Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by GaLaTeA, Mar 6, 2013.
...but absolutely none deserve a third one.
I dunno. I"m the forgive and forgive and forgive over and over type. Third, forth, fifth chances and then some all around.
^^^even with being cheated on??
Even with being cheated on. To be sure though, that's how I roll is all. If I was with a man or woman who cheated on me, I'd be forgiving about it. I would not be so presumptuous to impose such an ideal on anyone else's relationships.
So you'd let some chick suck his dick on the regular? hmm
Probably. But perhaps I'm missing something. What is the exact scenario in question?
If you let a man continuously cheat on you, that says a lot about you tho. That's what i'm saying
Fool me once your fault,fool me twice my fault.
Nobody deserves 2nd chance.
Cheating is one of those things. It's villified and the perpetuators are deemed evil without redemption. I find this sad because I CHOOSE to believe in the inherent goodness of humans.
My conclusions may be flawed, and are certainly up to scrutiny. But I've learned a thing or two about cheating. People cheat for reasons. Even when that reason is for no reason.
The first and worst case is because of no reason. Usually, more often than not, alcohol is involved. This is more or less a case of a human making a dumb choice. People make dumb choices though, that's what makes humans so cute. If I was with a human who did that with me, they would deserve a stern talking to, and we can put it behind us. Keep in mind though, that a random bad choice does not equate serial cheating.
The second reason is when there is a reason. The reason of their being something wrong with the relationship. When that is acknowledged, this is a good thing, because it can be worked out. Whatever the problems are, they can be discussed and worked over until made better. In this situation, the cheating is a symptom to a much larger issue. If I was with a human who cheated on me because we had issues in our relationship, I feel that working things out would make the relationship even stronger. Or... we would discover our differences are irreconcilable. In which case, the relationship is terminated on mutual grounds.
Now, the third reason is trickier. This is when there are mismatched libidos in the bedroom. When one person wants an unnatural amount of sex,or when one person is no longer interested in sex. The person doing the cheating in this case should most certainly not be considered a bad person, and more often than not is the most sympathetic of cheaters. It can also be one of the most difficult to resolve for some relationships. Myself, I can see myself being a lot less interested in sex than I would be with whatever partner I'm with. I have, though, been in a relationship with a human that had a hyperlibido. The greatest difficulty however wasn't keeping up with this person, but rather the emotional side of it in which I felt I wasn't being acknowledged as a sentient being. This was sad. In the future, should I find myself no longer interested in sexual aspect of a relationship, there is no reason why whatever partner I'm with could not satisfy their sexual needs with another human being. This would be an open relationship, or more preferably monogomish.
Now, this is where enters in the relationship someone being accepting of a third (or more) sexual partners. Here's the thing to keep in mind, such relationships are not doomed to fail. The scientific fact is that humans aren't designed for monogomy. And relationships that are more open do tend to last just as long and be just as strong.
The difference is consent. If I was with a human who slept with someone else without my knowing, that would be cheating. If, however, they talked to me first and had my permission, that would not be cheating. My personal feelings regarding this though are that I simply would not want to be in a monogamous relationship in the first place. I would not want to be with someone that doesn't understand how openness is beneficial.
Sometimes, not very often though, there is another reason people cheat. This reason being that... their sociopathic assholes who don't care who they hurt. I would by no means expect anyone to stay with such a person.
Again, this is up for scrutiny. This is only my conclusions based on my observations.
wow just sum it up in like 3 sentences. We arent book reading exper....ts
@AliceHouse i know why people cheat but i was specifically talking about you. You said you would forgive someone constantly cheating on you. Which is what i was asking about
I was like that with friends...no matter how bad it got, or what was the issue, I've always kept "perhaps they'll change/grow from it" in mind..
But when a line gets crossed which is along the lines of the point of no return, I'll forgive and forget them. Trim the fat.
its ok to trim the fat, but to hold grudges and stay angry isnt so healthy.
its quite alright to continue to be nice to your enemies.
I don't hold grudges nor stay angry ~ once it's done, those people simply aren't a part of my life anymore.
the only kind of person that would think cheating is acceptable the way this person is talking about it must be one that's cheated in the past
i refuse to believe you can sit there going 'its okay, lets move past it' every single time.
id fire my gf if she cheated quickfast.
id rather take my chances never finding mrs right than marrying a cheat.
i know what i want and im gonna get it
Separate names with a comma.