[Round 2] 3. Coup d'etat(1-0) vs 12. Nu`maaN(0-1)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Sep 6, 2011.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM EST
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  2. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    Check.

    1. Flow will decide this match. I had best flow well... because Nu is well known for it.
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  3. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

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  4. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

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    brother coup, i will need an extension as i'm going to go see elzhi at concert tonight.

    who knows what happens after that.

    but if i could get a 24 hour extension, that'd be great.

    if not, fuck it.

    :numaan:
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  5. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    Granted. Good luck man. I'll post Saturday too. I am almost done.

    Votes:
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  6. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

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    my final hour.

    [​IMG]

    crime shall shower in my final hour,
    lightning power sending shivers down you spineless cowards,
    i'm raw thunder - born and raised by my mother earth,
    my hunger lurks, since the day of my fucking birth,
    a nurseless curse, i wasn't worthy of my fathers name,
    a bastards pain, never felt by the heartless dame.

    she left me in the wilderness, had to hide in woods,
    .. i am that wolf cloaked in a red riding hood,
    study human fear amongst a council of beasts,
    most prestige gather when the sound of howlings unleashed,
    he who found me asleep, near the town that night,
    one howl through his teeth, causes frowns, fright, smite,
    but the flight of the eagle, and treading of a lion,
    leaves-all-ready-for-alliance, to the deadliest of tyrants,
    dead silence .. all hail their lord as i walk through,
    along with the first living thing that i ever talked to,
    been taught true, the black regal wolf is my guardian,
    imperious on two legs .. so i'm a god to them,
    with speech of solomon, i speak to my kingdom,
    the winged kings, have soared far beyond their own wisdom,
    they all listen, my words are written, like jewels to keep,
    .. coming from the boy who cried grown wolves to sleep,
    within the woods so deep, a self taught philosopher,
    .. an amphibian, a wild child, the flesh of lucifer,
    pure emotion, untampered by the manners of a human,
    such a malice being, drinking from the chalice of your ruins,
    you shall all perish, before a black cloak and his wolf,
    rarely seen by the human eye - arose from woods,
    .. choke you? i would. but mother taught me better,
    i let the earth take it's toll, and watch you mauled by terror,
    fire, wind and earth are from within my domain,
    cause disasters just to watch blood swim in the rain,

    my thoughts alone, when they clash they spark dark storms,
    i've drunk lava from volcanoes just to keep my heart warm,
    from smart pawn, to dark spawn, now crowned a king,
    not long to go before i pass, then all the clouds will sing,
    from the heavens above, upon the soil i'll return to,
    become one with my mother, who else would i turn to,
    you cannot capture the rapture, when my final hours passed,
    i've done counted every grain of sand, within my hourglass.


    i used the photo and 24 hours to live topic, just for nom.

    :numaan:
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  7. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    Camping gone wrong. How ? (THE EDDY SINCLAIR STORY)

    [​IMG]

    Eddy Sinclair and Summer Camp

    His danger inside is neutralized in apathy
    Anger resides, utilized by his eyes of agony
    Life salts away gradual, into abysmal depths
    Annually a little lower, so dismal he forgets
    It's first seen submerged in the confines of time
    A thirst in him, drowning to recombine his mind
    He raises the stakes- hoping to cash out again
    Instigating jeopardy, if and only sparingly then
    His Father assails no love and Mother is broken
    Seasonally cast away, like mail for the postmen
    He seals a new letter, wrote to make triple threats
    Penned by simple fantasies, with disdain for debts
    Summer camp is nearing End, around the corner
    Eddy bets all in, rubber stamping another horror...


    ***​

    Camp was in good spirits at the beginning
    Batting baseballs, I hit ten out in extra innings
    We shot arrows in grassy pastures, at bullseyes
    Swam in cool pools, splashing out under blue skies
    All the kids made friends and formed relationships
    I performed songs, for this vacation is hit or miss

    The issues in my mind became obsessive
    Slowly, all was coming out to be aggressive
    Nobody knows the dangers occupying my mind
    It's anger inoculated, in my eyes seen as signs
    To most, I'm just some counter-culture Gothic
    A kid with puss and blisters who authors comics
    Just a nonchalant, lovable fat kid: Eddy Sinclair
    Not gullible. I'm not a savant nor that teddy bear
    I'm.. I'm a student of revenge and I'm rather tired
    Too many pretend respect, as soon as it's required
    So far camp has been OK, lot's of meaningless talk
    I feel the pressure as my anxiety is seething to stalk

    The camp counselor pissed me off bad today
    And in one hour I just might come out and slay
    I study my subject materials, Eddy is for real
    My patients are pending, like pacifists rendering
    Aggressiveness to braver acts of surrenderings
    As pandemic is to prism, as uniformed continuum's
    Fairly suspect in this net for continuous dualisms
    As introspect inspects regret in studious sediments
    This is true of a afternoon ensuing my impediments

    This has to happen, because everybody lies
    Pull a false alarm, chances are everybody dies
    At night, they beat me with pillows and brick
    Sick, I'm yellow from bruises beaten with sticks
    I did not want to do this, I wanted to be accepted
    Instead I'm just that fat kid, lost and unconnected
    I told the pretty girls my evil, bewildered thoughts
    Filled by proverbial tales delivered free of cost
    The boys all laughed at me, told me I'm bluffing
    Don't toy with me, I'm old, wise and suffering

    Call me Eddy Sinclair, tomorrow I'll have ingredients
    For bomb flairs under my bed, for greed is expedient
    Spaghetti is so saucy and campers a flowery scent
    Taught rudeness by dividing the subtractions in my rife
    Caught you faking niceness, not for attractions in my life
    I'll stuff your turkey like bratwurst pushing a vaulted vice
    Set the timer early, pulled out exhausted and salted it on ice.

    For select feelings, the body become so electric
    Slowly posed, so lonely owned but fully eccentric
    Locally frayed to be this dismayed and dismantled
    A bully justified to be so tall-tailed and rattled
    See the look on my face ? Don't say a fucking word
    You only delay the inevitable so silence is preferred



    [​IMG]
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  8. Muti

    Muti I just write

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    Nu'man,

    really good story..flowed nicely and had great imagery..i thought the return to mom line was nice... props on it all..good use of the topic..the lava volcano line was cool also.. i thought your rhyming was better early then late..but still a solid read

    Coup

    your line to line is solid...the story was decent. Plenty of detail..the story itself sort of bored me and that was the downfall for me.. i just could not grasp it enough to say wow about the story itself...your skill is obvious but as the reader this didnt grasp me.

    my vote Nu'man both was solid stories but Nu'man grasped me better and held my interest. props to both
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  9. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    vote = Nu.

    Nu - your imagery was the strongest part of this verse however you spent so much time and space developing this character that you never actually addressed what would transpire in your final 24 hours other than to give a small nod to it at both the beginning and ending to your verse. You could have done without that topic all together as it didn't really add any effect to your verse.

    Coup - Life salts away gradually? Your wording is so awkward at times...spaghetti is so saucy? I mean c'mon bro. You wrote your basic teenage angst, columbine type of verse but in such a blah regurgitated and forced manner that I was happy to be done reading it and nothing more. A very poor showing.
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  10. fairydance2000

    fairydance2000 don't wait, Procrastinate

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    Nu’maaN
    Your rhymes were nicely matched to your story
    The flow was smooth
    But the part I liked best was your first stanza.
    The lines were wicked, and set you up nicely for the whole verse
    The imagery was good with a clear story
    Good job

    Coup
    A well told story, but I thought there was a lot missing that
    I would have like to hear more depth and detail to the tragedy
    And events.
    Your rhymes were good and in some areas they were great
    The flow was smooth for the most part.
    The imagery was good, but I needed more description of the event
    Nice drop
    Both of you have worked hard here I can see that, both with good stories, I just found Nu’maaN’s
    Story held my interest more
    Vote Nu’maaN
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  11. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    Nu - the imagery was dope to this but my favorite part of your verse again was the rhyming. the rhymes really sucked me in in the first stanza and you were able to keep it up the entire way through. good flow. the story itself really held my attention. after going back and checking last weeks and this weeks, i think the biggest issue you have it connecting your verse with your topics. the 24 hour one didnt work all that well with this verse. but aside from that this was dope.

    Coup - "they beat me with pillows and brick." this line stood out to me. im not sure what you mean. getting beaten with a pillow wouldnt hurt. at first read i didnt like how you ended it because it just seemed pretty abrupt, but i went back and read it, and i actually really liked the way you ended it. went well with the picture. your vocab was really good through this as well. and the imagery was nice. there were just a couple lines i didnt really like which hurt the verse.

    tough battle. but i think i have Nu taking this. good job guys
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  12. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

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    nu, i liked this one, the imagery was on point and the flow was good, rhymes were pretty straight forward and you had some nice multis. although how you told what you did was good, there really wasn't much substance to the story, but all around a good read


    coup...this could have been really epic, the story was nice, but the delivery of it was very boring, excellent use of vocabulary, athough at times it was a little much, sometimes the rhyme and flow weren't all that on for me, somewhat opposite to nu, you had a lot of substance to the story but didn't deliver it well


    very tough, but, i say a bad story told good is better than a good story told bad

    vote = nu
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  13. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    Nu - Very nice piece here. The wording was a bit awkward at one place. You said "talked to" when spoken to would have sounded better. Granted, what you said fit the rhyming better but just was a bit weird to me. Other than that, a pretty entertaining piece with solid rhyming and vocab. The story developed nicely and the imagery was very well described. Good work here Nu


    Coup - I had a huge problem with your wording and how it changed in places. You would get me going with your story then you would say something like

    "The camp counselor pissed me off bad today
    And in one hour I just might come out and slay"

    Just felt weird to me with how you were describing the rest of the story. There were also places were you spent too much effort rhyming instead of telling the story. Other than that, the story was enjoyable. The pace was a bit dragged out but still a nice story. Good work


    V/ Nu for an overall better piece of writing.
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  14. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    Nu wins 6 to -3.
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  15. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    Nu wins 6 to -3
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