Round 1 : PERTAiN2LiFE Vs. Soull (Pertain Wins)

Discussion in 'RSTL Grudge Matches and Tournaments' started by Lucifa, Nov 2, 2008.

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  1. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

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    test
  2. Soull

    Soull New Member

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    checking in.... first time I write something topical, this could be fun ^^
    test
  3. PERTAiN2LiFE

    PERTAiN2LiFE sheesh the rapper

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2003
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    test
  4. PERTAiN2LiFE

    PERTAiN2LiFE sheesh the rapper

    Joined:
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    Alaska
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    .
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    .
    .
    .

    I smoke a stog on the porch of my house, just sitting around
    When my lady approaches me with with a kiss on the mouth
    "How was work hun?" she replied fine, see dinner was heating
    Takes off her coat, with an ass like that, who's thinking of eating?
    Little Tony from the house next door, saw us making out
    And asks if he could eat over, the look in my eye told him not now
    He dipped down the street, we went inside about to eat
    Chicken Corde on Bleu, poured some wine, music sounds discreet
    We ended up talking politics, as I hollow to spiral a spliff
    She told me about the hospital, I spoke about my pilot gig
    High as shit, we listen to Miles Davis as we heat up
    Courageous like cougars outside of there cages, we fuck
    On the floor, up against the shower door, then bed before sleep
    It's a little passed three, when I hear the bedroom door creep
    I awake, see Tony step in, eyes wide, "whatsup man, you alright?"
    Then I notice the blood stains on his shirt that spills into the light
    "Oh fuck!" my girl springs up in shock, "What happened to you?"
    Tony doesn't speak, he kinda gnarls, those teeth come into view
    Sharp as blades, running at full speed, he jumps toward us both
    I caught the wiry bastard and held him down by his throat
    He's kicking and clawing at my arm, his nails dig into my skin
    Slippery fucker escapes and he's quick, turns toward my girlfriend
    She screams but before I can nab him, his fangs sink into flesh
    I pull him apart, he spits back blood, my girl hits the deck
    I stomp this kid out, certainly hearing his skull cracks
    Check on my girl... she's dead. I just fall back
    Scream in rage, what the fuck happened as I walk out of the room
    Before I can put the pieces together my girl rises from the tomb
    Blood thirsty, she jumps on top of me, with a screech in my ear
    She buries her teeth in my neck till bleeding appears
    My eyes roll back, this is what death feels like, a tongue with phlegm
    It's good to be alive...forever. I am one of them.

    [​IMG]
    test
  5. Soull

    Soull New Member

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    Quickly had to cobble something together, almost forgot about this >.<

    Bionic Rust Bucket

    The highlife is just a dream seeping away
    All he has now are those dreams which slowly decay
    But hes not like the others, hes better than that
    Through a clouded conscience he has something to aim at
    Cos murder, theft and rape is his produce
    Along with any feeling he can abuse
    Total omniscience is what he has achieved
    with that came the power in which he believed
    Attempting to live something intangible
    Something even he realises he cant let go
    But in the end he might aswell go and say fuck it
    Still rotting his life away in a bionic rust bucket.
    test
  6. Mic-illaH

    Mic-illaH aka paisano

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    425
    Pertain2Life: Cool little story here, it was a easy read so that is a plus. Flow was a little choppy at some points, but for the most part it was straight - nothing to complex but it worked with your story line. I thought you could have been a little more descriptive in the attack and all of that - but it good. Decent drop.


    Soull: I am not sure what you were attempting to do with this. It seems a little rushed, and you saiid you keyed it so that makes sense. I am guessing it is about a man that lives a life of crime that is dreaming of living a normal life......but he doesn't want to let it go because with this life of crime comes a sense of power, even though its a shitty life? That's my guess........I really like the idea and it could have been great if you developed and got more into it. Flow was choppy but had potential...good for a key.


    V/ Pertain2Life - Story was told better, better flow and mechanics. Soull had potential and a great concept but seemed rush.
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  7. Jai-Z

    Jai-Z Bangem, Jai

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    Overall this battle was pretty wack. Pertain told a rather simple yet boring story. That was pretty awkward at times that had weak twists pertaing to his neighbor walking in on them with a rather dull or unimaginative wording. Soull put no effort into his verse and hada hell of a time trying to stay on topic. So, VOTE=PERTAIN, for atleast trying.
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  8. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

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    another one sider ..

    Pertain - as with another match .. the length of your piece verses your opponents is what wins this for you .. as for your verse .. it rushed through the story quite quickly .. a frantic pace of storytelling that left out details and imagery .. somewhat simplistic but in general I didn't really get bored reading it .. (didn't have time to lol) .. not a bad verse but plenty of scope for improvement ..

    Soull - well you knew when posting that you weren't going to win this one .. but we appreciate you showing .. hopefully you can remember next week and try and stay in this tournament ..

    Vote = Pertain
    test
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