Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Ignorant, Dec 22, 2005.
Hmm... if it is a girl, like Chris Rock said, "my job will be to keep her off of the pole."
True... I come from a single-parent household myself... and despite my mother's best intentions, she could never be my father... which is why I don't agree with single mothers continually shouting, "I'm your mother and father"... there is just no way that a woman can replace the void that is left by an absentee father... NO WAY... sorry ladies, no disrespect... but it's real... and the pain is still there... I'm reminded everytime I watch that "Fresh Prince" episode when Wil's father Lou came back and then left again.
Word!! I plan to do everything my father never did... #1 is 'be there.'
Hell, I got plenty of melanin... and I'm gonna respond by saying, "you're fuckin' A, right, babe"... truth be told, I grew up listening to Bon Jovi!!
I don't think its wrong to feel that way, at all... it's a serious experience and people usually make it sound a lot scarier than it is. When I had my youngest, his dad was standing there holding my hand the entire time (he didn't get to do that with our first)... when it got down to the hard part (pushing) he got woozy and damn near fainted... the doctor had the nurse hand him a seat, told him to sit down and warned him not to get back up again!
But hollywood dramatics aside, childbirth is such a beautiful and bonding experience... there is no feeling in this world like seeing your seed being born... you'll never look at your wife the same... and I believe it helps the father bond w/his child even moreso than if he weren't there to witness it. It'll definitely change you, in a good way though IMO... I think you'd really be cheating yourself and your family (wife and child) if you missed out on it... and you'd probably regret it later on down the line.
How exciting... you go boy! [dick]
with you around, I have no DOUBT her little behind won't even know what a pole is... till' she goes off to college, that is... even then its still a "MAYBE"... you strike me as the type of pops that would be very protective... especially when you start thinking about how you were back in college.
On second thought, she'll probably be home schooled all the way through her Master's program.
See, I'd definitely have to be sittin' down if I were to go in there... her pops wants to be there, too, so I think that will help... most men don't like to show signs of weakness in front of other men... it's a primal thing.
There has to be a balance, nawimean?
Because in college, all of the girls from strict households were the most buckwild... many girls lost their virginity there and became FAMOUS... if you know what I mean?
But seriously, though... I'm still not down wit dating at 13... and no phone calls after 10 p.m. I just have to meet every guy she's talking to... that's all. Oh, and her bedroom is going to be on the 2nd level in the back, next to ours, with bars on the windows.
I just have to make sure that she sees me treating her mother right so that she will expect nothing less from a man... and to shower her with affection so that she doesn't go looking for it through strictly "physical" means with other guys.
don't worry... he'll be in there crying like a little school girl, too... ain't nothin 'weak' about gettin' choked up at the birth of a little one... it's so awe inspiring... don't be ashamed... let it flow, brotha... let it flow [game]
<------ Exhibit A. I grew up in a really strict Christian household, got "grown" and went a little buck my damn self... though it didn't take me going to college for that to happen... I totally bypassed the "college" stage to circumvent my parents' rule and went straight to living on my own as soon as I was old enough to sign my own lease... my house was a frikin' den of sin! (not that kind, I had a man... but we were doing THE MOST) My father refused to visit my home while we were living "in sin" (unmarried and living together).
lol @ living on the second floor... maaaaan... I could tell you some stories... but I don't want to scare you just yet. Those are really great ideas, my dad tried them too (kids just get more and more creative!)... I feel you on the rules - kids needs limits and structure - but you really can't forget to focus on allowing your daughter to feel comfortable enough to openly communicate with you... I think thats extremely important. I was one of those quite ones that made excellent grades, always did as I was told and never talked back... but was creeping every chance I got... but shit, my dad was/is a scarey dude! I feel sorry for my younger sister (16), my older sister and I really fucked it up for her... she can't do SHIT! [funny] Anyway, the point is that you have to be approacheable.
leading by example... SO important! young women NEED to see that... I can't even stress that enough.
Honestly... I think you'll be a great father. I know that we disagree on things and that I tease you and give you a hard time, but that's just cause I like ya (otherwise I'd ignore you)... I have no doub that you are going to do the best that you can, and be terrfic at it... your wife is blessed... and if you ever do really wanna get down with that polygamy thang, holler at your girl! LOL
You definitely have the basics covered. Now, get a gun (my dad did... I found 'em... DAMN I was bad! [funny]).
p.s. this messages was brought to you courtesy of 4 3/4 glasses of egg nog & brandy!
Psst... don't tell anybody... but I can't even watch a tender flick or listen to Tupac's "Dear Mama" without droppin' a few tears... I don't know what's happened to me... I used to be so hardcore... *beats chest*... *ouch!*
I just hope I don't pass out... I'm most worried about that
Your pops sounds like me... what a great man!
Scratch the room next to ours idea... wifey is a screamer... don't want the little one hearing that.
Yeah, no doubt... we're having family meetings and whatnot... just like on The Cosbys.
My kids will be allowed to express their opinions about anything... it doesn't mean I will let them have their way all of the time, though... but I will hear them out.
And if I'm ever wrong (and that's a BIG "IF"... hehe), I will have no problem saying "I'm sorry." Kids don't hear that from their parents enough... because parents are not always right.
It won't be just... "What!!??!" and *SMACK!*
Aww, you're so sweet... [kissu]
We might have to move to Utah... did you hear about the judge with 3 wives?
Nah, that was Solomon's downfall... can't be practicing Baal worship.
...and video monitoring surveillance, laser beam alarms, 3 pitbulls, etc.
Comes with age...lol ;o)
Nah but for real. The birth of a child is the most powerful thing ever. My husband shed a few tears. It was the sweetest thing ever!! It's a wonderful experience.
^^^ I agree it does come with age...lol
But don't worry about passing out, I think you will be fine... I've know alot of men who thought the same thing yet none of them actually have. With my first I had to get *ahem* cut in a certain area and my dude said he just saw blood coming pouring down into a bowl on the floor.. He had said previously that if he saw to much blood during my labour he would get woozy but he made it through.. You will be good :wink:
you're a fool for that one [funny]
you won't pass out... might feel a bit overwhelmed, but you won't pass out. It's a beautiful thang, though... enjoy the ride.
you would say that.
TMI, dude. I heard my dad and his wife once when my room was next to theirs (my window was next to their sliding back door)... I heard her yelling out some bullshit, so I yelled out "are you kidding me...?!?!?!"... lol... that deaded all that freaky deaky real quick... SO not cool to hear your parents going at it.
we used to have a weekly bible study at our house back when I was in high school... all the homies used to come, too... we'd talk about sex, watch movies about "the rapture", and all that jazz. We had family "meetings" every week, too... we could take about chores, why I had to go to church EVERY sunday, why I felt I shouldn't have to be responsible for cleaning the kitchen even on days when I spent the night at my firend's house, why my black ass hadn't been to 5th period science class for the last two months, etc... with the exception of my mother, my parents were very disconnected from what it was to be a teenager.
LMFAO... yeah, that's all bad... that kind of "because I said so" attitude will only serve to further the divide... especially during the teenage years. I'm kind of scared... my oldest is almost there and I'm afraid that I might "have it coming to me", as they say... please, pray for me.
wow.. that's big! Congratulations.. do the right thing!
that has been my ole man sayin since he saw that lol...since she was two he been saying stay of that pole now you hear me lol
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