[S3:WK1] Infinite Truth 8-2 vs Chin Kwon 0-0 (VOTE NOW!)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Lucifa, Jun 16, 2008.

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  1. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

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    [​IMG]

    Verses are due before Thursday 11:59pm EST

    It is highly recommended that you read and understand all the rules and regulations.

    Click Here For Rules

    All competitors MUST vote on the [Semi-Final] battles or face vote deductions.

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  2. Chin Kwon

    Chin Kwon The Angkorian

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  3. Infinite Truth

    Infinite Truth ...scatterboxx rocks.

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    IT vs. Chin Kwon.


    sounds like a mortal kombat II battle.
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  4. Infinite Truth

    Infinite Truth ...scatterboxx rocks.

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  5. Infinite Truth

    Infinite Truth ...scatterboxx rocks.

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    "beat drop"

    {"beat drop".}

    ...you came like a sudden beat drop.
    take two hits.
    make music.
    make love.
    seesaw.
    …destiny danced with serendipity.
    got down rhythmically…
    metaphysically.
    finally
    an incredible person to hold.
    what timing…
    as sensual surges explode.
    chemicals nourish the soul
    as medical worth for us both.
    be-lieve me,
    sweetie.
    curtains won’t close…
    visuals sparking
    visible stars in your eyes
    got me spun like
    summer night
    elliptical carnival rides,
    i grasped the mic,
    then spoke verbalized rhymes.
    flowing beat
    poetry,
    while smoke circles rise high.
    these cursive words of mine-
    yes, they curvature & twine.
    surging,
    they swerving,
    just like serpent spines.
    kick back.
    deep in the smoke surface, grind.
    while i work with
    third shift’s
    wordsmiths, unwind.
    sunshine,
    here’s an idea.
    how ‘bout this…?
    we split now,
    dip out,
    then get down quick.
    [she grabbed with her little fists,
    & kept me clenched tight.
    & gave such good roadhead,
    i ran one too many red lights.]

    [​IMG]

    [she grabbed with her little fists,
    & damn near clenched me too tight.
    thank you, god almighty.
    i'm not ready to die.]

    i slapped the bitch,
    like,
    "shame on you!!
    you lucky that shit
    was just some bad deja vu!"





    topic: deja vu.
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  6. Chin Kwon

    Chin Kwon The Angkorian

    Joined:
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    [​IMG]




    The Chaos Theory


    What is it about death that intrigues us?
    that cloak of mystery eluding our every sensory
    it's not just me;
    cause you can, in fact, trace this fascination
    back to the past when,
    savages clashed and...that's when it happened;
    that battered prospect, wheezing and gasping for his last breath
    and so began the last quest to answer the question of "what's past death?"
    there's been many aspect of society that was highly shaped
    by this notion of natural motion; products of prying dismay
    just take religion for example; it's not created for moral view
    but rather to cater to those in pain, by saying "there's more to
    life" than meets the eyes. And indeed in time
    this deep allure proceed to endure with sweeping find
    from Jesus to Science.....all were keened to fine
    the reason for it's being; this piece of God's sweet design
    and even authors seized the opportunity to drop their lore
    on this morbid topic as RAVEN squawk for the lost Lenore.
    But we don't have to look far, i'll make a bet with all..
    that we'll have at least one contender who'll pen a death script for
    this week's topical league. Possibly another jest at death twist
    though a tired cliche, still...no less the most reflected subject
    disected with nothing left. Yes, it's highly probable...
    that the reason we're so inspired by this topic prove
    life has gotten too easy. Deep inside we desire the mystery
    an enticing forbidden tree that keep us striving for 'what could be'
    with the spark of technology, we're often robbed of this property
    besides that cold dark, bold stark depart of this quantum leap...
    we're constantly on our knees for some null discovery

    a harsh reminder, well designed in that Charles De Lint quote *
    Perhaps our whole obsession with death's a social digression
    only accepted by those who hold life as slow descension
    cause most could argue that life is social class, hatred and ignorant
    direct OPPOSITE of DEATH...cause death knows no prejudice


    so...

    What is it about death that intrigues us?
    that cloak of mystery; eluding our every sensory
    it's not just me;
    cause you can, in fact, trace this fascination
    back to the past when,
    savages clashed and...that's when it happened....​


    Topic: Chaos Theory



    * Excerpt taken from the Charles De Lint Novel "Ivory and Horn"
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  7. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

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    top side ..
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  8. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

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    straight battle ..

    IT - same old same old .. this is a good and a bad thing IMO .. I enjoy reading your verses and I like the extra short structure you use .. you utilise words to create the short format which is to be commended .. but at the same time I sometimes feel (especially with this verse) "I've read this before" .. even though it was a new verse some of it seems familiar as you once again used "elliptical/smoke circles/carnival" as a means to descriptive work .. the impact wearing off .. it flowed smoothly and I enjoyed the read even if it actually felt like deja vu reading it lol .. the content was straight but I'm not 100% sure I am on your wavelength with it .. I take from it that she's giving him a blowjob in the car but I'm a little lost on the 'deja vu' aspect of it .. I don't see the loop of event(s) .. but the read was good never-the-less ..

    Chin - I was feeling the concept behind this piece .. took a topical approach to it and worked it pretty well .. mechanics were fine as the read felt fluid enough and the rhyming was straight .. the content held strong although there was room to delve even deeper into the topic via the social aspects .. the reference to the league was a bit cheesy but as a social comment I guess it does fit in with the piece to make the reference .. all in all I thought it was a solid drop ..

    Vote = Chin Kwon .. I don't see this as a case of quantity over quality .. but I do think Chin gave me more from his verse .. it's possible that it's just me missing where the "deja vu" comes into IT's verse but that left a sour note for me in not having that evident .. it was still up to usual IT poetic mechanics that I enjoy but it also seems this week was worded for wording sake .. it's rare to see me vote a topical over a story piece but I think this one had the most enjoyment/interest taken from the topical so Chin takes the vote for me ..
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  9. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    IT - well for what there was it flowed really well, though that's not overly hard to do with such short lines...obviously a fast paced piece, but it just left me yearning for more at the end, like it ended way to abruptly for me and at the end the story ended up really being about absolutely nothing. I unno this was a miss for me as far as any real content goes homie.

    Chin - This here was a prime example of when topicals can succeed in the league, when you take a subject and you stick it through, I felt the flow worked for me though at times I felt it was a little to much run-on from one line to the next and would have enjoyed some breaks in the flow to indulge more in the read instead of running through it. Also I think you got lucky this week /w IT coming half assed, but this worked for what it was. I would have also liked to see you offer your own conclusion and up your rhyme scheme...these are all things you should look into working on for weeks to come as you wont get away /w pieces like this towards the top of the ladder.

    vote = Chin.

    He delivered a more complete piece, whereas IT's piece was a fun quick read, but it really lacked substance, hence Chin's piece was more enjoyable to read because of what it actually offered.
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  10. Ace the Prophet

    Ace the Prophet A Prophet to the Game

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    IT- I'm liking your piece man. Shit kept me hooked throughout the whole piece, especially the red lights line. However, you kinda threw me off with how all of a sudden it goes from being the best roadhead ever to slappin a bitch across the face and callin it deja vu. Maybe it was meant to be a cliff hanger but it left me with a bunch of questions, wondering how exactly it was deja vu. Besides that, I'm liking the structure even though I'm not a big fan of the short line structure. You executed it well. Overall it was a good piece that left out a big chunk at the end.

    CK- Your piece started off a little slow with your opener so it took me a minute to get into it, but once I did shit kept me hooked. You flowed pretty well throughout the piece and your vocab and imagery were definitely on point. Thought it was cool how you tied in the league to your piece, haha. That "Death knows no prejudice" line stook the hell out to me. Definitely had me like "Damn!" lol..Good piece CK

    I'm gonna have to go with Chin Kwon on this one. Though I thought IT had better mechanics throughout his piece I was left with a big question of what exactly was the deja vu that occurred and how did it tie in with all the story? Still a good battle.

    Vote- CK
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  11. .:Pain:.

    .:Pain:. Futurely J. Keeper

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    IT - You prolly have my favorite flow and rhyme scheme of all time. It's super unique to and to put it simply, it sounds real good when I spit it, lol. Unfortunately, I feel like your wording occasionally suffers because of it. I feel like for a lot of the verse, right up until the end really, I didn't even really know what was goin' on, I just had a loose idea someone was about to get laid. The ending wasn't too great, but I feel like the way you tied in your topics should give you points, because that part of your verse was really dope.

    Chin Kwon - Concept was dope as fuck son. The way you disected why man is so intrigued with death was really great. You had great vocabulary and pretty good wording, and the concepts you were trying to project really came through in your writing. My only problems are with mechanics. Your mechanics were REALLY lacking in your piece, your flow was terribly stretched, and your rhyme scheme, while nice in some parts, just absolutely fell apart in others. I feel like if you worked on your mechanics even just a little bit more, you'd have yourself one of the best verses of the week.

    Vote - IT, because while the good in Chin's verse was better than the good in IT's (concept, plot line, writer's voice), the bad in Chin's verse was just so much worse than IT's (rhyme scheme/flow), and I'm a sucker for great mechanics. Great battle though, if Chin works on his mechanics, there's no doubt in my mind he'll be a top writer...
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  12. Pharaohe Def

    Pharaohe Def Take a Swing

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    CK
    just take religion for example; it's not created for moral view
    but rather to cater to those in pain, by saying "there's more to
    life" than meets the eyes. And indeed in time
    this deep allure proceed to endure with sweeping find
    from Jesus to Science.....all were keened to fine

    this segment of your verse was very sick, and very true might i add. i liked your topic. story was well told. flow was good. could've been better at some points.

    IT
    your flow was on point bro. it was very good and easy to follow. however i had a hard time really understanding what your piece was about. idk if it was just me and i'm a moron; but i had a hard time following it. Which surprises me because I've read your stuff before and it's normally VERY good.

    vote- CK
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  13. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

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    It:
    Man you absolutely nailed the sex part.. the whole mix up with sex/music was def loaded with details shit was hot, making me think you actually dropped when you dropped heh.. Anywhoot man story was a bit meh for me truthfully, flow ok but for most part I think what held this piece was the creative imagery.. Nice dude

    Chin:
    Hey dude first thing i've read from you, not too shabby.. Man you caught me by the intro and followed through for the majority of it.. Good topic to cover and i liked the different mixes from religion through to science and that death isn't prejuduce line nice.. All in all a real sweet piece..pz

    vote= chin kwon

    For the more polished and better delivered piece..
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  14. TheReturn

    TheReturn Life of the Party

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    IT - Once again, I love your word choice, poetic style, flow, all of your writing mechanics. But the story lacked here for me. I laughed at ran one too many red lights because of road head and then the picture pops up with like 100 red lights, lol. That was dope, but that's really all the story was.

    CK - A nice topical, pretty good take on death, and I definitely can appreciate the fact that you took on a philosophical approach to your verse, which is something I enjoy doing from time to time. One thing I absolutely CANNOT STAND is ending a line mid sentence and carrying it to the next line. It chops the fuck out of the flow, makes it sound bad, and should only be used MAYBE once per verse. It was way over done here.

    Vote = CK for a more thought provoking and original piece, even though he was terribly outshined by IT when it comes to mechanics.
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  15. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

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    infinite truth - i actually dug this and was really getting into it up until the terrible ending, i can tell you put little effort into finishing this but for what its worth the majority of the verse was good, very poetic presentation and mature execution with good language and interesting descriptions, but overall this failed to connect in the end making it an easy victory for nearly any formidable opponent

    chin kwon - decently written but i really felt as though the content was dry and bland, a lot of topicals posted this week though (just a note to self), nevertheless this had its moments but overall it just drug on into oblivion with no real clear sense of direction but a lot of babble, it was too long for the amount of umph that was projected through the script and either should have been shortened for a greater effect or just had better content incorporated, overall though it was a notable topic and i dug it somewhat and IT gives me little reason to bash this even more being that his verse was damn near a gimmie, so i'll leave it at that

    vote - chin kwon, although he seriously almost lost this for me, had IT's good been longer or ending been slightly better then it would have been his, but as is CK did enough for the win
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  16. vada

    vada New Member

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    IT...

    i've always loved your style but this one just wasn't doing it for me, all that and then it ends with just you getting head and running a red light, did i miss something, as for the structure it was dope like always i love your style , very poetic with great wording, but this was lackluster when it comes to content


    Chin...

    ok i must say this soliloquoy was just all over the place, but maybe that's what you wanted to do i hope, any way in some parts your rhyme scheme was great in others it just didn't rhyme, the internal rhyme in some areas was just random, as for the verse, i feel you on alot of things, especially the religion part, verse was just average for me though

    vote - chin kwon

    just thought his verse had a more direction, i liked IT's verse until the end and then i was like wtf did someone just not feel like writing anymore, any way this was an average battle my least favorite so far
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  17. nah son

    nah son the hundredaire

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    vote - ck

    it just didnt care i dont think and just put some thoughts together quite sporadically, it had a cool flow and a nice topical vibe to it but the content wasn't there for.. i am also not a big fan of the structure.. anyway it was okay for what it was..

    ck this was a solid topical .. i mean it was pretty normal per se, as in not over the top wow'ing me to death with mastermind thoughts.. it was more so a "yeah okay" type thing. the structure was okay but i would like to see a better rhyme scheme next time k? cool drop over all
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  18. Quriosity

    Quriosity Moderator

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    chin kwon wins, 9-1 in votes
    infinite truth fails to post links
    chin kwon still wins, 9-(-4) in votes
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