Rapmusic.com Battle League Lounge Wk1

Discussion in 'Rapmusic.com Battle League' started by KroniK, Jul 20, 2011.

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  1. Jai-Z

    Jai-Z Bangem, Jai

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    In the U.S... we say Notting-Ham, Britz say, Notting-Em. Itz jst accentz.

    For instantz: Britz, put imaginary R's n the word "Ass",when the wordz pronounced Eh-S.

    Dont fault us, bcz our difference of pronounciationz.

    MRjdjm.. to diss your Queen.. is to diss our president. Whom you and your country hold sacrid. The Croquet line, soccer, tea and crumpetz is what your entire country and nativez are known for. He dissed your country, your nationality and almost everything you stood for. When he was talking bout the English Channel? Ddnt have nothing to do wth BBC tv. Lol

    If you said "American" after dissing our country ie Twin Towers, Statue Of Liberty, talking about our country being n debt... while tying him to it n a clever way.. it would b not only dissing him, but shitting on our country n general. Idk bud, could b different views of severity.

    For example:

    If a white man walks into the NAACP and calls 1 man a NlGGER, why does 30 men and women jump on him? He may have directed his anger towardz 1 black man.. but he offended the entire race and ppl that heard him saying it. Yamean? You have small ripples and big ripples. Thatz a big ripple.
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  2. Mrjdm998

    Mrjdm998 New Member

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    My argument was he didn't diss the country, he jsut said he'd kill some random people unrelated to me at all except for country and shit in the ocean. Arse and ass is difefrent because they're different words. Nottingham is a name of a place so pronounciation doesn't come into it. Even then, it's not insulting me at all.

    Not really. I'm not from Nottingham, nobody in england cares about the queen for the most part and don't care about a river. You're mixing up insulting me for being English and linking his threats to England.
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  3. smittyrhythm

    smittyrhythm you love 2 hate me

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    Ok, lets look at this for a moment Jai-z

    Lets start by giving props to the ill for coming at me so personally, probably the most personal since my battle with Grams way back. Most to read that verse had me at a loss before I even dropped, so to come back to a 3-1 lead against that verse is nothing less than exceptional.

    It isnt the vote that concerns me. Even the prole who gave his vote to ill stated, and I quote:
    What concerns me is your ability to read and intereperet lyrics. You're a speed-reader, I can tell.

    For you to say my verse was terrible only goes to show that these other four readers are seeing something that you dont. For one you didnt see the nameplays in what you described as a 'weak concept and wordplay', you didnt recognize the nameplays because you werent looking. Same with the following nameplay immediately after, you didnt see it and just dismissed everything as "terrible" (dont pretend like you see them now because your critique of those bars clearly show that you didnt catch them in your first read)

    then I see shit like this:

    'Triple-round burst' when I flex the trigger from just '1-shot', I'm a steady killer
    You'll see his center get hit with 3 (the'lll'iterate) like he tried to d-up on Reggie Miller
    Terrible nameplay? Wow

    I'll put my 'two cents in ya face' to replace the iris X from off 'deth lids' X-(
    And after I 'cross his eyes' out ill-literature skills progressed to 'Dyslexic'
    Do you even get it??? It has alot to do with the bars in my battle with Deth that you pissed all over (Im unsure if you even understood those)

    Speakin of 'X' his time-table sloppy and the clock has obviously stopped
    So I'll multi-task from apostrophe's to the properties of numerology- watch:
    Actually no it isnt random filler, its a point of showing him how to produce multiples in a verse, a strength I was emphasizing that he lacked..they werent setup-punch bars, they followed into the punches that were in accordance with the rhyme scheme...

    geeeeeeez :rolleyes: smh

    You seemed to only be involved in bashing my vesre for the sake of bashing it. I mean really Jai-z, are you so "superior" in your writing as to suggest that these other four readers are idiots and that youre on some sort of tier of expertise? Im sorry Jai-z, but you are not that good and you are certainly in no position to say "Im getting better" :funny: better than what Jai-z, YOU???

    Im gonna have to start dumbing my verses down to get a vote from you.
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  4. TheIlliterate

    TheIlliterate Well-Known Member

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    hahahah i had no idea this is what the RBL was about ^
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  5. smittyrhythm

    smittyrhythm you love 2 hate me

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    It isnt. I'm a league of its own. :crazy:

    Dont get me wrong I accept her opinion and her vote but sometimes I dont think she gets my style or the way I write...


    You just bought your 'noose' and you 'against the ropes' from a 'solid-drop' you can 'knot-produce'
    Let me introduce you from an ill-taught dusche to name & wordplays for their 'prop or use':
    This is not intended to be a direct-punch, its setting up a theme for the verse but at the same time it still relates..notice the : and the break of the verse, I wanted to illustrate certain things at the beginning and I had to stay within rhyme scheme if I was going to get away with it..my introduction is a complete set-up of what I wanted to do: Make the verse into a learning session about multiples, name and wordplay. This is why I went over-board on the nameplays to the point of exaggeration, it's flex it's to make a point.

    same for the "random filler" bars at the end of my verse, the first two-bars of the rhyme scheme ARE the set-up as it carries on to the next two punches (what you thought as my strongest)

    I just want to make it clear that when I do this Im trying to stay in a consistant rhyme scheme, any1 can write a verse where the rhyme scheme changes every 2 bars but its when you can still make consistent punches while staying in that scheme, that's good writing.
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  6. Twinmania

    Twinmania Maybe we don't exist....

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    Nah, I have to disagree here, a few english jokes are cool and if aimed at the person then fine but randomly rhyming nottingham is not a personal unless the person is from nottingham (don't know if jdm is or not) like saying to you:

    I'll make you hella scared when I take away the health-a care from delaware.

    The Queen and the Royal family are not held sacred in this country, in fact I think you americans were more excited about the wedding than we were.
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  7. Extreme Venom

    Extreme Venom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    ^^ hell yea they were.. buying up the magazines & shit...









    lol Anywho.. Iight thunny's

    I just finished the rankings & I'm working on the Rules Reconfiguration then I'll be posting the Official week 16 lounge thread as well as the battles that will follow...


    All records for people already signed in the league have been retained, all wins and losses for the previous week will count toward all League members perm record.

    Heres a sneak peek at thr rankings as the stand right now:


    Week 16 Rankings:

    #1 HW Razputin 6-1
    #2 LW Champion Mrj 9-6
    #3 HWGK Ion Metatron 6-3
    #4 MW IAmBenT 5-3
    #5 MW The illiterate 3-3
    #6 MW TheProle 1-0
    #7 MW King John 1-0
    #8 MWGK smittyrythym 1-0
    #9 LW GrimaceMcgee 0-1
    #10 MW Dethstryque 0-1
    #11 LW NO SIR E 0-1


    New Entries...

    Surplus. 0-0
    Strikta 0-0
    Enlightened1 0-0
    KonviKt 0-0
    PopulationCtrl 0-0
    PerfectoUnoJr 0-0




    .
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  8. smittyrhythm

    smittyrhythm you love 2 hate me

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    who's middle-weight champ?

    oh shit nvrmd :funny:

    so what, do I get contendership into heavy-weight or do I gotta work my way thru the list?
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  9. TheIlliterate

    TheIlliterate Well-Known Member

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    Smitty you got the shaft worse than I did tbh, pause.
    That was a heavyweight #1 contender match... idk why they gave you middleweight.

    But you have to beat the HW gatekeeper (Ion) to become HW.
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  10. smittyrhythm

    smittyrhythm you love 2 hate me

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    Damn, aint that a bitch.

    Ion looks like you're up.
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  11. IAmBenT

    IAmBenT Eat a dick, faggot

    Joined:
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    1,356
    finally lets move this train along, love it.
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  12. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

    Joined:
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    This is the first time I've seen this and Jai said pretty much exactly my own thoughts. There is no way possible that those shots weren't personals,period. I'm from CA in the USA but if some British dude shot on NYC and the Twin Towers? I've been dissed because NYC and the Twin Towers are major symbols for the USA. You dissed my whole country.Especially if you said that if I didn't swear to bow down and obey you (pledge obeisance) you'd blow up Congress (Parliament),shoot and kill everyone who partook in Ameica's national past time (which is baseball in The States.I played baseball,you played soccer at some point in your life JDM don't front) with that "cock and blam ever soccer fan" and then if you said you took a shit in the lake near the Washington Memorial while reciting GOD SAVE THE QUEEN? I utterly dissed you and everyone in your country.Then if you called me rap's equivalent of some wakk pansy azz R&B pop sensation in my age bracket on top of that? Man there's no way that those aren't personals. They're just not THE SAME PLAYED OUT APPROACH to personals. People have the right to their opinion...but they are empirically incorrect and the evidence is in the bars I wrote and their definiton.You can't get no more right than being right.

    I lost to you for some of the same reasons that I lost to Jack. I can honestly and objectively say that I wrote the better verse overall...but other factors contributed to the votes reflecting a different reality. That's okay.Them's the breaks.

    I try to avoid this when I judge other people's bars by not only doing a bar-couplette by bar-couplette breakdown,I compare the bar-couplettes head on with what the other lyricist wrote at that same point in their bars. So here's what a breakdown on my battle with JDM would look like:


    JDM OPENER:

    "I'll start with the killer bars murk you without mis-used time
    So call this verse a pregnancy test, it makes the result clear with just a few lines"

    DETH OPENER:

    Chap look! One phat hook collapsed ya flat on ya back shook n bangs ya mane like I mag clapped ya hat til ya cap's cooked!
    In a scrap rook...all ya rhymes get fucked n murdered like I had snuff scene sex with ya rap book!


    I threw more punches,more varied approach,more visuals of at least equal caliber,and I had more creativity with better word selection. My first bar insulted/implied an insult to his nationality with the first word by calling him CHAP,went on with the street vicious punch knockout double wordplay gunplay simile combining knockout and murder. His first bar said: "I'm gonna hit you hard without wasting time".Mine was an attack.His was a setup. By content alone my first bar was better.

    His second bar evoked the imagery of the pregnancy test in a solid punch,but it wasn't a direct attack or even threatening. He said:"you'll clearly see whassup when I'm done". My second bar directly attacked him and his rap skill,saying that I'd fuck n murder his rhymes like snuff scene sex with his rap book. Clearly a much harder punch. No question Deth takes the opener by pure content of the bars.

    JDM

    (1)998 gave us Jay's Volume 2 and Aquemini
    But Deth's like "Fuck that, Can-I-Bus is the best thing I've heard in my life listen to the multi rhymes!"

    JDM is building what will be his theme now...diss Deth's multis and his martial arts. That is a good and funny idea...and this punch is decent. The first bar is meaningless because JDM is too young to have done anything like Jay's Volume 2 and JDM's style isn't like JAY-Z's and it certainly isn't like OUTKAST's style so Volume 2 and Aquemini are good ideas but poor word choice.They're not similar to JDM's style...but Can-I does bear some distinct resemblance to mine so give him props for that

    DETH

    You gotcha swag snook when 2 rounds ago I body bagged you n mounted ya head on a spike of sodding bamboo
    I left you slumped n asleep when I "punched lumps in ya beef". It's embarassin...an American "Nottingham'd//knotting hammed" you

    Direct fire. I did beat him in our previous battle and then I fired off a British diss plus evoked the imagery of putting his head on a spike,punching lumps in his beef for trying to battle and pointing out that it's embarassin to be smashed like this while USING A FAMOUS CITY FROM HIS OWN COUNTRY AS THE SOURCE OF THE PUNCH. Imagery vocab multis punch variety creativity metaphors personals wordplay and humor.This isn't close yet.

    Now here comes the best back to back 4 bars imho that JDM put together and I was lol when I read them:

    JDM:

    You probably own underwear with "real lyricist" woven into the back of it
    And I bet you wear a varsity jacket which says I heart multi-syllabics on the fabric
    You window licking spastic when you die your casket
    Will have "single syllables are for faggits" carved deep into the cheap plastic


    DETH

    My spit slits n shits on you like ya body shampoo is potty pan poo mixed with daggered quips so hazardous
    That you couldn't come back from Deth if Jesus of Nazareth taught you the Secrets of Lazarus
    Punches make you see stars like I plastered this bastard with brass knuckles crafted with asterisks
    JDM? I Casper'd that wakk nerd with wrath served tuh blaze yer wig like clapped nines

    No question that JDM's first bar:"You probably own underwear with "real lyricist" woven into the back of it" outperformed mine which was:

    "My spit slits n shits on you like ya body shampoo is potty pan poo mixed with daggered quips so hazardous"

    His bar was simpler and cleaner...not a bonus in and of themselves...but omg did he deliver a wicked,funny,direct hitting personal with that joint.Lol. Me like. In fact? He could have even swept the vocab cat in this bar because his word selection was precise clean and emphasized the punch.But nowhere else did he win:



    JDM:"And I bet you wear a varsity jacket which says I heart multi-syllabics on the fabric
    You window licking spastic when you die your casket
    Will have "single syllables are for faggits" carved deep into the cheap plastic

    vs DETH:

    That you couldn't come back from Deth if Jesus of Nazareth taught you the Secrets of Lazarus
    Punches make you see stars like I plastered this bastard with brass knuckles crafted with asterisks
    JDM? I Casper'd that wakk nerd with wrath served tuh blaze yer wig like clapped nines
    You called me gay? In AMERICA we blast dimes but CROCHET and GARDENING are England's favorite pastimes! (link)


    With the single exception of maybe JDM's "single syllables are for faggits carved deep into the cheap plastic" vs my "JDM? I Casper'd that wakk nerd with wrath served tuh blaze yer wig like clapped nines" written at that exact same bar count? I beat him with every bar. Creativity vocab multis imagery both general and personal punches metaphors and creativity creativity creativity.Literally compare what the bars say and what their content is,and let that be your guide. Here the PREFERENCE of people may have them lean toward one lyricist or another,but if you FOCUS ON BAR CONTENT you will have a pretty objective idea as to WHO WROTE THE BEST BARS FOR REAL.
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  13. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

    Joined:
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    and it went downhill for JDM from there.Only once more did he string together 4 strong bars in a row...near the end of his verse

    JDM

    Only thing worse than his multi obsession's his love for mixed martial arts
    He falls asleep thinking about UFC and Royce Gracie's retirement split his heart apart
    Deth's daydreaming of fighting when he's relaxing eating or penning his queer basic flows
    The only time he's not thinking of MMA's when he's putting guys in rear naked chokes

    anybody besides me notice that JDM is using multis...the thing he's dissing...in these bars? Lol. And his bars are funny but not THAT funny and they're getting repetitive now.He's more trying to tell stories with personals--a pretty good idea if you can pull it off--but he's not throwin real flame.

    DETH


    You're like a mule on a Claymore cuz ya ASS MINE! If you're Jay-Z? I'm Eminem sendin blades
    Tuh ETHER ya weak verbs til ya grin gitz sprayed by RENEGADE pen grenades!
    Apply ya blood like warpaint cream n cammo lit ya team with beams then BLAMMO
    Liftcha Queen with fiendish ammo n invade ya land at the head of legions
    Bytch if you fail to pledge obeisance? I'll blow up Parliament cock n blam ya soccer fans then shit in The English Channel while reciting THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE!!


    Wordplay metaphor imagery street vicious attitude madd personals from Nas and Em eating Jay (who JDM compared himself to) in ETHER and RENEGADE respectively (aaand they USED MULTIS while doing so,the same multis that JDM is dissin) then I just went in on his whole country.And switch of material content again. JDM stayed on the multis and went on to MMA. I hit him with a broad deep and clever array of punches which accessed way more material yet synched them together in a single smooth flow of nonstop punches AND had better humor too.

    JDM

    This wack opponent can't trouble me I'll leave you torn apart Deth
    I'm twice as good man I'm, double D like a porn stars chest
    Just 'cus you've been text battling all yah life doesn't make you a timeless veteran
    'Cus even though you have a few gold bars you just create trash like a reverse Midas complexion


    The standout punches here are the ones he landed..."the double D/porn star chest" and the one he hellafied missed..."gold bars/Midas complexion". The double D and Double You type punches have been used alot,so they tend to have watered down effect even when used decently. If you use a "double" punch,it has to be nearly AMAZING to get a sharp reaction from readers and the crowd. I liked JDM's "double D/porn star chest" punch but it was like:"okay decent punch" as opposed to "nice shot son!" aaaand his "reverse Midas complexion" punch was a HORRIBLE punch. The IDEA WAS GREAT but the WORDING AND EXECUTION WAS TERRIBLE. King Midas' "turn everything to gold" Midas Touch has NOTHING to do with his complexion. complexion by definition is:

    The natural color, texture, and appearance of a person's skin, esp. of the face: "an attractive girl with a pale complexion".
    2. The general aspect or character of something

    These are not applicable to JDM's punch in any way.

    Now...some vets with real weight pull and decision making ability that will affect the result of this battle took me to task severely for using "potty pan poo" without even knowing that there was REALLY A SUCH THING as a potty pan. I even got neg repped for using something that these guys had no idea REALLY EXISTS. See hospital bedpan=potty pan.I explained this to more than one person.Another person of significant experience weight and whose judgements carry more weight than the average poster on RM actually took me to task for using "daggered quips"...without realizing how skillful the use of that phrase is. A quip,by definition,is:"

    Noun: A witty remark.
    Verb: Make a witty remark

    This dude was taking me to task because I used another word that meant PUNCHLINE. They were actually offended that I used a phrase "daggered quips" which means "sharp and deadly punchlines". I just sat there and was amazed at this uproar. Now,NOBODY SAID A WORD when JDM used "reverse Midas complexion"...yet they were all over me for my correct use of real world accurate stuff that I wielded cleverly to boot. It's not only noteworthy it's...almost suspicion engendering. Real talk.

    Here is my 2nd favorite collection of 4 bars from JDM in this battle:

    JDM

    A mic you can use? That was a fuckin mindless invention
    Bruv, nobody wants you to spit like a chick with a hepatitis infection
    Nobody gives a fuck about your kickboxing 'cus if someone decided to pull several ratchets
    You'd resemble the tragic soldier who blew his brains out in Full Metal Jacket


    This was tite.I like this. Creative intelligent punches,hard hitting,consdescending insults,personals,street swag,smooth flow,pop reference,humor.Good vocab selection and use. Good job.

    DETH

    Dawg I'll bring heat tuh ya dome like Russian Fever n lop ya damn head off like fuckin cleavers
    Git chopped like sausage beef for accostin me cuz you're rap's British version of Justin Bieber!
    Jab n double cross you like a plus sign and a crucifix! You're buyin the farm for battlin me!
    Your punches lack heat...but my hooks are fire like the spiraling arms of galaxies!!



    This section was close,but the determining factor was the opening bars of each of us:

    JDM

    A mic you can use? That was a fuckin mindless invention

    DETH

    Dawg I'll bring heat tuh ya dome like Russian Fever n lop ya damn head off like fuckin cleavers


    See that? I doubled the punches that he threw in one bar AND they were more powerful.Now it can be argued that the other 3 bars of each of us were about of equal power in this area,but the opener is clearly mine...and that tilts the scale toward me. One of the things that I've been blessed to do in many battles I've had is that I maintain quality firepower over extended bar counts.Again,this isn't ego...IT'S TRUE.This one reason alone is why most people prefer to battle me over short bar caps that are under 30 and especially under 20. They have a much better chance of staying with me and giving me close combat with shorter bars. But the longer the bar count,the greater their chances of losing. It's like a gifted,ranked top 15 fighter can box with the champ for say up to 6 rounds,but he's gettin KO'd after that.That's what I have a reputation for doing to guys,and that's why only 2 people over the last couple years would go unlimited with me. I'm doing this same thing to JDM in this battle...just insufficiently focused voting missed it.
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  14. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    THE FINAL BARS


    JDM

    How long Deth's got left? Time's depleting
    This'll be the worst result for a D since the 09 Lions season
    Don't have to dump the clip like deleted scenes say night with the straight right
    Actually I might even just spare you because of how much I fucking hate Stryques
    My verses smack you hard D I'll cave yah skull with a bat harshly
    Now you're getting humiliated by my pen like you passed out at a frat party
    Because no matter how many martial arts he says he can use to kick butt
    Listing Asian striking techniques will never create a sick punch
    Fuck a hammer and nine I'll batter this guy with masterful lines
    Now get off the fucking internet and go tend to your Canibus shrine



    DETH


    You Brits get abused if we rappin or scrappin bruh,I'm shaftin ya like asparagus plucked from the ruff
    So if we scrappin? You Hatton.I'm Pacman.If it's war? I'm America fuckin you up!!
    I'm a problem man! I'm roofin yo ass for woofin that trash,and if you keep on talkin man
    I'll dump the heat n feed clips n chopper blam this crumpet eatin tea sippin soccer fan
    My ock words launch this future Oxford Man tuh Auckland fam n wetcha like Aqua man with the raps I say
    You'll get dropped in a box if we box B,cuz you're a mere Khan//Amir Khan...I'm THE KING OF THE WORLD like CASSIUS CLAY


    Bar for bar with the exception of my 3rd bar? I outperformed him. Look at his opening bar. Look at mine. He asks a question...I make an attack on not only him but every British guy I battled (and I defeated them all at one time or another). It wasn't the strongest attack I made,but it sure outperformed JDM asking a QUESTION. I mean...where does this become an honest question based upon bar content? Compare each individual bar that he wrote with mine,and mine with his. That's a fair comparison and it's also a clear way to make a objective difference...one that helps to mold and guide one's preference or at least one's appreciation of the power of other lyricists who employ a style that's NOT one's preference.

    Okay.I had to get that out of my system because there were and are many issues about this battle that strikes me as proveably problematic,whether I won the battle or not.
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  15. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    word. I'm done and if the Voting Guideline is up? I'll never need to post at length like I just did again.The Voting Guideline is the fairest thing we can have.There ya go.
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  16. TheProle

    TheProle Pls go, Milhouse.

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    3,660
    This is being take way too seriously. I don't think we should have any kind of voting guideline, because it will make us do this. Go back through the entire battle, pick out the personals (who says you need personals?), pick out the multies (who says you need multies?), etc.

    Just make a good freakin' rap verse against your opponent no matter how you do it.
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  17. TheIlliterate

    TheIlliterate Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    1,201
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  18. Mrjdm998

    Mrjdm998 New Member

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    Oh Deth, you just mad cus I'm stylin' on you
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  19. Mrjdm998

    Mrjdm998 New Member

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    No, I'm dissing bars like this:

    Chap look! One phat hook collapsed ya flat on ya back shook n bangs ya mane like I mag clapped ya hat til ya cap's cooked!

    All you've done is write a basic threat and fill it with multis. I like multi rhymes and I use them, but when all you're doing is writing a line which says you punches me so hard it looked like you shot me then just fillinf it with multis, that's a weak line.
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  20. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    It's a bar that's actually filled with more than that,what with the condescending use of CHAP and the visuals,and believe it or not there were veterans who've been onsite alot longer than you and I have been (combined) who completely missed the punch. They didn't even know if I was talking about "mane" as in a "man" or "mane" as in a "lion's mane". AND it's what you said it is...no question. But the bottom line is: you won and you move on.Congratulations.Maybe you can be the youngest ever RBL TOURNEY CHAMP.
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