Out Through the In Door

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Coup d'état, Jul 1, 2011.

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  1. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    Out Through the In Door

    Digging up your roots you say.
    Going back. At last.

    So you dig.
    Dig for justification.
    Dig for validation, understanding.
    Digging to fill new wholes
    With old dirt.
    Digging for truth.

    As fast as the shovel pivots
    As fast as you can bear the exposure
    Of how things really happened
    Not how you interpret them now
    But rather, of a downward momentum
    Not just of the shovel, but of life's pull
    Though both are striking the same plate
    With an insatiable appetite to satisfy the urge
    To know the absolute dexterity of truth.
    You dig. You and shovel.

    Except the shovel is sure of itself
    It will spark as it clanks against time
    Conversely, you will collide and fold in
    Coil up as a double helix of what once was
    Wrapping around the past with a sure complexity
    And in the process a partnership is solidified
    A cooperation forging a link to the past
    Of steel networking its desire to function correctly
    You of your questioning, explanations and motivations
    As an organic body exercising it's right to inquire.

    You discover quickly that what you dug up
    Is easily arranged against what you thought
    and what is,... was, is really not once was
    But only an image of what you wanted it to be

    You pick up the past and uncoil this information
    You soon realize new uses of old trauma bases
    Realize rungs of dead end roads, of bad choices
    More insightful now than ever you point this up
    Into the sky and climb on the burden of your
    new way forward.
    test
  2. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    I feel this is missing something....can I get some feed back to help me pin point it ?

    Thanks all.

    Blessings.
    test
  3. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

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    I haven't been in the realm in so long and I don't know why I chose to read this one but it spoke to me..I've been going through a period of self-reflection and realizing a lot. Thank you for writing this.

    The ending can very well be the beginning of a poem speaking about that journey forward : )
    test
  4. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    Thanks, your welcome.
    test
  5. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

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    man this was dope.
    i loved how you carried the use of the dna throughout the second half of your piece. the way you used it to develop your piece was really clever.

    you said you thought it was missing something, so lets see here... its hard to say, as i have no idea how you wanted the finished product to look like and i can't really pick out anything that i think its missing.. was this a general feeling or is there a particular section you think is missing something?
    test
  6. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    INk, I felt it was missing some context into everyday life in so that readers could identify...oh well. Thanks for reading .
    test
  7. Poetic Concept

    Poetic Concept New Member

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    This isnt missing anything...I really like the metaphor of the shovel...to me it symbolizes self-reflection...its "digging" searching...maybe ur quest for the missing piece to this is actually the basis for writing this...if that makes sense...ur looking for something within urself...yet the "dexterity of truth" allow it to evade u...so the search continues...not only in the second stanza do u question the shovels ability to find it...but in realization u question ur own ability to either find or even want to find an answer...but then the AHAH feeling occurs when u finally realize that u havent had to look at all, it was a compellation of insignificant things u dug prior that "arranged" themselves when u took them in a whole...

    that is my take on this...it was nonetheless a great write and hopefully I see more from u....
    test
  8. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    Wow man...thanks. That makes a lot of sense pC
    test
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