Sacrifice: A Friend or Your Woman? Where is the line drawn?

Discussion in 'Man Enough' started by TsirhCitna, Mar 4, 2010.

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  1. TsirhCitna

    TsirhCitna New Member

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    I don't mean this in the sense that, as soon as you get into a serious relationship, you cut off all ties with your friends.

    What I mean is, has anyone here ever sacrified someone they once considered a friend due to a female?

    I'll set a very good example of what I'm talking about here.

    Basically, all throughout high school I was this obnoxious weed-smoking dickhead. I had my three other pothead friends that I was always smoking up with. They knew this other guy from elementary school.

    When I graduated from high school, I stopped all the weed smoking shit. Besides blazing every day, I'm really a nerd. I've always loved video games and that's what the bulk of my teens consisted of besides blazing. I think the zenith of enjoyment in my life was, no joke, ordering an ounce of white widow and playing through The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for the N64.

    Anyways, this isn't about bragging about how much weed I smoked or some ridiculous garbage like that. What that purpose of this topic is that beneath the obnoxious weed-smoker, after I graduated from high school, I was just a nerd and so was this other guy that my friends knew from elementary.

    So we started talking and it turned out that we had similar senses of humour and taste in video games. We thought the same and we had psychological similarities. We shared a lot of similar outlooks and all that. He was a really good friend for a while.

    At some point, he wanted to start smoking weed and playing some video games. I thought, whatever, I'm pretty much a full-fledged nerd at this point, all I do is play video games and go to school. Might as well let loose for a little while.

    We only did that very periodically though. I think we smoked maybe a total of 20 times over a year and then we just stopped entirely.

    Nevertheless, eventually, he introduced me to my now-fiance. He was friends with her since they were kids and on a guy level, he told me he thought she was really hot and etc etc.

    Anyways, as I got to know her, he started talking to me about her and me and trying to help out and shit. Here's where it gets predictably weird.

    After we start dating, he starts being this emotional little pussy to her in private but the same to me when we talk. I only know of this because she tells me and shows me what he's been saying to her. Something like, "I've been your friend for 14 years, I've wanted to be with you forever and you just go off with a friend that I introduced you to?"

    A little backround check at this point: This guy that I'm talking about is a pathological liar. I have this friend that grew up with him alongside my fiance and he's really the only person I consider a friend at this point. Me and him used to talk about how this guy always lies, tells blatantly fake stories just to get laughs or attention and etc. We always knew but we kept it from confronting him, partly because it was funny to laugh about his ridiculous and partly because it would just shatter him as a person.

    Needless to say, he started being hostile to my fiance and she started ignoring him. She was pretty upset for a while because she thought he was her best friend but it turned out that he was only befriending her because he wanted to date her. When she told him that she was in love with me, he started crying on her and said that they should be together and that they'll be happy forever and whatever. She told him that she sees him as a great friend but she isn't interested in him sexually and as a partner.

    This is why I, personally, feel betrayed and double-crossed by him. He never told me he ever wanted anything to do with her, never said anything to me when I inquired about her and he even told me some things about her to help me get on her good side when I was persuing her. In the end, he was just playing some psychological balance bullshit where he wanted to stay in complete alleigance with me as a friend and he wanted to keep her to himself even though she didn't want him at all.

    In summary, I used to be friends with someone who introduced me and helped me forge my relationship with my fiance. He attempted to manipulate me to make it seem like he was on my side while trying to pull her away from me because he wanted her to himself simultaneously.

    Personally? I really do love my woman and for the amount of lying and bullshit my friend did, I had to cut him off. He could have said anything at any point, but he never did. I had to find out from a third party. He is either a liar or a coward and I don't want to be friends with either. Even now, three years later, he still hasn't said a single thing about it to me.

    So I impose a question to you guys out there;

    What do you value? Is it "bros before hoes" with no holds barred? Is it situaitonal? Do you think I was wrong? Am I a piece of shit? Have you guys had to make any similar decisions?
    test
  2. RapCritik

    RapCritik New Member

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    "bro's over hoe's" .....is shaky. I read the first half and then the last 3 paragraphs. So I gotta ask: Did your fiancee cut him off too?
    test
  3. TsirhCitna

    TsirhCitna New Member

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    test
  4. LeePipino

    LeePipino What had happened was..

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    Your friend crossed the line when he was dishonest about his feelings for his friend, your fiance... so he did this to himself.. how can u be friends with someone after the trust is broken?
    test
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