Mocha, Rosa and Feme Sole present...

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Feme Sole, Aug 26, 2003.

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  1. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

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    Whats a woman?.....check it

    Mochalicious:
    CREATED FROM MAN'S RIB/WITHIN HUMID ATMOSPHERE/A MIND COMBINED WITH MAN'S/TO GRASP EMOTIONS AND SOOTHE CHILDREN'S SOULS/FEATURES AND DEMENTIONS ORIGINAL AND UNSPOKEN/ ALTHOUGH VISUAL TO MAN'S EYES/ INSPIRING BILLIONS/PROVIDING DETAIL TO NATURE'S SCENE/ GIVING FORMAT TO PRONOUNS/EQUALING TO "HE" AS "SHE" AND "HIS" TO "HERS"/BEGINNING PERSONALITY/ POSESSING WIT AND EMOTION/PASSION STEMMING AND ROOTS STRONG/MIGHTY ALTHOUGH MEEK/CLASSY YET SENSUAL.............

    Feme Sole:
    She is a mother, teacher, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, lawyer, hooker, homemaker, poetess, victim, heroine…..
    Some are all and all are some.
    They don’t need his rib
    All though some crave its affections.
    They want to be on top even if it means banishment.
    A warrior princess
    that holds the portal of life
    between her delicate limbs.
    That is her.
    Some might refer to her as a bitch or a whore.
    It’s true She has lost many battles
    but never a war.
    She’s lovely and breaks the hearts of men,
    But it’s only because she wants to give HERS to them.
    A few sleep with men for punishment,
    Others for reward.
    She is all woman
    Can you hear her roar?
    (I can, and until I lost everything
    I didn’t quite understand
    That you can be ALL woman
    But equal to a man.)
    She is amazed With Shakespeare
    But she was never into the whole
    ‘woe is me’ thing.
    Shes a work in progress
    And she knows it very well.
    Fury like hers?
    not even in hell...
    She fell from heaven
    and blessed you with life.

    Rosa:
    Suddenly you grabbed her hips, held on
    And wouldn’t let go…
    As delicate as her skin was to touch, it was thick
    As silky as her hair felt, it was tough…..
    A woman
    Shouldn’t be reason enough to love…
    Anyone could push her away and know
    That she would always stay
    Because you need her light
    She could be so wrong, but IT is so right…..
    Like a thief in the night
    If others saw her during the bright days
    They may stop to try and misunderstand what she means
    When she says
    In these faults you may see
    What divinity may be…
    Many men have packed their bags to further examine
    Newer things
    To try and make sense of a monstrosity..
    Instead of, ‘what’s in this woman,
    What is she about?’
    They all walked on by, but I know
    Her story, her being is something that cannot be lived
    Without
    A mind too powerful
    No one could prepare for Her decisions
    Of not wanting to blow cultures apart
    Instead, to mend with her arms, and heal many hearts
    This woman lives her life knowing,
    Very few will know how to appreciate
    A fine piece of Art…
    …Despite all the torn feelings encountered on her path
    She has managed, and brought what she could of life,
    And proudly lifted it up into this world, to shine
    Shine
    She shines…
    test
  2. Jamez Xavier

    Jamez Xavier In House Producer for FTS

    Joined:
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    Ya see..!!
    This is why I Love Women..!!
    test
  3. GorillaThugMC

    GorillaThugMC Minotaur Orator

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2003
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    1,074
    Yay!

    I enjoyed this more than any other piece from any of you!

    Mocha
    needs
    to
    learn

    To do her shit in THAT format though, and take off the caps for Christ's sake.

    Other than that, I enjoyed this.
    test
  4. !Mpulse

    !Mpulse Who is really illy ill???

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    beautiful.... nice work ladies

    my favorite line is:

    She?s lovely and breaks the hearts of men,
    But it?s only because she wants to give HERS to them

    goodwork
    test
  5. THE INFAMOUS

    THE INFAMOUS Puffin Chocolate Swishers

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2003
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    154
    very good piece... this was deep.
    test
  6. ARCHITECT

    ARCHITECT New Member

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    Everyone came with a diferent perspective on the definition of being a woman and you all did that well. I think it would have been a bit better if you all made it into a cypher breaking off lines/ like trading five bars each or more and continue off each others thoughts but they are three strong pieces without alot of emotion and expression.
    test
  7. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

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    Apr 13, 2002
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    :( we are all busy grrls dro....no time for that ;)


    but yeah thanks for the replies......i love these grrls
    test
  8. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest


    Bwahaha..you funny man.

    Thanks though.
    test
  9. masterragu

    masterragu Sweep The Leg, Johnny!

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 1999
    Messages:
    74,914
    Definitly a great piece

    And of course i like all three of you cause you know, uhh your cool

    But yeah Feme you are just dreamy ;)...
    test
  10. *does a weird thumb and finger clap*

    *tips beret to the three of you*

    I'm lovin' it... full of estrogen representin' for the female specimen. GRRL POWER
    test
  11. mocha_licious

    mocha_licious New Member

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    2,740
    nice....good work ladies....fire mos def
    test
  12. mocha_licious

    mocha_licious New Member

    Joined:
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    for christ's sake look at my work sometime.......then u shall see...
    test
  13. Speedy Gunzalez

    Speedy Gunzalez Awareness is my Alias

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2001
    Messages:
    9,400
    As Architecht said, each person came with their different perspective of "what a woman is" and each, for the most part, complimented the other.

    Mocha, I enjoyed the description in your verse and its fluidity. Feme, I also love your wordplay (you remind me of a female version of myself...lol). You're also very creative. Rosa, I liked your description as well. However, some parts were not as strong as others.

    Great job overall ladies. Here are the lines that I enjoyed by each poet:

    Mocha:

    PROVIDING DETAIL TO NATURE'S SCENE/ GIVING FORMAT TO PRONOUNS/EQUALING TO "HE" AS "SHE" AND "HIS" TO "HERS"/BEGINNING PERSONALITY/

    Feme:

    A warrior princess
    that holds the portal of life
    between her delicate limbs.

    She’s lovely and breaks the hearts of men,
    But it’s only because she wants to give HERS to them.
    A few sleep with men for punishment,
    Others for reward.
    She is all woman
    Can you hear her roar?

    Rosa:

    Many men have packed their bags to further examine
    Newer things
    To try and make sense of a monstrosity..
    Instead of, ‘what’s in this woman,
    What is she about?’
    They all walked on by, but I know
    Her story, her being is something that cannot be lived


    GOOD COLLAB : )
    test
  14. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    Apr 10, 2001
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    17,331
    Feelin the different aspects you three came with, that's what made it. I have no complaints really, but mocha please! I beg of you, chill with the caps!!!!!!

    one luv
    test
  15. 49th Prophet

    49th Prophet Dark Magic Inferno

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2003
    Messages:
    1,110
    damn! all three of you coming with that deep shit, this collab's settin shit on fire, hot..ladies keep it up...much love

    peace
    test
  16. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    *applauds*

    girls, it gave me chills. rarely does a piece do that. i sense extraordinary passion in this piece..loved it beginning to end. amazing work.
    test
  17. artassociatez

    artassociatez F*ck off

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    829
    *applauds*
    ill stuff nice work ladies
    test
  18. eatemup

    eatemup New Member

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    Apr 25, 2002
    Messages:
    2,805
    well dam what can i say that hasn't been said very nice drop
    test
  19. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest

    Thank you Speedy, Mind~$oul, 49th, lala, art, and in4it :) :)
    test
  20. tk2oo3

    tk2oo3 New Member

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    2,082
    aight.. feme sole --> dont be lazy you couldve broke up mocha's lines.. now the 3 styles are mismatches as well as the stories.. its 3 different stories.. it should read as one story from 3 different people.. i think fukkedupkidr came best far as i know pieces like these are your specialty (love related pieces).. personally i felt fukkedupkidr came 3rd person but described a woman in a way that was so true to life.. mocha came with explanation, feme the same wit a lil imagery.. feme get out that fantasy land of superwoman.. feme came wit imagery but i mean that was really used in a wrong way i mean feme use negative images in a positive way.. theres a hooker portrayed as a heroine.. then she is called bitch or whore.. those cant be left as they are they need some sort of justification on the woman's part, the woman's just insulted an left alone that dont work, defend that woman an make her seem like a blessing or an angel.. aight mocha.. lacks imagery an a concrete idea.. dont know what else to say keep elevatin.. i dont know mocha/feme sole came off too much dependent on men in their verses fukkedupkidr actually twisted that shit an flipped it to men are dependent on women.. i liked that.. like i said styles mismatched.. imagery & concreteness need work.. i think its fine that fukkedupkidr came 3rd person cuz it was done right but mocha/feme needed to come first person or jus work out the imagery & ideas.. aight.. good ideas but underdeveloped this really needed more effort to be put into it.. keep elevatin..
    test
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