My one kept secret

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Nebulaz, Jun 13, 2003.

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  1. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

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    My one kept secret
    it stays untold
    no way to release it
    no way to let go
    My one compromise
    besides I must be concise
    I dont have the precise
    nerve to express it
    undoubtly the most difficult
    trivial hardship
    Its served as a reminder weekly
    periodically its the focus of speaking
    I love to see it but
    facing it scares me
    Its Jason's Godmother
    and Freddies fairy
    it leaves me speechless
    remarkably like Joesph
    when Jesus was concieved by Mary
    It brings smiles; births tears
    when I sleep
    nightmares arent my worst fears
    her name pleases the tongue
    but hurts ears
    and breaks hearts
    her beauty is a masterpiece
    so i must escape art
    My life's a living hell
    yet I fell in love with an angel
    But it wont work
    I've calculated the articulated angles
    an endorphin for pain
    accentuating the feelings of no hope
    trying to maintain a sterile soul
    with no soap
    recieve no love
    my heart knocks, but
    this is no joke
    Fingertips write but cant quite quote
    you ask are my spirts alive...nope
    I will survive though
    I've gone on this long
    Puppetmasters strings are tight
    but I'm only half strung
    caring for her until my last breathe
    from my last lung
    God let this be my only love
    surpass none
    Why cant I emit these
    emotions to whom they must
    be passed on
    The only mistake I never made
    was not keeping my one secret
    Noone seeks it
    My life's a mess to see it
    Hating myself daily for holding onto it
    best believe it
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    "I love to see it but
    facing it scares me
    Its Jason's Godmother
    and Freddies fairy"


    Nice relation to how scared you're feeling at this time. Scared of seeing this happen, na'mean? Scared of telling a 'secret'.. This piece was more of a let go of something that was buried inside of you for quite a while, and trying to get it out is forming a grin on your face every step you get closer to finally exhaling the problem or just that of the 'secret', probably. Nice work, family. My blessings..
    test
  3. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    "when I sleep
    nightmares arent my worst fears
    her name pleases the tongue
    but hurts ears
    and breaks hearts
    her beauty is a masterpiece
    so i must escape art"

    nice picture write there. Feeling this piece and it's honesty

    one luv
    test
  4. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

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    "It brings smiles; births tears
    when I sleep
    nightmares arent my worst fears
    her name pleases the tongue
    but hurts ears
    and breaks hearts
    her beauty is a masterpiece
    so i must escape art"
    ^^^
    i agree with mind soul i was really feeling that part....you use words nicely i always like your stuff.....this piece had a nice little rhythm to it as well.....
    test
  5. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    ^
    test
  6. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

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    thx for the love guys/gals
    test
  7. UnknownLady

    UnknownLady Senior Member

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    Nice piece you expressed ur emoitons very well in this. Good job. Keep it up.

    Out
    test
  8. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

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    thx for the lovin'
    test
  9. vinous

    vinous New Member

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    my heart knocks, but
    this is no joke
    Fingertips write but cant quite quote

    Puppetmasters strings are tight
    but I'm only half strung
    ^^^
    luv the word play here
    test
  10. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

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    thanks vin
    test
  11. mocha_licious

    mocha_licious New Member

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    that was deep.............this was like a read between the lines piece to me....like the subjects life imitating how society is alll the while never really being free to be his or herself...able to feel strong love, but not able to enjoy it.....mos def a dope piece....i love ur work.....every piece u drop is always on time....u know wha i mean?...alwayz///~one love~
    test
  12. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

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    thx again
    test
  13. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    her beauty is a masterpiece
    so i must escape art

    ^^i liked those lines.

    this was really nice..i loved the topic...maybe cuz we always have that one thing that we feel we can't tell anybody. good job.
    test
  14. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

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    test
  15. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest

    whoa, so many quotables...

    excellent writing in my opinion..good job on keeping ME interested throughout the piece..it takes a lot for a poem to really grab me and not let go until the end...i might as well just quote the whole piece and tell you that was my favorite part..

    cya
    test
  16. varentao

    varentao New Member

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    For me, it started off as a journey. You just pulled me along till you started to get towards the middle, then all the way to the end.

    That's where it really got me. "one mistake i never made"..i never mull over that for too long, and rarely do it anyway, full stop. But when sometimes i do, it....okay, i'll stop there..(!)...

    ...but yeah, i most definetly felt this. It may not have been exactly from your perspective (though of course, about my one true), i got my own...

    ...dayumn, i'm actually grinning as well as frowning right now...at the way the piece was (described above) and the meaning behind it...

    ..resp...
    test
  17. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

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    thank you for the critique varentao
    test
  18. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

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    Now I wanna know what the secret is...are you a woman that used to be a man that used to be a woman...but is now a man again? I liked this joint. Now your secret isn't such a big secret anymore. lol
    test
  19. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

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    its a secret...shhhhh
    test
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