[RANKS] Week 48 Ranks and Lounge

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Jul 25, 2011.

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  1. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    oh well that makes sense then.. i thought the same victim in the beggining was the same in the end i remember the kids being torn over the situation but maybe i misinterperated it a bit b/c i thought u were flashing back and shit to the scene and im gonna go read it over again..

    i owe u that much courtesy but im sure i understood the story
    test
  2. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    i see whats wrong here.. u don't set the theme up properly the character's are just thrown into the story i didn't know jason from david ... why was the mother being slaughtered? why did the husband die tryna save her? did the sister try to commit suicide and the brother stopped her and she killed him on accident or out of rage? and in the end u got ur irony or whatever.. whats difficult here for me is your transition's were not even there u just tryna show off too much i didn't understand the chronological orde of the story b/c u didn't even present it properly .. i mean it is their but it's too hard to decipher.. why dont u try writing for ur audience and not for ur self u idiot.
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  3. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    I'm positive you didn't since you called it a monologue.
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  4. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    it's not the worse story this week .. but since i didn't vote for you i guess you needed to complain a lil bit.. :cry:
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  5. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    bc it was a spoken word monologue..u spoke about the story from 3rd person except in one stanza u bring in a slight trace of character development.. bro im not in college so take what i say with a grain of sand im not hatin on ur verse.. it wasn't a diss at all..
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  6. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    No like honestly, I really don't want you to ever vote for me because no matter what I write you clearly don't comprehend things.

    For this to be a spoken word approach it would have to be a topical. This is a storytelling verse. It's not a topical.

    Being in college doesn't have anything to do with being able to read and understanding what you're reading.
    test
  7. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    That post up there ^ About reading and bleeding - That's fucking awesome. haha.

    Well, GL? I'm getting back into the swing of things. I started running again. Last November I was at 195. I'm 5'6'' and was benching 325 for 3 1/2 when I stopped. I haven't touched a weight since january, but decided to go 2 times last week. Still got 285 1 t ime clean, so I'm still strong - but I'm weighing 172 Lol! You got 100 lbs on me. but I'll be back soon, no doubt.
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  8. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    Get at me if you need a training program
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  9. Obsent Hope318

    Obsent Hope318 New Member

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    it's grain of salt..." take what i say with a grain of salt."

    ..sorry but you used the same analogy talking to me in the mag...
    test
  10. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    ur dumb as fuck ur flow and delivery was that if a spoken word the point of view the narration was presented sounded like a monologue too me.. HAHA u stupid bitch shut the fuck up ur not makin any sense.. u left to many open ends for it to be a better verse to many flaws in the story for it to be perfect. u fuckin ignorant twat takemy advice or don't idgaf if i can help u be better u write for an audience here in the rstl believe it or not.. know ur fuckin audience u scum bag

    and grain of salt grain of sand it's not a big deal.. i say grain of sand, maybe u say salt.. both them bitches is small and have similar taste if u get it in urmouth and both are minerals. so shut the fuuuuuuck up...

    GL? u a pussy tho.

    i coulda ranted about how i lost my battle to two whack ass simplistic verse's with no rhyme scheme but it's stupid redundant and bitch made.. grow the fuck up....

    GL? got me writin paragraph responses like dethstryque
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  11. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    GL? lemme ask u this.. do u really think ur verse had better rhymes and story development then that of IamBents? did ur story carry an anecdote? have a message?

    why dnt u go shot some roids in ur dick u rager!
    test
  12. nom is dull.

    nom is dull. but shines up pretty.

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    Etymology: based on the idea that food tastes better and is easier to swallow if you add a little salt
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  13. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    test
  14. Obsent Hope318

    Obsent Hope318 New Member

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    i didnt see that coming... but salt burns evil spirits ... and in the old days,any time some one was taking something that would hurt them, they would take it with a grain of salt. the same goes for something that might poison... you take it with a grain of salt... when ppl in the old days jumped the broom they would the throw salt over their shoulder... and knights used to get paid in salt... salt perserves..salt relaxes, i think it even cleans... all hail the grain of salt lol :beat:
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  15. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    I don't need a program at all, man. I'm just so busy with work. I put in about 85-90 hours a week, working on becoming a cop at the same time. Tomorrow is my Psych Evaluation. Never been so nervous, man. Tomorrow can shape the man I am going to be in the future.

    I'm also working on a mixtape with my friend Chris. We got 8 songs done, I want 12. So, no gym.

    Then again, I am going to the gym tonight to do some running. Got'a get used to the running thing again if I'm going to the Academy
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  16. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    *crosses fingers*
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  17. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    my cock hairs are tingling
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  18. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    Lol I can't picture you as a cop but good luck homie
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  19. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    You can't picture me at all, though. Can you?
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  20. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    I picture you all the time...lolwut
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