Mr. Vinosity

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by the omega man, Nov 28, 2010.

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  1. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    Messages:
    614
    Mr. Vinosity
    (11/28/2010)

    It will
    Crystallize
    And his sapphire veins
    Will become lapidarian pine straw

    Should he
    Exercise
    His tainted carpus
    They will become amenable again

    Un-strap
    Neckties
    The baron feels smug
    No will to quarrel amongst jealous kings

    He will
    Disguise
    The trail of mime eyes
    With one brushstroke of polyester paint
    test
  2. Ra Ill

    Ra Ill New Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2003
    Messages:
    618
    He will
    Disguise
    The trail of mime eyes
    With one brushstroke of polyester paint

    this was nice shit just felt right

    It will
    Crystallize
    And his sapphire veins
    Will become lapidarian pine straw

    once again this was another part i liked shit was coolness

    Un-strap
    Neckties
    The baron feels smug
    No will to quarrel amongst jealous kings

    you went on some thinking shit right here loving it i wish there was more that you could of wrote but with what you wrote it was all good
    test
  3. Awethentec

    Awethentec New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2010
    Messages:
    1,045
    wow nice vocab and imagery, I like the medium that you chose it really personifies the content well. No need to quote anything as I thought the piece as a whole was definitely on point. The thing that really blows me away is the power of the piece and how well you conveyed your imagery with very few words.

    Again, really great piece.

    1
    test
  4. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    Messages:
    614
    where's your reply coup?
    test
  5. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,096
    It's here omega, sry late; I just saw this gem :p

    as the others have been saying, the imagery in this is fairly striking and well placed. This poem is the best piece of writing Ive read of you yet.

    how do you interpret this omega? Drug addiction is a nasty thing

    It will
    Crystallize
    And his sapphire veins
    Will become lapidarian pine straw


    I love the sapphire veins and that the becoming of lapidarian pine starw. Amazing :D


    Should he
    Exercise
    His tainted carpus
    They will become amenable again

    I like here the contemplation of articulation and if he does the signs it will show. You used very nice imagery here again


    Un-strap
    Neckties
    The baron feels smug
    No will to quarrel amongst jealous kings

    He will
    Disguise
    The trail of mime eyes
    With one brushstroke of polyester paint

    a fantastic stanza here. Mime eyes, nice touch!
    test
  6. eM_eighch

    eM_eighch Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2010
    Messages:
    579
    dsamn this was crazy
    test
  7. xCimmiCx

    xCimmiCx ^¿~bless~?^

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2001
    Messages:
    289
    Un-strap
    Neckties
    The baron feels smug
    No will to quarrel amongst jealous kings


    my favorite set right here... nice to see someone still bringing some imagery... i honestly thought this forum dead til i started reading your stuff... nice use of vocab also, i'm not gonna lie had to look one word up, which hasn't happened to me since... well prolly since i joined here in 2001... anyways... great piece looking forward for me!!

    -CimmiC
    test
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