My Dream

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by N A S T Y, Feb 28, 2011.

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  1. N A S T Y

    N A S T Y Well-Known Member

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    I wrote this a while back for the RSTL.... I hope you enjoy

    MY DREAM

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    atop the hill sits my dream, lit up by a crack of light from the sun's beam
    once it signified my lord supreme, now i realize it's all a scheme
    an evil regime designed to exploit the masses
    from the rich to poor classes, it doesn't matter no passes
    they'll make you all look like asses

    “There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.”

    from a young age i was taught to believe, in that omnipotous being
    one that reigns supreme, and I ate it all up i was so naive
    i bought it all how i could i not see? it was so clear right in front of me
    i vowed to follow that man's word, even when my prayers went unanswered
    i believed it all no matter how absurd, he was my shepherd
    and i was content to be one of the herd

    and now i stand here at the foot of the hill, my life at a standstill

    i'm grown now nobody leading the way, nobody telling me what to think or what to say
    so it's up to me to follow him and never stray, he's the reason i make it through the day
    but my life is still empty it must be a lack of faith
    so i ask for guidance yet the faith never comes, but yet i'm told he's the almighty one
    why is there hunger in slums? why are there homeless digging for crumbs?
    why is there war? why isn't everyone blessed with freedom?

    just read that book you were given, who care's if it's been rewritten

    in the back of my mind the questions are alive, "has my whole life been a lie?"
    "where will i go when i die?" "is there really a heaven up in the sky"
    "will this great man be waiting for me when i arrive?"
    no it can't be true it, is he real? where's he at? has to be the book teaches that
    in 6 days he created the map, and on the seventh he rested, WAIT this man needs a nap?

    how can i believe in this being when logic is overseen? and still i'm intrigued

    where did we come from? how did we come to be? of course it's Adam and Eve
    evolution is crap right? it's easy to see, it wasn't nature it was a talking snake in a tree
    as i walk up the path that church casts a shadow on me
    atop the hill sits my dream, and even though i don't believe, i pray to god i'm deceived
    i hope he can see, why i would question MY DREAM, as i pull open the door and realize it's EMPTY

    JUST LIKE MY DREAM



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  2. N A S T Y

    N A S T Y Well-Known Member

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    63 views.... at least people are clicking on it lol
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  3. TheIlliterate

    TheIlliterate Well-Known Member

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    it's dope man.
    really well structured, keep this shit up.
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  4. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

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    lots of holes in the philosophy, shows ignorance on your part. As far as the poetry it is a little less than mediocre. Nothing spectacular about it. It's more of a struggling Christian complaint rant. There is no structure and no artistic development. It is just plain english, more like something someone would say in a conversation...of course with a few end rhymes. This was decent if anything....I know this is old but perhaps you should post up something new.
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  5. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    that's NASTY right there!^^ yo nasty SUCH character development, u really came from a place of experience and it radiates thru this composition, never knew u had it in ya .. i'm excited over this piece.. a lot of topics touched in here that haven't been discussed like:

    pretty good writer voice imo.. maybe u should spend some time writing more often nasty.. u got talent, and i'd read it if not any one...
    test
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