Scaffolds

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Dex Uchiha, Jun 30, 2011.

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  1. Dex Uchiha

    Dex Uchiha Deified.

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    In every man
    every animal
    ever spore
    critter, blade of grass
    is oneness
    the brotherly chains
    of divine conscious.

    Building scaffolds in a hurricane
    to reach the tranquility of heaven.
    Where the thunder ends
    and we can finally hear
    the beating of the one heart.

    We run with feet aflame
    when all the answers
    are found standing still.
    And we rediscover the infinite pleasures
    of the wind flowing through our hair
    damp sands trapped between our toes.
    test
  2. Knowledge

    Knowledge 12 lbs with dick insert.

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    59,534
    Your better than this.
    test
  3. Dex Uchiha

    Dex Uchiha Deified.

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    Wish I could figure out what you're getting out of this.
    test
  4. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    heres the good: the flow was perfect. Syntax, silibils were proper for a start to finish read.

    only thing missing was a common thread to ground the poem together in the coherent realm of human understanding, that is to say this was a bit abstract. Not bad in a sense but not right for the tone you had set.

    I still think this is good. Ill remember you.
    test
  5. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    Building scaffolds in a hurricane
    to reach the tranquility of heaven.


    these lines stand out nicely. good job
    test
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