only god can judge me

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by lewdDog, Jul 1, 2010.

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  1. lewdDog

    lewdDog Life is are own illusion

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    Messages:
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    Opportunity: without caution taken as if I released it from my grasp.
    Negligent: a constant reminder of how change fights our ambition.
    Loyalty: so rarely questioned until the time comes to ask.
    Youth: gone, forgotten; a distant memory I wish to recall.

    God bless America and our liberties we take for granted.
    Only until our freedom is questioned do we ask to be free.
    Declaration of interdependence of the land we pledge.

    Caged; free will behind bars of capitalist industries.
    A war: silent. Charged fees too feel free.
    Normal: clueless to that the colors we bleed are flawed.

    Judicial system set to profit the undeclared leaders of the state.
    Unwilling to question it; the blind continue to lead us into depression.
    Droughts of economic wealth: she bleeds resources to feed our needs.
    Greed: the basis of the law we abide and enforce on others.
    Envy those whose innocents aren’t questioned still to this day.

    Man made….
    Evil.
    test
  2. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2003
    Messages:
    2,938
    Let's just say there is no light to the end of this tunnel. It seems like it's the little "guy" (the people) VS the "giants"(government/corporations).

    I would have liked to have read some more emotion in this piece, kind of read line by line of author believed facts, kind of dry. Every line kind of reads as if it were a single statement nothing is expanded upon or really explained. Never the less got the gist of what you were saying . I see the "only god can judge me" overtone to the structure but overall is that really what the piece is about? As a reader I see a lot of judgmental statements from the writer, nothing really going the other way. Kind of confusing.

    I know I sound critical and maybe some writers don't want that kind of responds. This piece isn't garbage by any means, just I've read pieces from you that have flown and better and that were more heartfelt.

    Anyways nice to read something from a familiar poet


    Stay up, Much love, Peace
    test
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