RBL Mag Issue 2 Volume 1

Discussion in 'Rapmusic.com Battle League' started by Brown Jesus, Mar 28, 2012.

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  1. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

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    RBL Mag 3/28

    Introduction

    Another good week is in the books! I want to thank all of you for showing to your battles, well, almost all of you. A lot of new faces this week, so my Preview might suck :cry:. I'm going to make the Recap more an avenue for feedback, though; its going to be like a really good vote, let me know how you like it. Interviews will start next week, as well, beginning with the HNIC, T.a.C.; I'm gonna see if we can't get some ideas when we get some dialogue going. Once again, thank's for showing and voting, I hope you enjoy The Mag.
    test
  2. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

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    The New "Recap"

    Tbone vs Bruce Lerone

    I read your verses and my first thought for Bruce was improving the rhymes. They can sound awkward when the flow demands a multi and you deliver mono-syllabics. For example:

    The rhymes were too simple. I'm not advocating overly complex rhyme patterns, but it helps to smooth the flow and readability of your verse.
    As far as content, the 7 days/week/weak wordplay has been done to death. I think a good way to get better at this is to play with clichés/idioms. While they have been played out, too, they can almost always be flipped nicely.

    Tbone, I liked the rhyme schemes you used, the flow was smoother, but there were spots. My thing with your verse is that sometimes the wordplay was a stretch:

    I'm probably an idiot, and feel free to PM me, but I don't get this at all, rhyme scheme was cool, though.
    I got the BMW wordplay, a few lines later, but I think it was a little forced. Not sure how I would fix it, though. All in all, you tbone this on concepts.
    test
  3. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

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    LP vs Gee Willikers

    LP, where to start? I think you can have decent enough concepts, but your wording is usually pretty bad. When it's good, though, it is nice. E.g.:

    First couplet was more of a setup for the second, than a stand alone punch. This was nice, though, I like the dig.

    But a lot of your verse had forced/stretched wordplays. E.g..:

    I don't see how the first is a diss. The second was forced, as mentioned in the thread. As far as the third one, its a stretch mainly because there was a disconnect with the 3/tri wordplay. I think it's too simple conceptually, but that isn't always a bad thing.

    G dubs, that opener was forced, but I can dig it conceptually. Most of your verse was good and executed well. Your wording gets the job done, and sometimes its pretty damn good.

    Good shit! The Peyton line was a little forced, but it was good. I can see you making some noise in the league, keep it up.

    As I mentioned in my vote, Gee just had much better wording and his concepts hit harder because of that.
    test
  4. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

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    Breathlesss vs Jai Z

    Breathless, man, that closer made me weak. Other than that, though, not a very punchy verse. Wow @ the Sandra Bullock line, though, that shit made me lmao, too; not in a good way, though lol. Breathless writes comedy verses, just not in our normal setup-punch format. I can dig his style, but sometimes your setups seem like filler because they're so loooooooooong. But, yeah, I usually dig a few lines in your battles. Liked that jerking your chain sequence too.

    Jai had a decent verse. She uses the proto-typical setup-punch style, and it works well for her. Some of those lines were kinda blah, but she packs a lot more punches into her verses than Breathless does, so she can do that. From a completely stylistic point of view, I don't understand your line breaks. The three line punch wasn't really necessary, since it read like two liners; specifically, early in your verse. GL in the Champ match.
    test
  5. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

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    Brown Jesus vs John Hensley

    I personally think this was battle of the week. I really liked my dead lift and closing lines. A lot of times I like to string similar punches together and make a scheme out of the same idea. It lets me really play with a punchline, but it can be repetitive, too.

    Hensley dropped another dope verse; he had some nice concepts, and his wording was pretty solid as usual. This is really what sets average guys from the greats; they flip punches for the most impact everytime.
    Hensley's consistent hard punches took this battle... easily. Clearly VotW

    :cry:
    test
  6. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

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    T.a.C vs PharCyze

    No show win

    :cry:

    T.a.C hasn't had to really do anything since he signed in. He has effectively been no-showed for 2 weeks. He had a few nice punches in his verse.*

    Nice! T.a.C better have been saving up his dope punches these last few weeks, though! Lmaooooooooooooooo
    test
  7. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

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    Preview

    T.a.C vs John Hensley

    T.a.C by a landslide. No, really, John will beat the brakes off T.a.C

    :dead:

    Jai Z vs Gee Willikers

    This will be good, Gee has the punches to roll, so lets see what happens. I think Jai's experience will push her into the Champ match.

    tbone vs Brown Jesus

    I think I'm gonna win every week... so... yeah. I'm sure tbone will bring it, though.

    Breathless vs lyricalpriest

    I think this will be good. I have my ideas on situations where either guy could win. Kind of like a shootout vs grinding out a W. This is two completely different styles facing off this week.

    Bruce Lerone vs -MV-

    I've only seen -MV- in the battle forum.m, but I thought he did alright. If Bruce takes my advice, this will be good. I think -MV- pulls it out... if he shows.

    :cry:

    Please show =)

    Holla Hutch vs SanerHxS

    Completely new faces to me. Good luck and give me something to base a preview on =)
    test
  8. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

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    Last Weeks Highlights

    First Off, ima kick yo ass -N- this isn't kung-fu
    I'ma Son you,
    ........like i studied the "art of war" by: sun tzu
    last week my heaters went unseen this rounds honorable mention
    because the first thing i learned was the art of wars based on deception
    LP

    Ya girls a fat fuck, damaging plates on dates its outstanding
    You ‘PeyTons’ in liability for that bucking ‘Bronco’ your ‘Manning’
    Gee Willikers

    last week showed this panzy jumps in when the RBL lower in standings
    Lil bitch sucking blood out of this league in its twilight like Dakota Fanning
    Gee Willikers

    you're lucky illiterate ducked ya in that charmin' little rival match of picture filth...
    Shit nucka, I never knew chris tucker starred in a micheal jackson tribute film
    Breathlesss

    thought Id see Brown if I forfeit.
    ..getting you's The Hangover, me facing the toilet.
    Jai Z

    And thats real shit..
    ..nigga, Im just speaking truthfully;
    and I only call you a bitch, bcz you remind me of what I use to be.
    Jai Z

    We're both Northwest cats, so we know where the fire is,
    Not ya verses, though,
    Hens only Dohpe for having a lot of that inside of him,
    Brown Jesus

    I don’t usually put icons in my verses, but its too true
    That the way you stay name droppin me only proves that you do
    T.a.C

    Punchline of the Week

    PharCyze's incredible, up the ass, 360° no show after...

    :dead:

    Verse of the Week
    test
  9. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

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    Outro: Mind of Menso

    I am stupid high right now; finished the last few sections and threw some BHO on some bong rips... wooooooow. I don't have.much to say here since you all did your job. Keep it up!

    Don't forget to post your links!

    Hope you enjoyed The Mag
    test
  10. Holla Hutch

    Holla Hutch New Member

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    test
  11. SanerHxS

    SanerHxS HxS/Gateway Tonez

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    BHO >

    nice shit...havent seen a text mag in a while.
    test
  12. SanerHxS

    SanerHxS HxS/Gateway Tonez

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    BHO >

    nice shit...havent seen a text mag in a while.
    test
  13. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

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    Word, I've been fucking with that wax from the local dispensary, too, and that shit blows me away. A buddy has some BHO, though, so I'm not paying 60/g for the time being; kinda bums me out lol.
    test
  14. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

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    P.S. Thanks for the support, gentleman!
    test
  15. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    what an enjoyable BJ
    test
  16. john hensley

    john hensley 7xRBL

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    nice job man, keep up the good work
    test
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