[RANKS] Week 15 Ranks and Lounge

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Dec 6, 2010.

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  1. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    :funny: @ LP.....i can't wait to see who he is matched up against next week and how superior his verse will be to that person
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  2. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    i may sign out and sign back in jus to face him, lmao.
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  3. ikon211

    ikon211 Member

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    LMAO! I was jk anyway... but keep that match in mind; better yet let's make a deal! If I can win my week 16 match in week 17 you vs me! If I lose in week 16 ________ (<----- your choice goes here) :funny:
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  4. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    lol that wouldnt work. what if shadows champ and i wanna put you against him. then you would skip up to the champ match
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  5. ikon211

    ikon211 Member

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    let Shad pick my week 16 opp.
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  6. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    lol. trust me, well face
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  7. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    I've been told.."Everything that glitter ain't gold"
    Sometimes, some things aren't what they seem...one mans nightmares
    might be another man's dreams..I been performing Requiems since
    I was a teen, all the troubles I've seen..

    darkness intervened, inner screams, sinner's seem
    like THEY are the ones on the winning team. I've starved for a serene scene
    and searched land & sea.
    What I found was..
    The grand 'scheme of things'
    are as Damned as me!!


    first "bar" where everything glitter and gold..etc.. perfect rhyme. perfect structure.. set up for the next line in even got more in depth as i proceed.

    On yon horizon a pilot smiling,
    senses an instance to have fun.
    Scoundrel in em rising after spying
    two vibrant young girls below during the annual,
    Stunt-Flying Exhibition Air Show.'

    slight traces of rhyme scheme.


    Dare devil Romeo, air borne deity
    delightedly brimming with bravado,
    he DOVE merrily suddenly barreling,
    bird of prey imitator aficionado.


    tbh.. what he talking bout in the no need to put the words in that order it confuses the reader. doesnt project his imagery as good as it should be.

    In my endeavors, obsession became my repute in pursuit for the 'loot'
    an institute of my impute, intrusive and lewd acts construed en route
    for the "boot"..New recruits Salute to the root.. Of all evil...Monetary gain..
    causing involuntary pains, It's all a dreary feign, how money calls us near
    the Flame..Principles and Morals Fall into the game, ensuing poverty and shame!
    Where all in here to blame, our selfish postures are preposterous and deign..
    causing us to wander & to wane from being the strongest species to conquer our terrain.

    I've pillaged and plundered villages over and under.. All of it remains
    unexplained and inhumane. They put a bounty on my frame. For the thousands I
    have slain.. Worldly treasures I can claim but earthly pleasures are arcane.

    I don't understand the way I feel, or why! All I know is, I don't want to WANT
    I'd rather die..
    then feel unsatisfied.
    I
    I most covet the things that diminish a
    mans image..Blemish his whole lineage.
    I'm sentenced to my own prison.
    MY Privilege of Existence


    man i get so personal and descriptive in there its ridiculous how well i described a feeling and a story with such heavy laden rhymes.

    Lowering the throttle he drops to their level,
    his coddled Machismo got him feeling vim,
    high and mighty eagerly anticipating
    a response in forms of awe and sexy shrieks
    cajoling the ladies to flee daintily,
    especially the blonde one.
    Oh my God their disheveled,
    appearances would be gleeful to him.
    Appeasing his honor in a conceitful display,
    A pleasing foray announcing to the audience,
    to the people his impeccable control,
    He swoops! but TO NO AVAIL oops.

    Mind blown dumbfounded regarding coldly,
    how could… One of the lowly,
    boldly stay put as he bore down?


    cigma is using good descrpitive words.. but their appearance is awkward such as disheveled meaning to be in disarray which doesn't make much sense are you trying to say they were behaving disorderly? i think the better word would be they were frantic or fanatical over the performace and that's what intrigued him. a lot of weeak rhyme schemes to cover up the report like story here.



    I had A dream, that when I died they buried me in a treasure chest.
    left me to be swept away by the tides,
    I better pray and better tithe
    because yesterday is left to die and today is too-day to be tomorrow
    and tomorrow never dies!

    I seen Cimmerian skies, death within the crows eye's. I was buried in
    the very source of my inequity. What did this symbolize? I didn't think
    any body could sympathize until I met this young guy. Indeed he did seem wise-and told me,
    his interpretation withholding lie's..
    "something Acheronian is on the rise.."Foreboding certain death & economic compromise.
    "..awaiting to be swept away by the oceans tide in the middle of the night, after the
    darkness comes the light.. a thing civilization has endured and
    has peculiarly become trite." He continued to tell me, "this is a sign, of death, due
    to economic war, on the shore of folklore. It's darkness is imminent, in a bit, when it gets
    a grip, but it too shall pass, this is indefinite.." time has an attention deficit disorder..
    because it can never sit, it keeps moving forward.
    . Time can not sit still. Neither can man-kind,
    with his mind. he has to add and subtract and multiply to survive.
    birth into a curse to

    pursue what is cursed to work and to find his worth on earth until he returns into the dirt. its
    the circle in which we are immersed.. it's a cycle in which we can not reverse. in-which first shall
    be the last and the last shall be the first, it's deeper then science class this ain't your
    average bible verse .. this is proof of the master and his plans dispersed within these words..

    its absurd. to refute these patterns seen, and shattered dreams, in latter things the master brings
    prophecies envisioning, if he has eyes we let him see, what the future behold for you and me..
    may he bestow the vision that he hold's for our destiny eventually. regretfully we're left to be
    second string until .. our pedigree is next-to-he the majesty he is king. manifest in me all the bless-ed
    clean personalities, strengthening me, to be the better me I can never be, because my inequities they sever
    me from all that is heavenly. essentially accepting me as the being i could never be
    in this life.
    full of pain and strife but i been taking it in stride I'll be finding my destiny in my dream's tonight..


    i incorporated symbolism. from the picture.. in an array of rhyme that was pretty solid. good multis poetic tones and story progression. this was a story about one mand dream. and that's it. he didn't walk to no stores or slap no bitches he had a dream and a conversation about it. creative and precise regarding the picture and all the elements i provided in this verse i felt it would make it superiour.

    She nobly holds her ground unfolding,
    unflinching… tall stood, wholly convincing
    holding hands with her frantic friend,
    who is wincing and would've fled
    if it wasn't for her calming influence.

    i notice u use a lot of "nobely, wholey, coldly, etc. as if to display ur rhyme skill. and it just doesnt compare to my rhyme scheme and patterns.


    Innocent and significant a lullaby sang from sky,
    the engines rumblings cry,
    devoid of the malice that it's driver had implied.

    On that fateful day in the air-yard,
    As the red plane swang by, it became an instrument
    delivering an oblivious human being an awakening,
    experience within… leaving an indelible imprint,
    in the fair heart of twenty year old Amelia Earhart.


    story wise, i seen a lot going on in here, then u add the amelia earhart. idk why, that's not even a picture of her. is it?
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  8. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    Reverence radiates from her altitude,
    queen like lithe frame without any attitude.
    Not tentative, a stilled will on this day instilled,
    with the inspiration to fulfill her obligation
    for creation to become a heroine pioneer,
    standard bearer for woman's suffrage,
    through her aeronautic accomplishments.

    Successful for 20 years until she's killed…
    on her final flight, the first woman
    to circumnavigate the earth, almost.

    Yet her spirit will never be extinguished.


    not discreditting cigma.. he one of my more favored writers. but. it's like if i went to the movies and had a choice between an amelia earhart documentary or angels and demons. i'd definitly go with the more entertainment value in the angels and demons.. let my kids watch the documentary.


    thats how i feel tac.. so u understand why i don't agree at all with what u said or say about that match up.
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  9. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    Ikon vs. Heart

    word
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  10. ikon211

    ikon211 Member

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    CANT WAIT! (when ever that'll happen...) :funny:
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  11. ikon211

    ikon211 Member

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    Shad, you serious bout that match? If so i'm lookin up to it!
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  12. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    No....i don't do the matchups....too lazy
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  13. ikon211

    ikon211 Member

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    Damn lol it's all good though, Im looking to win against who ever my opponet is...
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  14. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    you only say that cuz you know we wont be facing :funny:
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  15. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    imma hate vote the f*ck out of T.a.C
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  16. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

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    Dare devil Romeo, air borne deity
    delightedly brimming with bravado,
    he DOVE merrily suddenly barreling,
    bird of prey imitator aficionado.

    I'm setting the stage.
    This first part refers to the male dominance in society at the time.
    The man thinks he's a god, he's goes about that ideology with sheer
    delight. A mans man.

    The second is referring to a Barrel Roll which is a plane maneuver.
    The pilot enters the action Merrily.
    He think's he's a hawk or eagle swooping down on prey.
    Aficianado means : A person who is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about an activity, subject, or pastime.

    The imagery is massive if you know the definitions of words.


    You need to stop looking through a backward telescope.

    Meaning:
    When you look at your own work it looks so grand, but when you see others
    it appears to you trivial.

    Your mistakes look small, while others look big, backwards telescope.

    Oh my God their disheveled,
    appearances would be gleeful to him.

    uhh.. it would turn him on to see these women run away looking in dissarray... meaning their clothing is all out of place, perhaps blouses
    blown off.

    What do you mean I was trying to say they were behaving disorderly?
    Maybe you should look up the word disarray.
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  17. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    ill cut you, bitch
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  18. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

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    well actually it's more like

    On yon horizon a pilot smiling
    senses an instance, to have fun.
    Scoundrel in em rising after spying
    two vibrant young girls below during the annual,
    Stunt-Flying Exhibition Air Show.

    I rhyme syllable and word sound patterns, not just words...
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  19. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    ok cigma.. i wasn't bringin this up to bash u bro, just to argue what tac was saying.. and i dont just rhyme words neither u know that i used word patterns and syllables also in a more fervent manner..

    p.s. i knew the words u where using, and if i didn't i looked them up.. all im saying is that i felt awkward more so after i read the definition of some words. bc the imagery didn't connect strongly enough in my opinion... sorry cig i don't intend to use ur name in vein like this i respect you bro
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  20. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

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    nah it's cool because I know my shit isn't always clear and it is awkward, because
    the idea and the words don't always sync up, with where the sound falls.

    it's like this

    Some people are color blind so should you just paint in the colors that they can see?

    I try to just do as much as I can brining people along, with some people my work
    really resonates because they can appreciate some of the more intricate things
    I attempt to do, while people less adept at reading verses also enjoy other aspects.

    It's a balancing act, sometimes I just want to write clever, other times I like wordplay, etc..


    Like you said.. some people prefer documentaries and other thrillers.
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