Noah was a punk ass b-tch

Discussion in 'The Sanctuary' started by Sir Bustalot, Aug 5, 2013.

  1. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    noah was a punk ass biatch for only taking 2 of each animal

    he shoulda worked harder and saved them all... I woulda and coulda.


    i fucking hate that guy

    what a bitch


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  2. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

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    i think you are really bored and want some attention, so i will give it to you. (hard).

    he saved two animals from opposite sexes so they can breed and save their entire breed.

    it was a fucking ark (for those who actually believe the story), it couldn't fit every animal there was, c'mon now.

    [​IMG]

    i'm sure the story has been exaggerated to keep the audience interested.

    :numaan:
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  3. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    lol. Pff he half assed it

    i woulda went all the way and got them all.
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  4. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

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    and drowned in the process.

    :numaan:
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  5. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    maybe, but atleast i tried, he didnt even try.

    he gave up right away and said just 2. I would never hire that dude on any project of mine. Hes a lollygagger

    Disclaimer:
    and yes im obviously joking and just being an ass, but how do you feel bad about talking down to an imaginary character, atleast imaginary in the way we know him... i obviously dont believe he really completed this feat, although just as jesus, i believe he could have existed.... and the man who existed named noah, was probably a cool cat.
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  6. AliceHouse

    AliceHouse The House Always Wins

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    Busta, are you aware of what he did after the ark landed?

    Anyway, if you're serious. We do need off this planet while we still have the resources to build a Death St... er... World Ship. So get to steppin'.
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  7. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    i dont know shit about the dude. I didnt grow up around religion. Youre not about to tell me he was a child molester are ya?

    i just heard he gave up on all the animals and decided only 2 get to come. ;)

    i think his story woulda been way cooler, honorable, and interesting if hed have atleast attempted to take all the animals....

    what if i build that deathstar and say nope all you guys are fucked, im only taking 2 of you?

    and then how exactly do i decide which 2? personal preference on what clothes youre wearing? the music you listen too? whether or not i like your politics? thats not very nice now is it.
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  8. AliceHouse

    AliceHouse The House Always Wins

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    He got piss drunk and passed out in his tent naked. Then his son walked in on him and saw him being all passed out and naked. So when Noah found out, he forever banished his son.
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  9. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    thats it?

    dude that was anticlimactic. But Noah sounds more like the jerk i imagined him to be
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  10. TheBigPayback

    TheBigPayback God Particle

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    He did what God told him to do. looks like it worked out fine to me.

    and just fyi. we are all distantly related to noah.
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  11. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    well gods a jerk for giving up on all the animals. Only take two my son, dont bother helping the others. Im so kind that i wont even try to help the others. Theyll perish quickly, and since some animals have gay sex, they will end up in hell
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  12. x calibur

    x calibur

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    presumably there was no way of fitting all the animals on a single ark. the Bible gives exact measurements of it, and it was a large ship, but not the size of a star destroyer (which you'd need for all the terrestrial animals).
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  13. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    haha well yeah. If my mission is to save the water on the planet, and i get given a cup to do so, Im obviously not going to be able to take all the water. Thats the point

    im just sayin, that why would god put limitations on saving life? makes no sense to me.

    Build a boat noah to save the animals, but make sure its only big enough to take 2 of each. fuck the rest of them, well make more later on.

    Gods defeatist attitude on the matter cost many animals lives. I hope hes proud of half assing things.


    im sure the story was never meant to be taken literally. Thats what im getting at. I dont honestly believe some dude could have actually rounded up hundreds of thousands of animal couples. And just because theres girl and boy animal, doesnt mean they like each other and will mate.
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  14. reggie jax

    reggie jax Well-Known Member

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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ham_(son_of_Noah)
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  15. Twamp

    Twamp proper weaponry

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    woulda been funny if Noah found out some of his animals were gay after the escape of the flood.
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  16. antilluminati

    antilluminati Well-Known Member

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    As I said before. Some guy made a boat to save his family and his farm in a flood somewhere. The story got out of hand and ended up being all the animals and the whole world being flooded. ^^ Could easily be so. Or it could be a parable
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  17. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    its probably a parable

    like the whole bible is supposed to be
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  18. MissBreezy

    MissBreezy The God Pestilence

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    I just wish he had have left some of the insects behind, you know, like mosquitoes, spiders, earwigs....
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  19. Geedorah

    Geedorah King

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    Why spiders?
    Just because it looks ugly to you, you want to kill it?
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  20. MissBreezy

    MissBreezy The God Pestilence

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    Yep, lol

    Not so much that they're ugly as I'm terrified of them.
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