RSTL CHAMPIONSHIP: 1. Mr. Mynd 1 3 -2 Vs. 2. Sacrifice 8 -1

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Extreme Venom, Oct 24, 2006.

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  1. Extreme Venom

    Extreme Venom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    [​IMG]


    RSTL RULES AND REGULATIONS

    RULES AND REGULATIONS - THERE'S SOME NEW SHIT SO CLICK AND READ


    The Standard League Rules will still be Enforced

    Due Dates

    VERSES DUE: Saturday, 11:59PM PST/2:59AM EST
    Verses posted after the deadline will not count!

    VOTES DUE Monday, 11:59PM PST/2:59 EST
    Votes posted after the deadline will not count!

    • Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.
    • Verses must incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.
    • Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.
    • RECYCLING IS NOT STRICTLY PROHIBITED. You may not use any verse that you have previously used within the league at any time. Whether it was a no show, tournament verse recycled for the league or visa versa or any verse that have ever been used within the league perimeters.
    • During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.
    • Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a “show” but will not result in a match. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent posts between 16-64, you will lose the match but you will remain in the league. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent does not show, you will “Win by no-show”.

    Voting:
    • If you do not show you can still vote and post the links in your match to receive full voting points. In addition, if you do not show, yet vote on at least 4 matches (Or, every match available, should there be less than 4 matches to vote on) you will remain in the league.
    • Votes must be hidden! To hide a vote, first thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. The last thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, a backslash “/”, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. Unhidden votes will not count towards the match or towards your vote requirements.
    • No second chance votes! Editing votes for any reason must be approved by mods and explained in reason for editing.
    • No bias votes! If you have a personal investment in wanting someone to lose, whether because that member voted against you once, or you just don’t like that person, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match. If have a personal investment in wanting someone to win, whether because they’re crew member, or because you want to face that person in the next week’s brackets, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match.
    • ”Bias” must be confirmed by a Moderator.
    • If there is a match which you will not be able to vote on, due to “Bias” of any type, state so within your match prior to Verses Due Deadline. If this reduces the number of matches available for you to vote on to the point where you are unable to vote on at least 4 matches, the point scale will be adjusted according to how many matches you do vote on.
    • 3-ways are inevitable. In order to provide a tie-breaker in a 3-way, you are now required to indicate in what order the contestants finished (1st, 2nd, 3rd).
      anyone who does not show or vote is suspended one week and must sign-in again to be inserted the following week.



    Topics: http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=1016268


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  2. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    5,955
    In... and ready to duke it out.

    Good luck to you. Let's give em a show.
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  3. Mr. Mynd

    Mr. Mynd The British Guy

    Joined:
    May 11, 2004
    Messages:
    602
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  4. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 1999
    Messages:
    5,955
    I can't hold it any longer...

    You see what power is - holding someone else's fear in your hand and showing it to them!
    Amy Tan


    "These Days"

    A slow unraveling shattering the fabric of past
    -damage, created by the massive battleship wrath
    It's a spiral descending for a while depending
    On the miles we travel, or the piles of dead trees
    Cutting off the human supply, losing in time
    Any oxygen with problems keeping music alive.
    In a song, is how we choose to survive
    Continue to provide hope as lives move to the side
    When most won’t even try using their minds
    Usually blind drones, falling as time goes
    On a trite road with the landscape barren, the land's waste
    Tearing a man's face, we can't change where as
    We command slaves to plant grain, in a camp slain
    Concentrated like Anne Frank's parents
    Too many ways, enslaved by the damn banks
    -careless, funded by the man's state terrorists

    In the days where the same carry the globe
    In a cage we sit and pray that our heritage grows
    But in these days with our fairness exposed
    We sit amazed digging graves that tear at our souls

    A passive aggressive, manic depressive,
    savage suggestive, tragic connected avenue...
    One minute there's an open road to travel through
    The next minute exposes hope, but cracked in two
    Hoping to have a clue about the present and past
    and use the last of truths to capture new attitudes.

    A marriage-divorced... in fairness they ask
    Awareness we lack, lied to even as we stare at the facts
    Why, do they even try, do they even lie?
    I see through 'em, right through their meaningless disguise
    Evenings in the skies as the sun closes curtains
    I focus working, to show the earth what’s over urgent
    A social burning of ties between hope and purpose
    I breathe, over nervous, beneath open circuits
    Decrease visual on myself, camouflaged in leaves
    With the original in itself, animosity.
    There isn't as much time it seems to find a crease
    To find the peace society needs, through honesty
    Propagated through constellations of zodiacs
    The fondest hatred is concentrating to hold me back
    The constant wave of mind sedation I find evasive
    So I climb the gates and apply my faith upon the pages

    All of us die, why? We often oblige
    a coffin inscribed by the hands of the boss in our lives.

    The strongest survive, and the lesser are chained.
    The fault isn't quite the expected to blame.
    The awkward insides of the pessimist's cage
    houses cowards that allow for no effort to change.

    A crystal clear vision through the minutes that tick away
    On the clock face, that finality that you wish to hear
    But quick to stay, the clock breaks, a fiscal year
    Passes with disastrous consequences, an omnipresent
    Condescendence, and not to mention the kind of weapon
    That divides society into biometrics... denial sets in
    As simple as pen and paper, extensive labor
    Replaced by precision lasers, progressive nature
    Taking control of societal infrastructure, we live to suffer
    Bigger brother with his eyes out, to witness us hurt
    We live within limits and minutes of becoming diminished
    None of our business when death is coming to get us
    And none of us discuss it; it’s easy to obey the law
    When the law is made to claw away and slay us all
    The fate of all society lies within a coward's deceit
    Hiding the strengths of the power elite.

    We have, in fact, two kinds of morality side by side: one which we preach but do not practice, and another which we practice but seldom preach.
    Bertrand Russell
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  5. Mr. Mynd

    Mr. Mynd The British Guy

    Joined:
    May 11, 2004
    Messages:
    602
    "Let`s Play A Game Of Charades - WHO AM I?!"

    [​IMG]

    "There may not be no slaveships, chains, or whips no more! But what I'm sayin' is, that fundamental premise is STILL there -
    You've got the White motherfuckers, conducting the Black motherfuckers! We STILL eatin' out of they hands, brother."
    Jimmy Banks

    - Peoria, Illinois: January 13th 1947 –

    They called Peoria the model city. That meant they had us nig.gers under control.
    I clung to my clothes,
    As the cumbersome cold, brandished its bite upon the stub of my nose.
    Big, brown, and bulbous it glowed, as I was wandering home ..
    .. Trudging through snow,
    Which covered the roads, in this blusterous show.
    Crisp, white, clusters conjoled and stuck to the soles ..
    .. Of the shoes daddy had bought me,
    The day they cut his parole.
    My inquisitive nature often met his stubborn repose ..
    .. As I yearned for more attention,
    Than he ever cared enough to disclose.
    My Grandmother’s brothel,
    Was as close we had to a humble abode ..
    .. It’s rustically old,
    Cupboard‘s bestowed, with nothing but hope.
    It was here that years of rice and peas had stunted my growth!
    Yet also here where I would, with hindsight, discover the most…

    I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
    George Burns

    It was the bitter end of October when I fumbled and probed ..
    .. With my winter-jacket,
    Making sure the buttons were closed.
    When I became the unwitting victim two thugs would provoke ..
    .. Inside the school-yard,
    And leave looking like a couple of jokes.
    I was the class cut-up,
    My audiences and subject-matter grew ..
    .. By age fourteen,
    I was on stage performing with an amateur dramatics group.
    And come early March `64 -
    There was NO stopping me!
    I’d decided to take a bite out of the Big Apple through stand-up comedy.
    But I would lack a ‘voice’ of my own,
    Until my style refined ..
    .. So I imitated that of Bill Cosby,
    The man I idolised.
    But later I would find,
    The material toothless and without purpose ..
    .. Spendin’ the rest of the decade,
    Concentratin’ on the underground circuit.
    When I resurfaced in `74,
    I spoke on EVERYTHING I’d lived, seen, or heard ..
    My analytical views,
    No longer suppressed by mainstream concerns.
    I’d tired of those same comedians,
    Always sitting on the fences ..
    .. And attacked the White Establishment -
    Regardless of the consequences!
    My career soared,
    Which the plaudits found surprising as hell ..
    .. Of course, the Black audience loved it -
    And the White audience had lined up as well!
    As my career looked on the up,
    In the public eye ..
    .. My private life had spiralled out of control,
    From the drugs I’d tried.
    It was 1980,
    When I next hit the headlines of the fervid press ..
    .. After an attempt at freebasing cocaine,
    Had almost left me burned to death.
    A succession of films, and failed marriages,
    Followed my path into showbiz ..
    .. Until in 1986,
    I was stricken down with Multiple Sclerosis.
    Wheelchair bound,
    I finally lost the long-fought bout when I died ..
    .. On the Tenth of December. in 2005.
    But through the medium of comedy,
    I’d achieved more than the others ..
    .. I’d transcended racial barriers, and opened doors for my brothers.
    I’d gone from having a lonely childhood,
    Coloured by ignorance ..
    .. To poking fun at racial differences, and having the world at my fingertips.
    From rags to riches,
    And then back again in my tragic life ..
    .. But I discovered,
    There was a lot more to the bigger picture than just Black and White.
    There was a lot more to ME than just black and white,
    As I could fully relate to the biography,
    That sat in my lap tonight.

    WHO AM I?!

    [​IMG]

    Richard Franklin Lennox Thomas Pryor III
    December 1, 1940 – December 10, 2005
    Rest In Peace

    TOPICS: You're reading a book and it suddenly takes hold of you…
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  6. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 1999
    Messages:
    5,955
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  7. Infinite Truth

    Infinite Truth ...scatterboxx rocks.

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2000
    Messages:
    7,962
    [hide]
    GREAT battle. seriously. both verses were fantastic.
    sacrifice- brilliant scheme- risked flow at times (to me), but flow is a complete matter of personal perception as far as text is concerned, so i'll try not to let that hinder any feelings about the verse. very well written- an intriguingly intellectual verse. something more "intelligent" than what i was used to reading in the rstl when i was a regular here. i'd try to pick out strong points- but the verses consistently shined. nice stuff.
    mynd- the opening sequence of your story was written brilliantly. that sort of detailed descriptiveness is a form of writing i tend to favor over most any other style. what was even stronger was the scheme (the entire segment rhymed which was pretty ill). the story was great- definitely got the classic storytelling elements of old school rstl. but when you really dug into the story & started describing the events, there just wasn't anything special to me. you ducked away from the descriptions you had w/in the first 15 or so lines, & merely told a story. it was a good story, definitely entertaining. but there was just nothing that caught my eye about being exceptional. i can tell you're an incredible writer, as is evident in the opening excerpt of your piece; i just have a feeling this wasn't your best piece. still, it was a great drop.
    anyways, for that reason,
    vote-sacrifice.
    great shit guys, though. seriously.[/hide]
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  8. MrMister

    MrMister Urizen

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    6,238
    [HIDE]vote - mynd

    Sac - the flow in this piece was outstanding the wordplay
    was nice as well but to my taste it was a little to abstract
    you didnt really put it together to my opinion
    all the lines stood alone and didnt really connect in any way
    but still is was a nice piece

    Mynd - again you did it ... the multiple rhymes come off smooth
    not forced once again and the way you interpreted that pic
    was a dope way to see it so that was a plus point as well
    but I just liked how you told this story you had me into it all the way
    dope piece man

    this was a dope champ battle but to me Mynd took this
    I enjoyed his piece more[/HIDE]
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  9. rocket

    rocket New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2003
    Messages:
    276
    [hide]
    First off lemme say just Wow to both competitors. Very well done both of you.

    SacriFICE - Your story had me drawn in but kinda slowly it felt kinda rough for me and things didnt sort themselves out for me till the 2nd verse. You ended up telling an entertaining story with great flow and i'd say an 8/10 on word choice. You really nailed your topic think. A great piece overal 7.5/10

    Mr. Mynd - I have to say your boast of pulling something extraspecial outta your hat this week is pretty on point. This strangely kept to every topic up their that i saw you throw out to us. each verse portrayed its separate topic well the part that blew me away was the fact that the last topic you used also hit the right spot and I loved it I'd say a 9/10

    vote Mr. Mynd
    [/hide]
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  10. Vigil

    Vigil Im infinite consciousness

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    884
    [hide]sacrifice - the writing was so fluent, the flow was the real strong point in this verse. The rhymes were really good, you dropped a lot of knowledge in a subtle way. The verse was just written so well, I can't find something I didn't like about it...

    you had so many sick passages, here's one of my favorite..

    With the original in itself, animosity.
    There isn't as much time it seems to find a crease
    To find the peace society needs, through honesty
    Propagated through constellations of zodiacs
    The fondest hatred is concentrating to hold me back
    The constant wave of mind sedation I find evasive
    So I climb the gates and apply my faith upon the pages


    Baron Mynd - you're one, if not, the most creative writer in this league. I like your originality, you switch your subject matter every week and I admire that alot. The whole piece was laid out the well, from the first quote to the last one. The rhymes and flow were as usual really good.


    This is one of the toughest, closest match i've read over the past three months, its also one of the few matches i've read tho lol. Baron had the original verse, and sacrifice had the better written verse in my opinion. Both verses were fun to read,....

    damn this is tough, i'm gonna vote for sacrifice, his verse just spoke to more, but i aprreciate baron's verse more.

    vote - sacrifice[/hide]
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  11. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    [hide]woah, who the fuck is rocket...?

    lmao
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  12. J o o k

    J o o k Guest

    just peeping
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  13. Mr. Mynd

    Mr. Mynd The British Guy

    Joined:
    May 11, 2004
    Messages:
    602
    Great battle my man!

    UPPING!
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  14. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2002
    Messages:
    4,546
    [hide]

    This was a dandy match to read lol.

    I'm leaning toward SacriFICE on this one.

    It's pretty hard to break this one down.

    Neither of these pieces were lacking in much.

    In terms of flow, I found it quite a bit easier to read through SacriFICE's. Baron, it's funny because a few weeks back, I wrote a rhyme using a pretty similar format and I particularly remember you saying that one of the reasons you couldn't get into it as much as the one it was against was the flow. I'll be damned if I didn't sort of have that same problem with yours. I guess it's one thing when you are the person writing it and you know how it's supposed to read. It's a whole seperate thing when it comes down to how someone who doesn't know will interpret it. So I don't know, maybe you had a good point in the old match I referred to because I'm sure to you, your piece has exquisite flow, and in a sense, I agree, but in terms of readability, I had a harder time getting through yours than I did SacriFICE's, which was just silky smooth throughout.

    In terms of rhymes, yall' both went bezerk lol. Here is where I made a small distinction though. Both of yall' started out VERY strong in the rhyme department, but Baron, once you started getting into the meat of the story, the level of your rhyming started falling off. In other words, it seemed to me like you began sacrificing rhymes for content. PROPS to you because if you have to sacrifice one, rhymes should be it, BUT, the only issue here is that from what I read, SacriFICE never lost the level of rhymes he was using and his content still stayed on the same level as it started. So in that sense, while you didn't do anything wrong, that particular little thing didn't compare favorably to SacriFICE's. Like I said, you still did damn good though.

    In terms of content, same shit. SacriFICE's shit was pretty much as good as anything I've seen him write up to this point. It was heavy as hell, maybe not for all people, but you know, I'm 26 and I love it when people try to push the envelope rather than playing down the level of potential readers. That isn't to say that people in here are dumb. No fucking way. It's just kind of cool when someone doesn't play to the low end of things. That has nothing to do with Baron, that is strictly a point about SacriFICE's and some RSTL writing in general. Baron, I knew where you were going after about 16 lines, and at that point, I was sort of reading through the motions if that makes any sense. I know the story of Richard Pryor pretty well so it was mostly review for me. However, I LOVED how you tied in the idea of getting lost in a book. I think that if you would have taken that concept, and perhaps gone with an actual story rather than a biography, this battle would be a completely different story, and I'm actually sad that I didn't come up with that idea myself lol.

    Yeah, like I said, I think SacriFICE got this one by a small margin.

    I really enjoyed both of these.

    By the way, Baron, I saw Fold &DIC say somewhere just to give you your win, in which case you're 14-2 with 2 defenses. Lemme know if that isn't where you want to be lol. [/hide]
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  15. TheReturn

    TheReturn Life of the Party

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Damn, I was really hoping I wouldn't have to pick a winner in this one, but since there is only 3 other battles up besides mine I guess I'll have to break this shit down.

    SacriFICE:
    Writing was fucking sick, top notch. Flow was definitely there, read pretty fast-paced and was still easy to keep up with. Content was nice and I liked the way you pulled the two topics together. This segment here was particularly nice:

    A passive aggressive, manic depressive,
    savage suggestive, tragic connected avenue...
    One minute there's an open road to travel through
    The next minute exposes hope, but cracked in two
    Hoping to have a clue about the present and past
    and use the last of truths to capture new attitudes.



    Mr. Mynd:
    First off, the white/black take on that picture was dope as fuck. The first half of this verse is dope as fuck. Then after your first rhyme scheme runs out and transitions into the next I felt like it started to fall off. The content is still there and the piece is still on topic, but it didn't have that Baron feel of writing. It started to rhyme every other line and the scheme didn't carry out over long periods and still make sense like your writing normally does. You redeemed yourself with the ending though, really made me think that you wrote this piece because the biography of this man had such an influence on you. Really believeable ending which is one thing I always try to incorporate in my verses.


    Anyways, damn, like I said I hate having to pick a winner in a battle like this but here is how I see it. SacriFICE had a nice piece throughout with good mechanics and structure, and Baron had a story that was easier to follow and yet still held my attention throughout. Although the ending to Baron's was somewhat anti-climatic because I had never heard of the comedian, it was still a good ending because of the take on the topic and how he portrayed it as taking him over so much that it made him write a piece about it this week. I do feel like the end part of Baron's verse was a bit of a let down writing wise though and that's why I'm giving my vote to SacriFICE because I felt like he kept it consistenly dope throughout the whole piece. Really good battle though I will emphasize that!
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  16. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Agreed...
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  17. Kryptikal

    Kryptikal Soulstice.

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    342
    [hide] mynd - ha, you put some effort into this one. never seeen eiter really write before, but you sure knew some shit about pryor. first off, richard was a fucking great comedian, so thank you for writing about him, and secondly, you put a lot of detail into your verse here, not only with his history, but with word description, detailing the scene with some nice imagery, i liked the way you threw in the first topic you used for the beggining, and the ending topic for the last part, so yeh, you were original, and you had some nasty mechanincs..

    fice - whoa. i read mynds first, because i hit reply box and i read downwards... and i was lke.. baron has a sick flow, maybe i should just vote for him now, but damn man, this flow was great, the end rhymes were there, with the occasional internal multie to booost the pace. it stated consistant as well. you both came very well.. but fice did more with his topic, it seems, and outshined mynd flow-wise... congratulations

    v - sacrifice.
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  18. blackwell

    blackwell New Member

    Joined:
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    199
    srry to free post in this thread but ima drop a solid vote tomorow on it.peace
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  19. TheReturn

    TheReturn Life of the Party

    Joined:
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    *slaps blackwell with a rulebook*
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  20. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
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    Baron...you and jook have a real similarity and knack in that respect...you took a list of stale topics...and you completely flipped it into something different...the flow and scheme were on point throughout and the story transitioned well...you had me captivated in the piece and curious as to who you were writing about...in truth i didn't know all that about Richard Pryor...and I loved the piece...great job man...

    Sac...i mean...sure your flow is there and all, but as I read this piece what your call a more developed rhyme scheme just seems like really basic shit ... choose to survive ... move to the side... it's just nothing special for me...I mean...I guess that's why we can't see eye to eye...we clearly don't like each others styles...on the other hand you did your topic justice and carried the piece well...

    vote for Mynd because I enjoyed his verse more...

    [/hide]
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