~Rock Bottom~

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Mind~$oul, Jun 6, 2003.

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  1. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    Malik, aint shit
    Malik, you aint shit
    Malik, you will never be shit

    Dont tell me something I already know...
    I aint shit
    This my rock bottom...

    Born from a
    crack fiend's womb
    soaked in her virgin
    blood...
    18 years later streets
    call me the devil's
    son...
    cause i walk with red eyes
    and have no heart
    to claim of...
    blood drenched with stale
    her-ron (heroin)
    i made love too
    the drug...
    Omnipotence
    had me feeling i was
    above all...
    i was dyin with
    nobody to
    call...
    dyin i said
    i was...
    not eating, not sleeping
    unsterile needles giving me
    pneumonia...
    neglectin the only
    thing i
    loved...
    The eyes of
    Cionna...
    How i wished
    she was blind...
    she was to innocent
    to witness...
    painful shit
    like this...
    she wasnt suppose
    to see me
    playing russian roulette...
    Telling her
    "This is the end..."
    Before i passed out
    a pull away from blasting the pain
    out my head
    waking up to
    piss and shit in my
    bed...
    i knew
    then...
    that this is when
    withdrawal
    shall begin...
    i went through a
    painful experience...
    passin out from the pain
    my mind was delirious

    April 9 2001
    was the last day
    i made love...
    to lady her-ron...
    after watching my best friend
    OD with death in his
    arm...
    but sadly my pain
    lives on...
    This is my Rock Bottom

    i did this awhile ago, it was originally a keystyle. Me and lpoet was suppose to do a collab on it but he figured it was best if i did it myself...hope yall enjoy

    one luv
    test
  2. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2002
    Messages:
    37,722
    i liked the first three lines because well YOU KNOW.......
    nah in all honesty this was an emotional piece......i never really know what to say about these sort of things really........Major Props for stopping though.......youre a strong person.....this piece takes the reader to that deep dark place that manifests itself in addictions.....much love boon
    test
  3. Infonation

    Infonation Info for the Nation

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Messages:
    1,016
    i made love too
    the drug...

    That about some's up your pain in this piece. Lov the personification used in this quote, i can apply this shit to some bad days of mine. Thanks for sharin, this passage made me feel better, now i can sleep. ^Peace
    test
  4. Gemini_TwIIn

    Gemini_TwIIn a.k.a. Sydephex

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2003
    Messages:
    61
    This was my favourite piece, I could almost feel the pain, a very emotional piece. Keep it up!


    One
    test
  5. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
    Messages:
    869
    Your voice helps me feel the same pain as you do, when I actually read it as close as I can, with as much focus, as possible. I read it over twice and found it being one, deep piece that I still am dwelling on the fact that he shared something such as this with us. Very nice "keystyle" of a piece, found it being one of your best works so far from what I've seen, at least. My blessings..
    test
  6. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    brillant piece....i think it better that u did this piece yourself and without me collabin

    up
    test
  7. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest

    Hey , You know I've always liked your pieces..

    Your words were lovely and they were so smooth too..Yet so meaninful and harsh..harsh emotions ....Interesting.


    "neglectin the only
    thing i
    loved..."

    It may seem like I should quote the other lines that come before or after this one..but this alone just really ..stood out to me. You know? Good stuff..

    Take care.
    test
  8. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    thanks for the love

    uppin one last time
    test
  9. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2002
    Messages:
    3,706
    i'm speechless- i've read this a few times and still didnt know what to reply. this was just powerful.you have a way of making the read feel it and this put me right there with you.as always mind-awesome^
    test
  10. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2000
    Messages:
    26,748
    this as very real...hit the reader with the truth..and i like the way you set it up to be read. excellent job.
    test
  11. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Messages:
    1,734
    Dayum!!! I don't even feel like I'm worthy to reply to this....So I'll come back tomorrow and do so.
    test
  12. SIZZLA

    SIZZLA New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 1999
    Messages:
    7,907
    raw joint... its real. aint no best line to it as people love to say (even me) as it was complete from start to finish... all lines compliment one another and thats what makes a poem. great story, conclusion, dept, realness, and thats what make a poem eternal and non-personal....
    test
  13. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Messages:
    1,734
    Without a doubt this is unquestionably my favorite shit from you...I'ma come back and read it again later.
    test
  14. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2001
    Messages:
    950
    "How i wished
    she was blind...
    she was to innocent
    to witness...
    painful shit
    like this...
    she wasnt suppose
    to see me
    playing russian roulette..."


    ~Mind you have a way with imagery. its like you own it. you control it. and it obeys you and displays what you are telling it to.. articulated, convey, displayed and presented - all those things you did an aweseome job with.
    test
  15. very powerfull. It was fleeting, violent and i was feeling it the most when you desribed the russian roulette and how showing the scene to someone was claiming ones innocence..one of my favourites by you..

    p
    e
    a
    cE
    test
  16. Atmosphera

    Atmosphera New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2003
    Messages:
    77
    See I Read This A While Ago I Felt That My Reply Would Not Do Justice To The Script.....

    Now I Sit And With Knowing More About You Feel The Reality & Need For Poetry. You Came Real Always Will Come Real & Respect To You.

    I Loved It - But You Already Know That
    test
  17. UnknownLady

    UnknownLady Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2001
    Messages:
    818
    Mind~$oul this piece was well written. It took a while for me to reply to it but I finally did. This is a heartfelt piece and you exressed your very well in this piece. You are a strong preson so don't let nobody say otherwise. And believe it or not you are something and somebody and don't let anyone tell you other wise. You were strong enough to quit and overcome it so that makes you a hero and admirer (sp). And I just want to say I am very proud of you. Great job on this piece, but then again when do you not do a great job period. Get at me. I am out.

    One Luv!
    test
  18. 6ftground

    6ftground BLACKACE/GRIMREADER

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2003
    Messages:
    2,066
    It felt like-read like a J-z piece..but I felt you verbage in this joint...i enjoyed it....great read one!
    test
  19. PERTAiN2LiFE

    PERTAiN2LiFE sheesh the rapper

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    176
    Really nice piece.
    test
  20. Alpha1234

    Alpha1234 New Member

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    5
    i enjoyed it....great read one!
    test
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