[RD1] 27. TeKneeK vs 28. TheInkwell

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Jun 11, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

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  2. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

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  3. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

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    [​IMG]

    You always wear the same dress that steers me crazy
    Draped off your shoulder, sheer, like a wet bed sheet
    White lilac shimmering with your golden hair under the spotlight
    Puppet master fingers, fluttering ‘cross a bed of black and white
    But me?.. I’m forgotten as soon as the song is done
    And you walk off to applause and places I haven’t gone

    But why, why can’t you stay, we can meet at the nearest rest
    Sprint through the slopes of quarter notes, intermingle clefs
    So don’t leave me, touch me, send vibrations through my strings
    You really know how to push my buttons, leave your prints on ivory
    I’ve loved you since you could barely press my petals with your toes
    Now you’re older, still you draw that melodic warmth from my throat
    So now I gotta ask you this… do you still have love for me or none?
    ‘Cause you got me pulling limbs off flowers like Attila the Hun
    Sarah, fully blossomed, you fly off beyond my last measure
    Playing music I don’t know at Walt Disney’s concert theatre
    I thought we were writing something special, were you just playing me?
    That isn’t right, you're my life, so come back, sincerely

    Yamaha
    test
  4. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    Inkwell Wins Via No Show

    Long Enough for critique,... Please vote on battles inkwell
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  5. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    uppin for critique
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  6. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

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    vocab is sweet dude, the puppet master line was the shit.. Decent verse you made it very poetic but at the same amusing cause her piano is talking to her.. lol its like bitch ima sad piano you get your ass back here and play or i just might kill myself.. dope drop..
    test
  7. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    nice drop for a no show drop... could tell you were holding back a little..

    i really like your use of the metaphor... puppet master fingers... i dunno... it just grabbed me

    looking forward to seeing you against some competition
    test
  8. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    Nice drop Ink. the delivery was consistant, the story tho is what really transpires your talent and nack for the RSTL. I loved the usage of imagery, sorta European country-esque. the connection between the woman and the piano tho, that was brilliant. nicely done. my only suggestion is to try to use more rhyme assonance.
    test
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