Porkchops Rants

Discussion in 'Audio Emcee Hook Ups' started by Porkchop, Sep 16, 2013.

  1. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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    No way Jose! Nobody is holding a gun to your head and making you read anything I type..If what I type annoys you, I would suggest using that ignore feature and save yourself the frustration. Ya hear? SHEESH...Have a nice night and I hope tomorrow is even better...HA HA
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  2. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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    Good morning friends! At the 1:43 mark a cat barks...I ain't even joking! HA HA
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  3. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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    I am a huge lynyrd skynyrd fan...HUGE! HA HA
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  4. GaLaTeA

    GaLaTeA GymArt

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    Morning couldn't of started any better.. Need to throw their discog in zee car..
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  5. Neezy Hamilton

    Neezy Hamilton Law & Order.

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    @Porkchop is THAT nigga
    HA HA!!!

    Sent from The Gawd Himself
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  6. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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    I know, I know, I know what you're thinking my RM brethren...It seems too good to be true, Right? But I'd be happy to put my bullshitting skills to work for you...Ya know? Need a wingman to extract you from your Twamp-Like existence? HA HA! Huh? Are you having probs approaching that chick at the club? Really? Are you afraid you'll get shot down by her bitchy friends <again>? HA HA Guess what? This guy here is on your side! Ya know? <Read below>

    Perhaps you have one of the following conditions or defects that's holding you back from getting in touch with ya Inner Pimp?

    1. Lazy eye <cocked like a pistol>
    2. You smell
    3. You too drunk to leave the crib
    4. You stutter
    5. You dig rainbows
    6. You're an amputee
    7. Live in parents basement
    8. Poor dental hygiene
    9. Tourettes
    10. Clubbed foot
    11. Hammer toes
    12. Tennis elbow
    13. Bowlers wrist
    14. You're a chronic masterbater
    15. You post on a faux RM site
    16. You wear the same ugly dirty dickies long sleeved shirt every damn day HA HA

    Well, I can help you!

    For the oh so low, low, price of $499.95/hour (4 hour minimum) (Discounts may apply) You will fly me out to your location and I'll stand by your side until you select your target then I'll move in for the direct marketing/introductions and it will be all about YOU, YOU, YOU! Sounds like a blast! Right bros? HA HA Okay....I won't be drinking much, just some light beers for me,,I wont get shitfaced and make a bad situation worse,,,Ya know? Im on YOUR clock and YOUR dime... And no double dealing even if your ideal mate seems way more into me, hey bro...business is business....I got your back man. As a special added bonus, at a very low cost, a prescreening may be arranged with a personally selected sadistic group of ultra bitchy women to evaluate your appearance and macking skills.... And you know yourself, you cant put a price on the type of knowledge these ho's will drop on you...truly cut thoat hot cunts that will shamelessly point out every flaw you have...Put it like this guys,,, Ever seen a cat that gets ahold of and shreds a shiny ribbon? Same idea,...Yeah.. only the ribbon is your self confidence HA HA. But from that horrifying experience we can possibly learn, and set you up for travelling down the road as a hound on that unlimited poontang trail and be the crown of Mack Daddy,, The Mack Dawg,,,The Mack Truck...The ROCK SOLID Ghettofied Schizzznit Pimp Master of the Universe..Whew...I read my new thread and I love it Mr Hamilton..Thanks for the shine..Perhaps you'll get a discount..Ya hear? HA HA ...Back to the plan at hand..Are ya tired of waking up alone and NOT in need of a shower cause you failed to get any <stank on your hang low>? Huh? Are you envious of all your RM friends because they complain about yet another coyote ugly limb chewing slob between their sheets? Or yet another STD,,, or yet another unplanned pregnancy,,Seriously....all while you sit quietly on the sidelines? Let me help you get in the game son! What are you thinking? Looking like a possibility, ain't it? HA HA

    NO guarantees
    NO warranties

    Poster not responsible for:
    Macing
    Tazing
    STDs
    Arrests
    Incarceration
    Police Brutality,
    Unplanned Pregnancy <Serious look>
    Or any other damages whether direct,,, collateral,, or liquidated.

    *Important Notice*
    Offer to be looked over by the sadistic ultra bitchy friends is not an invitation for prostitution, solicitation, snuggle bunnys, sweaty snuggle bunnys, or leg wrasslin. Understand? SHEESH Holla at me....Ya hear? HA HA
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2013
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  7. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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    Payment up front..HA HA
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  8. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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    Turn up really loud...Ya hear? HA HA

    This isn't for everyone...But it is for me!

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  9. quotive

    quotive 3

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    ?????
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2013
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  10. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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  11. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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  12. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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    I don't do a whole lot of shopping at walmart..Usually I go to another local grocery store because I like the different selections they have...I did however go in walmart this weekend. I bought a few things, dog treats, some deodorant, some art supplies for my son, and few other items. Then I grabbed some garlic pistachios...Let me tell you something, the pistachios are more addicting than crack cocaine! I ate the whole bag already! I'm a glutton! Yes? Go and buy some, they are that good! I promise. HA HA
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  13. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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    Which one is scarier to you? Huh? HA HA
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  14. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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    HA HA f'n HA
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  15. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
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  16. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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    HA HA
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  17. double ML

    double ML plekz = wannabe thought police

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  18. Twamp

    Twamp proper weaponry

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  19. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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  20. Porkchop

    Porkchop Well-Known Member

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