~Memphis Melody:Part 2~

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Mind~$oul, May 20, 2004.

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  1. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    Quick keystyle I did. When I posted part 1, that was around when lpoet first came to the realm. Doubt anybody here now was here long enough to see that one.


    where i'm from dreams are shattered
    by the next man's
    gun...
    at an early age i seen the
    blood run...
    bullet holes burned out
    his chest...
    bubbles of blood oozed out his mouth
    as he fought for the little life
    he had left...
    he was my other half
    my twin...
    kissed him goobye
    I was 6..
    told him i'll see him again
    in heaven...
    grew older, now i no longer believe
    in the shit...

    where i'm from we had so called
    geniuses...
    now preaching from bible
    pages...
    bragged about how they had it
    all...
    but let the alochol...become there
    downfall...
    when i was
    younger...
    they use to throw
    out numbers...
    of their so called
    IQ's....
    i'm nearly 20 and them
    same fools...
    are still sittin out on
    they front stoops...
    tellin us what they could have done
    and what we
    should do...
    hope breaking
    loose...
    from their dreams
    they abused...

    where i'm from the people u
    played hide n
    seek with...
    grow up to be the ones wanting to
    put you in your
    casket...
    and as time went on you slowly
    begin to unmask
    shit...
    and wonder where the
    past went...?

    This melody is common in a
    broken household...
    mama danced and gave up pussy to put food on
    an empty table...
    only if she didnt relapsed and spent the money
    on blow...
    ever noticed how fast a broken hearted
    child grows...?
    and forgets to nuture his
    soul....
    fears the
    bible...
    and wonders
    away from home...
    runs a burning path
    while his hearts continues
    to beat slow...
    i lost
    control...
    when she died
    in my helpless
    hold...

    where i'm from to dream of anything
    in hopes of it becoming
    reality...
    is like spittin in the face of
    "almighty"...
    in fact...
    spittin in his face in person
    may be a greater
    chance...
    .....they ask...
    how can i say such things...
    and not be hurt by
    it...
    life is too harsh around my way to not
    be honest...
    raw and uncut this is the life of a
    street poet....



    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=745333

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=745649

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=743898
    test
  2. Bhitiah

    Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures

    Joined:
    May 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,173
    "when i was
    younger...
    they use to throw
    out numbers...
    of their so called
    IQ's....
    i'm nearly 20 and them
    same fools...
    are still sittin out on
    they front stoops...
    tellin us what they could have done
    and what we
    should do...
    hope breaking
    loose...
    from their dreams
    they abused..." <<<<whoaaaaaaaaaaa




    "ever noticed how fast a broken hearted
    child grows...?
    and forgets to nuture his
    soul....
    fears the
    bible...
    and wonders
    away from home...
    runs a burning path
    while his hearts continues
    to beat slow...
    i lost
    control...
    when she died
    in my helpless
    hold..." <<amazing



    Your Just Freaking Amazing.
    test
  3. This piece was great! It all seemed so simply put and powerfull at the same time..maybe because it was real. I dunno, you managed to say so much, and you delivered some great irony, and you were bordering on humour in places. with the IQ etc. You brought something home with this, you explored the addictions, the troubles in society, the time wasting, and tied the simple things that happen often, with a delicacy of fine tuned perception to what the reprocussions are. you managed to put this together in a way that just jumps out at you.

    kissed him goodbye
    I was 6..
    told him i'll see him again
    in heaven...
    grew older, now i no longer believe
    in the shit...


    really nice, I wanna say more about this but but im tired...

    stay up, keep ya head up, mon
    test
  4. Quintin_Warden

    Quintin_Warden Online Terrorist

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2004
    Messages:
    563
    street philosopher pinero hahaha i like this peice alot because its the type of poetry that i like. i can relate. i really liked the feling potrayed and the emotion. i felt it. word. keep up
    test
  5. iLL Script.

    iLL Script. ~Poetic~

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2002
    Messages:
    15,884
    where i'm from dreams are shattered
    by the next man's
    gun...
    at an early age i seen the
    blood run...
    bullet holes burned out
    his chest...


    sounds like here. ruff world we live in ain't it. nice keystyle, glad 2 finally see somethin' new from u again
    stay up
    test
  6. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2003
    Messages:
    2,940

    Yea man the im with Brit, the depth and perseption of this piece is fucking crazy. Never seen you come so hard and it all just seems so real. Tough I guess when you think about it, but that's life... Hard and ugly at times, but we must grin and bare till we can say happiness has arrived, it's all in the paths of our greatter stepping stones. You can choose to continue the path or get caught up and lose sight of what was infront of you, confusing steps, not remembering if left came before right and vise versa.

    Im just loving the realness man... It seems so hard, I get the feeling that this was life for you. Ya just wrote what you saw and put all that truth into this emotion filled piece. taking us through what your past saw, a story of how MINDSOUL came to be.

    "ever noticed how fast a broken hearted
    child grows...?
    and forgets to nuture his
    soul....
    fears the
    bible...
    and wonders
    away from home..."

    I was that child once so I can feel those lines greatly, that really was the part of the piece that struckme as just being what I went through, what I saw as truth. Felt that way for a while, never able to come up with words to say it. Really loved that part

    This whole piece was just fire and I can't stress that enough. I think this is the most hardest piece I've seen from you, emotional wise and just strength in getting you message across. the street poet lives...

    O yea I also like how you followed rules by posting links of pieces you replied to, is that even neccissary tho, everyone knows you reply to some of the most shit in here. Justing trying to lead by example, w/e... do ya thing, LOL

    Stay Up, Much Love, Peace
    test
  7. Bhitiah

    Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures

    Joined:
    May 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,173
    This should have more replys, this was incredible. That's uncool.
    test
  8. xGTx

    xGTx The Rock

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2002
    Messages:
    1,162
    Very Long But Worth the Wait! Great Read! Nice Piece
    test
  9. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    umm thanks for the love people

    uppin one last time
    test
  10. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    well i gave u a really detailed reply over the net..so i'll just say that this was another very emotional piece by you...i like the depth of it and how it runs so smoothly

    only gripe about the piece was the where i'm from parts

    but thats very minor..i just felt like that stood alone to well to just scatter around in this poem

    anyhow

    good shit man

    Upin for the sleepers
    test
  11. shakes86

    shakes86 *BrOkeN_SoUL*

    Joined:
    May 25, 2004
    Messages:
    21
    i like those lines from the 1st reply too, real dope......
    test
  12. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    damn...wake up
    test
  13. nathedawg

    nathedawg New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,804
    you really are just freaking amazing dawg
    test
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