One Day (R.I.P. Grandma)

Discussion in 'Post Ya Audios & Videos Here! - feedback forum' started by Lenny Blaze, Aug 6, 2005.

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  1. Lenny Blaze

    Lenny Blaze New Member

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    test
  2. E_Spangler

    E_Spangler GHOstBuStaH

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    returnin the fav-

    beats pretty nice, feelin it.....lyrics are ill man, some mad deep shit....sorry bout ur grandma....delivery is good, nice emotion....flows good, theres room for improvement....hooks nice, feelin it....second verse is dope too...nice well thought out lyrics, u def spittin from the heart, props....overall, this is a pretty nice track, diggin the deepness of this fo sho....keep elevatin n spittin that realness yo...peace
    -EGON
    test
  3. NoxOnline

    NoxOnline Producer/Rapper

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    You can't go wrong when it's from the heart. I feel a lot of emotion on this, and the lyrics are definitely good..the only thing I could say to work on is your delivery a little bit..this is definitely on some deeper than most stuff. Sorry to hear about your grandma too. good drop.
    test
  4. ceson

    ceson ....Ceson Wordz

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    peepin...deep track...1st verse was good,flow was good delivery was good...u remiind me alot of introspect cause of ya voice...lyrics was nice...deep.....hook is good....2nd verse was the same...on point...deep kinda track...quality of the vocals was pretty good...nice effects for the hook......props on this....
    nicley done...good drop....
    returned the view
    test
  5. .Malone.

    .Malone. New Member

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    Beat is nice what is the name of it

    Verse 1 - Lyrics are nice and very deep and emotional, presenc and elivery is nice

    Hook- nice emotional hook and rides the beat well

    Verse 2 - RIP to your grandma you had this verse ill and it was straight from the heart which made it better nice shit son
    test
  6. KamikazeLyricist

    KamikazeLyricist The Kamikaze Lyricist

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    listenin ... beats aight ... I feel the concept and youre emotion is there ...
    flow could be polished up a lil .... But we all can polish up so it wasnt bad ...
    hook was cool ... second verse ... like the first Iwas feelin it ... Dope track
    thanx for peepin mine Pz
    test
  7. Bad News™

    Bad News™ Bred.

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    first off r.i.p to my grandpa too....came in...emotion..mannn, im feeling u on this...al this shit is real...this why music is so real...cuz of real situations....keep ur head up..feelin the verse..
    hook is solid.....feeling ti, simple but efective
    2nd verse...came in a lil edgy,picked it up tho...same shit tho as i said above.....
    all i can say is, polish up ur flow and get ya delivery down ull only get better..solid track homie, stay up
    test
  8. Lenny Blaze

    Lenny Blaze New Member

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    thanx man uppin
    test
  9. Battlefields

    Battlefields Swaggin' On You

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    This was aight man


    R.I.P to your grandma

    Emotions there but delivery isnt there yet but you puleld this off alright man like other duke said youll only get better


    im feelingthe lyrics

    1st verse is better than the first STAY UP HOMIE

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=915877
    test
  10. Lenny Blaze

    Lenny Blaze New Member

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    wake up!!! dont sleep
    test
  11. exothermic

    exothermic Well-Known Member

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    listening...

    qualitys cool... beats nice..... flows cool.. rhyme scheme coulda been more complex kinda simple n u flowing kinda old school.. deliverys cool coulda put more emotion n shit in it.... lyrics cool felt it.... chorus is iight... overall coo shit
    test
  12. kCliPze

    kCliPze Not To Be Fucked Wit

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    This was aright kid.. some real shit.. good to see..

    im not gonna leave a long winded reply or anything just gonna Up this for ya cuz its good to see kids from the city doing there thing
    test
  13. Neruk

    Neruk Runky Runky

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    RIP to your grandma

    i agree the motion is there, but the delivery is lackin a bit.. of course the content is there, since it all real

    hook im not diggin it.. words are good, but its not standing out

    2nd verse same as the 1st
    test
  14. JuuKnow

    JuuKnow New Member

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    can't really crituqe this because its heartfelt...

    but i really like this....especially since i could relate..

    and thats real man..

    i'm goin to download this..

    peace to u



    returnin the view
    test
  15. Lenny Blaze

    Lenny Blaze New Member

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    thanx uppin
    test
  16. Poeticks

    Poeticks MY TIME HAS COME

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    I hate to critique something so personal

    the beat is pretty nice....I think your flow could use a little improvement....I cant critique the lyrics...its you expressing you....overall though this was a decent listen
    test
  17. Lenny Blaze

    Lenny Blaze New Member

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    thanx uppin
    test
  18. l_dopa

    l_dopa New Member

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    Excuse me if I seem to be rude but I want to give you true constructive criticism. I think you could go back and do a real nice song and still make it personal. Songs like this are Jay Z Regrets and Nas - Memory Lane. Go and add some nice word play so people can relate to your issue as well as admire your lyricism. Check my shit out in my signature.
    test
  19. Lenny Blaze

    Lenny Blaze New Member

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    iight thanx uppin
    test
  20. Lenny Blaze

    Lenny Blaze New Member

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    uppin last time, dont sleep
    test
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