[RD2] 9. ShadowWarriorfs vs 10. T.a.C vs 11. TheInkwell

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Jun 19, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,203

    [​IMG]

    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent. Failure to acknowledge an extension request results in it being granted.
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default. A no show in the tourney will result in elimination.
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory. A failure to post voting links will result in a loss.
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Monday @ 8:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you still must vote on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match!!! You WILL lose if you dont.
    •Voting is open until matches are closed. Deadlines are flexible!!!
    •Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    test
  3. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,203
    man, i dont wanna send you two packing.
    test
  4. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2011
    Messages:
    736
    I hope you two arent too bitter after this. >=]
    test
  5. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689

    [​IMG]
    "Sometimes you have to find the beauty in the darkest of places"



    A Symphony of Hope



    *tap tap tap*


    Broken silence interrupts the tea and crumpets
    A subtle defiance rings in like a sea of trumpets
    Waves echoing throughout the once warm room
    Bones startled as if the percussions hit too soon
    The booms of violence disrupts the calm air
    Bodies frozen as strength hides behind a chair
    Sharp pangs surface as if our skin kissed a thistle
    Panics grows with every bell, every whistle
    We watch as the orchestra continued its invasion
    Spreading chaos without hopes of persuasion
    The lights of dawn illustrated by the strokes of their drums
    As dark colors paint terror on the faces of our sons
    Eardrums in harmony with the explosions of sound
    Rekindling the fires that once haunted our town

    Suddenly the music stopped as father walked the streets
    Like a solo violinist not afraid to follow his own beats
    His bow struck the strings as peace filled our hearts
    Slowly trying to remove the invaders from these parts
    His movements quickened as their ears heard his voice
    “Fire!” They yelled in panic as if they had no choice
    Father was hit in the stomach but continued to play
    “Again! Again! Again!” they screamed hoping he would stay
    He did, lying motionless on the dusty terrain, then
    Silence followed as the clouds felt pity and rained in
    But they finally withdrew, leaving us with their battle cries
    Families enter the streets revealing their rattled eyes
    The hums of their tanks fade into blustery wind
    We surround our fallen hero, a man now cleansed of sin
    His final breaths dance with the air as the curtains close on his act
    The clatter of applause brings tears to anyone who had not clapped
    As the maestro of time turns to his angels and takes his bow
    With a tear in his eye as father stand with him now
    We gather together with love in our hearts and pray
    Hoping he can still hear us chanting, Happy Father’s Day…


    test
  6. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,203
    We breed murders, locked up in our presidio
    I’m sure by now you’ve seen the Luka Magnotta video
    We teach who to target, how to build trust
    And how a knife can remove guts with a single thrust
    But, what fun comes with doing it quick, pursuing a vict.
    For weeks, plotting and plotting to be done in a crick
    Of the neck, c’mon, that shits retarded
    And we only have one rule…anyone can be a target
    Anyone can be next, anyone can bleed and plead
    Families can lead a team to search, but’ll need a breed
    Of bloodhound that can trace a sent complete
    Around the world, we ship body parts all around the country
    Or other ones, we also do good deeds, we’re no hate mongers
    Sending body parts to poor nations to help world hunger
    We’re just a sick and twisted cult, with followers and fandom
    Our goals are open, kill if you have a prejudice or kill at random
    Luka killed out of racism, Richard Chase at the luck of the draw
    As long as the death is graphic, we give a fuck what they saw
    And if they gain fame, that’s an even bigger perk
    The Zodiac killer was a goldmine, books, movies, the works
    Manson gets letters daily, and has a gang of fans
    Youtube showing videos of his crazy ass made him a famous man
    Or, more famous to a younger generation they say
    All I know, for us, Youtube has led to a large pay day


    You see, with each new serial killer the media eats it up
    Yahoo starts buzzing, CNN is live on the scene, yup
    People stop talking about the war, completely shocked, in fear
    Watching their tv until they’re captured, then lot’s will cheer
    They follow every detail, sick, twisted, everything they did
    And then when they grow older, they pass the story to their kid
    They tell their friends, and the younger generation has interest
    The killers are our puppets, they come to us and show intrust
    We make them famous, especially if their crime was heinous
    And as a return for our exploitation, the public comes and pays us
    See, I’m not part of a dark union, I’m sure that’s what you expect
    But truthfully, I’m a suit, I’m just a Hollywood exec.
    We make films based off murders, it’s become what we reckon a game
    Cause these “killers” want attention, we give them 15 seconds of fame
    Initiation in this cult? We don’t do beatdowns, those can be gory
    All we ask is you brutally murder someone, make it a sweet story
    We’ll do the rest, while you’re under arrest til you fuckin’ hang
    See, you’re just a pawn to the higher ups, like any other gang
    But you don’t follow the patterns and act like you had no knowledge
    That what we do is exploit you so I can send my son to college
    So thank you, Sorry to rush, but I have to put a close on this scene
    But before I go I just want to say…Luka Magnotta’s flick drops in 2015


    [​IMG]
    test
  7. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2011
    Messages:
    736
    [​IMG]

    Identity Crisis

    The gentle beeps coax him awake from his morphine graced state
    Bliss staked claim by way of IV, droplets of life condensate
    Reporters crowd around the glass of the observation room
    Flashes of cameras… like lightning… sours his mood
    Lightning…


    There was lightning that night, outside the mansion where I stayed
    With parents and my twin brother, sharing a bed as we laid
    Down, I couldn’t sleep, but I feigned drifting away
    An act I often played, until the sheep no longer grazed
    But from the borders of my rest, felt my brother leave his place
    Blackness. And then sirens… Blood. Me outside in my PJs
    PJs or… hospital gown…

    Hazed eyes see security wrestling away those with media ties
    All is silent, except the respirator that rasps a lullaby
    His brown orbs roll skyward, the room lighting flickers
    He braces himself for the thunder…
    Eyes shut, he remembers…


    “Let’s play somewhere fun,” and then I saw him pull the trigger
    Six times to make sure, he canvased me with blood splatter
    A Pollock portrait to frame the morbid scene of the newly orphaned
    He smiled crooked, a Cheshire kitten, and held out to me the weapon
    And dragged me to that cross strewn yard our parents don’t let us go
    But they’re growing heavy with death’s progress, so they won’t know…
    “Here is perfect, don’t miss,” my trembling hands secure the steel grip
    My eyes ask why he’s doing this, my voice seems to have lost its pitch
    He smirks and presses a finger to his forehead “Now… aim right here”
    I shake my head, but then… Thunder. A flicker of light. Canvas smeared.
    But it feels so good…?

    The nurse wiped off his sweat with a damp rag and a frown
    “Poor child, to lose his whole family…” furrowed her brow
    He cried silently, buried in his grief, he had lost his speech
    Unable to confide or communicate the comfort he needs
    The nurse kissed her fingers and placed it on his forehead
    Eyes widening, he shrieked, nearly animated the dead
    It felt too familiar…


    I pressed my finger to my forehead, told him not to miss
    He was trembling, had goose bumps like plucked chicken skin
    Shut my eyes and grinned, finally the finale to my grim
    Game, we’re twins anyway, I take the gun from him and aim
    A flash of light that’s Zeus-like, thunder, and a life claimed
    I watched him collapse to the ground, ripples in the mud
    I’m bleeding, slowly leaving, he looks so demonically smug
    I smile and wipe off the gun, toss it, and lay by his side
    I watch him ditch the gun and lay down to mock me as I die

    “Are you okay?!” The nurse exclaimed, trying to shake him awake
    A burst of strength, he shoved her off, fingers dig into his face
    Checking himself, he possessed all the scars his brother once had
    His mind peered through the lens of both brothers and cracked


    You see, the best liars master the art of deceiving themselves
    He wanted to kill as a demon, but forsake the haunts of hell
    But when you smudge too many lines, you forget what they depict
    And the frame just becomes wood… stretching some fabric
    test
  8. Ravenous510

    Ravenous510 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2009
    Messages:
    3,474
    Woooooooow.....

    This was a really dope battle, tbh...

    None of these verses came off like rap verses, but I'm starting to see that most of you guys aren't really trying to write rap verses anyway, so...

    Yeah, man....

    ShadowWarrior:

    Your verse was really strong, man...really dope...it was short and sweet and I actually enjoy shorter written verses...I really liked the subject matter...no complex rhyming but that's fine because your verse, (as well as the other two verses), are much more poetic...

    T.a.C.:

    I thought you took a really creative angle on the picture you chose for a topic, but I just didn't care for your haphazard rhyming...I mean...I know this league is more poetry based, but you just came off, (in some places), like you were just throwing in rhyming words with no real forethought....I dunno...the subject matter was dope, though, and like I said, the angle was dope..****finitely a fun read...

    TheInkwell:

    Really dope verse, man....I enjoyed reading it.....it's poetry but possesses a certain degree of flow, which I can appreciate....your subject matter was dope, but the angle is a little played, (the whole personality disorder angle has been severely over-used by Hollywood, etc), but I did enjoy your take on it, as well as the anecdotal moral you provided at the end of the verse....I always dig people offering the wisdom of their years on this planet for others to interpret...overall, great read and great verse, man!...

    Vote: TheInkwell
    test
  9. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2002
    Messages:
    4,146
    shad:
    This is a lot stronger than most of your other pieces in many ways. The metaphor was more potent and ran through the whole verse smoothly. Your vocab was a lot more mature and the actual structure of the piece was put together on a more advanced level than usual.. I really enjoyed this piece, very poetic which you don’t normally do so it was good to see you pull it off.. The inner story of a fallen leader was portrayed nicely and you tapped on the brutality of war. Nice one governor.

    TAC:
    What I love about this piece is your writer’s voice, its original and its all you. Your vocab isn’t strong but its authentic like you are telling me a story in person. Flow was ok, yah know some stretched lines but it’s all good. Story itself was cool Magnotta’s tale is amusing so im glad you put your usual dark comic spin to it.. All in all this was a decent drop.

    Ink:
    Structure moulded together with hot vocab which really made this piece shine. I was right into the parts where the main character is describing life in the asylum.. Nice.. I like the fact you described in high detail this deep seeded darkness. In the verse you displayed a great concept of your characters background and future by using strong physical and emotional description. The twisted metaphor at the end explaining the character is nothing more than a blank canvas now was a very nice touch. . Sweet work mate.

    vote =
    1: Inkwell
    2: Shadow
    3: TAC

    Great match guys, I think Ink just delved into his character more which created more emotion in the piece.
    test
  10. Kuja

    Kuja Jack Skellington

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    404
    Shadow - One of the best pieces ive seen from you if im been honest.
    Flow was on point for the most and you used some great imagery.
    Look forward to seeing more verses like this from you.

    Tac - Cool verse also, seemed to go for the factual real life type
    of story. flow was nice, as was the imagery. If im been honest tho
    it didnt really grip me too much but on the whole still a decent verse.

    Inkwell - Very nice verse, it had me gripped from the start, i loved how
    dark it felt, had me thinking of the type of story people may read in
    the candle light of a powercut lol. Couple of times the flow felt a
    little bit stretched but nothing major.


    Overall i got ink taking this for an overall better piece imo


    Vote - Inkwell
    test
  11. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    Ink wins 3-0
    test
  12. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,203
    Dink...er...I mean, Ink wins
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)