It's the second time it's happened. And it does just sorta happened. It's not like I planned for this. But just so we're clear, I didn't actually DO anything. I mean, if the feds come knocking on my dear, just so we're clear as a button, I plead the fifth and am not saying anything here to incriminate myself should any such crime ever possibly occured but to cover my bases I'll say now that this is a work of fiction and a work of satire. So am I being for real? Am I making shit up? You decide. Unless you're like... a judge or lawyer or something presiding over my cate in sourt and this is somehow evidence of some shenanigans (which I'm totally not up to.) I killed someone. I didn't really, of course. Even if that someone is dead, I still didn't kill them. I just sort of taught them how to kill oneself. You think killing yourself is easy, well it is. But for some people it can be harder than others. Pills and alcohol are a terrible mixture and don't always work. Guns aren't always as readily available as the liberal media would have you believe, and also don't always work. (Ever seen what happens when someone survives a twelve gauge to the face? It aint pretty.) Even skyscrapers don't always work, and often can be difficult to find for those in rural areas. But I know how to kill oneself. I know tried and true methods that always work. Both painful, and non painful. If you simply wanted to cease to exist, or if you wanted to punish yourself, well I'm your go-to girl for that information. It's just that I don't share this information with just anyone. It was another site, reddit or 4chan or possibly another hip-hop forum, of course, where someone made a confession. The confession was that they were a pedophile, they were attracted to underdeveloped children. Now, to me, pedophiles are about the worst people in the world. At least along side other forms of child abuse. So my moral compass could give fuck less about such a jabroni. But what's interesting is this is the second time it's happened... where the pedophile confesses that they wish to die. Interesting. I know all about how to die. I may or may not have shared such information with this person who may or may not exist and who may or may not have actually used it to off themself. But it's interesting because it's easy, and it makes me feel good, and I could just keep doing this. I've been told more than once that I'm rather depressing to talk to. I suppose I have a lot to be depressed about. But could you imagine such a thing? Like one day, in the city of Chicago or New York or Seattle, there up in the sky is a man on the edge, and on a ledge, threatening to jump. When all of a sudden a leather bound masked vigilante with big puffy hair swoops in. Everyone thinks this person is here to rescue the man but no... no, instead she says, "Hey fucker, I know you. You're a kiddy fiddler. I just got done examining your computer in your office you just left opened. C'mon man, that's wrong, you know it's wrong. It's a feeling you have inside of you, and it's never going away so it's probably just best to jump now. If you don't jump, I will call the cops on you and you will go to prison. They don't treat pedophiles well in prison, you will be the bottom bitch all of all bitches, they will fuck your shit up, they won't even care. It's torture, mother fucker, torture. You jump now, you really should jump now, your dead it's over, and best of all you won't ever hurt anyone ever again. So really, just kill yourself because it will honestly make the world a better place. Your only chance of redemption is to kill the monster inside of you." I think it'd be pretty sweet. I mean really, I could do this, right? Just take to finding pedophiles online and getting them to kill themselves. Is that so wrong?