"My Lover" (Parody of Shakespeare's "Sonnet 130")

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by -RC-, Nov 2, 2005.

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  1. -RC-

    -RC- Wordsman

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Messages:
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    Sup guys, just getting back into the swing of things, wrote up a little poem I thought some of you may enjoy, nothing too fancy here just a parody of an old Shakespeare Sonnet I really enjoyed reading in British Lit class lol. *edited it a bit so its not one big thing*

    My Lover

    My lover is not perfect,
    nor is she as complete as our circular earth is.
    A goddess, she is not for certain,
    and if she attempted a broadway show
    I would probably close the curtain.
    An angel, well far from it,
    and if she attempted to try to fly
    she would most certainly plummet.
    And if she claimed Cleopatra's style,
    I would tell her outright she was
    clearly in denile.

    But a time may come
    A day may arise
    when dogs can talk
    and pigs can fly...

    But until that day, I must preach
    that perfection it seems, is out of her reach.
    Some talk of locks of gold,
    but I doubt my lover's hair would equal
    that much, if sold.
    And some speak of beauty forever,
    but my lover's features will fade
    like a tree seeming weathered.
    And she'll never have the voice
    of a trained opera star,
    but some say they're lovers
    sweet voice sings so far.

    Some poets strive to
    make their lovers cry,
    by preaching sweet things
    that they know is a lie...

    My lover, though she may not be perfect
    is the one that I love
    and truly she's worth it.
    Ten folds more beautiful
    than any fair goddess
    which might not seem modest
    but I am truly honest.
    And if you dare to ask if she's equal to a queen,
    I would tell you she's not, but she is perfect to me.
    test
  2. absolute zero

    absolute zero Among the living

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2004
    Messages:
    11,770
    Some poets strive to
    make their lovers cry,
    by preaching sweet things
    that they know is a lie...

    My lover, though she may not be perfect
    is the one that I love
    and truly she's worth it.
    Ten folds more beautiful
    than any fair goddess
    which might not seem modest
    but I am truly honest.
    And if you dare to ask if she's equal to a queen,
    I would tell you she's not, but she is perfect to me.

    That was really deep. Anyone can appreciate honesty in a poem, whether it be "right" or "Wrong".....I like how you played along with this one. And shakespeare.......Blows my mind....lol. He is so much........more than me. lol. Either way, Thanks for your feedback, and I'm sorry if this response is too vague.....college calls....

    God bless.
    test
  3. Novaman: RaWKiLLa

    Novaman: RaWKiLLa New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2001
    Messages:
    2,253
    "Some poets strive to
    make their lovers cry,
    by preaching sweet things
    that they know is a lie...:

    True o so true....cause that is what I try to do. Really good job on this peice, man. This was nice and deep. I remember talking to my friends about love, beauty and happinesss etc.
    test
  4. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    awwww this was very good RC.....that twist on the common love poem....I love this.....many times us poets do paint our lovers up as perfect angels where they have NO flaw....but in reality this is never the case.....I think this poem was heart warming and funny....being very ironic but on a serious note....I got alot from this

    thanks for peeping my poem....I didnt forget you

    stick around man always a pleasure
    test
  5. ~Eloquent

    ~Eloquent Narcissistic....

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2003
    Messages:
    4,076
    the best women though are the ones that do admit their mistakes
    stay levelheaded and show devotion...
    i think devotion is a great trait for your lover...
    devotion....one of the hardest things to find in someone
    this wasnt anything special though i can appreciate it for what it is....
    just an honest poem about the honest person in your life...
    test
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