Marriage & Last Names

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Lost Prophet, Oct 30, 2006.

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  1. Lost Prophet

    Lost Prophet 11/04/2000 - 06/19/2009

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    I find it somewhat disrespectful when females hyphenate their last names after marriage. Seriously, what’s the point? The way I see it, it’s all or nothing. Granted, I can understand if you were famous before you getting married, and your last name is widely recognized (Jada Pinkett for example), but other than that, I’m not going for it. To me, it seems like you’re not giving your all to your husband by not dropping your maiden name and solely carrying his..

    Discuss!
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  2. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    i feel you but some of them keep it for business purposes ect. it all depends on how you look at it.
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  3. Brahman

    Brahman Mel Van Peebles

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    what up, LP



    [funny]

    wtf? @ this question though

    what happened to you, man? you used to be smart, introspective, and wouldn't dare post such ridiculousness

    "disrespectful", "not giving your all to your husband"?

    *shakes head*

    i hope you were joking with this, because you got a chuckle out of me


    i could see an argument that it's needlessly complicating the order and tradition (whose existence is rightfully subject to questioning and re-evaluation in the first place, btw), but but i don't see how it means the woman isn't being respectful or holding back. it's mostly an act of ceremony in my eyes, one in which non-participation shouldn't necessarily mean much. what do men normally do to ceremoniously show they've "given their all to their wives"?
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  4. Short2003

    Short2003 AbsoluteHotness

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    Hyphenation when you are the only person left to carry on the family name is the only reason would I could see anyone doing that.. My kids names are hyphenated, it's such a pain in the ass, I wish I wouldn't have done it..
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  5. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    We fall asleep.


    Nah seriously, since surnames were created by men and for men, I don't see how she can be exercising some "feminine power" by keeping or hyphenating a patriarch's name in the first place. I would respect a more valiant effort of creating a new name altogether... but no, it's "Johnson-Williams." Johnson came from "the SON of John." It was never YOUR name to begin with, dearie.
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  6. Lost Prophet

    Lost Prophet 11/04/2000 - 06/19/2009

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    What's up Brahman? Long time..

    Hahaha @ 'used to be'

    Anyway, I was dead serious in the orginal post. When women hyphenate their names after marriage, in my opinion, it's a sign of rebellion. It's sending a nonverbal message saying 'even though I married him, I'm still my own individual'. Now don't get me wrong, I know the woman is still her own individual and always will be, but hyphenating her last name isn't the way to prove that. As a matter of fact, it doesn't even need to be proved. You're marrying your husband.. you're taking him for what he is, the good along with the bad, so why not carry his last name?
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  7. Hidden_Poetry

    Hidden_Poetry New Member

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    I don't like hte whole hyphened thing either. I took on my husbands last name and obviously both our boys did as well.

    Although my drivers licence is still under my maiden name lol. Because when I went to change it, I forgot where I put my marriage licence lmao. Which is only proof that I'm married. I have it now, but just haven't bothered to change my licence over.
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  8. Speedy Gunzalez

    Speedy Gunzalez Awareness is my Alias

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    IN RESPONSE TO LOST PROPHET:

    It is viewed as "rebellious" for a women to take on a hyphenation after marriage because it challenges "manhood." You would find it absolutely risible, and most likely ludicrous, if a woman would ask you to adopt her last name because it would be in serious conflict with your socialized perception of how women and men should behave.

    Further, your position is problematic to the extent that it is holds an androcentric conception of marriage (not to mention homophobic) and reinforces male-domination in that women become slaves to patriarchical tradition.

    If your partner treats you appropriately why would it matter that she take on your last name?

    Is masculinity so bound up with the idea of a woman being "respectful" only when she take's on the last name of her husband that if she does not act accordingly, she is thought of as being "disrespectful?"
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  9. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I ain't changing shit. Whatever name is printed on my diploma(s) [once I'm all finished with school] is the name I'll be keeping forever. Its an unnecessary complication for me.
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  10. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    Dude, her last name is still patriarchal... so what's the point?

    Also, can you explain how LP's response was homophobic?
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  11. UnbrokeN

    UnbrokeN Well-Known Member

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    how is it homophobic and woman enslavement to make her keep the husbands name? like konscious said it wasnt a female name in the first place..i love how you instantly whip out the homophob and misogyny polltical correct driven bullshit in order to downtalk and categorize this mans honest and more than reasonable opinion. do you secretly wear high heels? men have always been dominant but that doesnt make women slaves you ignorant blunt minded piece of shit. it was rather men who were slaves for women because they worked their asses off in coal mines and cnstruction to support the women at home.
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  12. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    You two are comedy... seriously.
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  13. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    ^People laughed at Columbus when he said the world was round.
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  14. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    Seriously though, although unbroken and I may say it differently, is the essence of our statements untrue?

    Why accept popular conventions without questioning them?

    I always live by the socratic method, no matter how threatening it may be to some.
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  15. Lost Prophet

    Lost Prophet 11/04/2000 - 06/19/2009

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    Speedy Gunz, it's been a long time man. How's life been treating you?

    Please elaborate on how it's homophobic..

    Even if the wife does treat her husband appropriately, yes, it would still matter if she doesn't choose to adopt his last name. Like I said, it shows signs of rebellion when a woman chooses to hyphenate her last name. What is the point of still carrying your maiden name? A women's maiden name is the last name of her father.. So that male domination/patriarchical argument can be throw out the window. Either way, you are carrying the last name of a male, so why not your husband?


    Tight-Eyes, why are you letting the name that's printed on your diplomas/degrees be your deciding factor on this subject? And how is it an unnecessary complication?
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  16. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    ^I would love to see their answers to our questions... apparently, anything that challenges or confronts preconceived notions of feminism or "individuality," no matter how uninformed the stance, is seen as misogynist, homophobic... or even more absurd, "comedy."

    Oh, the horror of such neanderthal, ignorant men to actually question why women keep their own patriarchal surnames instead of adopting their husband's. Hang the woman-hatin' bastards by their balls!! It's okay, because we'll get acquitted by the justice system that favors us in crime and custody matters. Girl power rules!!!
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  17. Lost Prophet

    Lost Prophet 11/04/2000 - 06/19/2009

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    ^It should be interesting. I've yet to see one logical, straight-forward answer as to why a woman would choose to hyphenate her last name.
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  18. UnbrokeN

    UnbrokeN Well-Known Member

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    yes, because thats their poltical agenda/propaganda. it is a) always the mans fault and whenever men are being critisized by women or men it is law of the land and b) notice whenever you say anything critical in public concerning gays, women and jews you are almost instantly badged with the asshole sign and forced to shut up or regret your statements

    women are always seen as victims and like to portray themselves as such

    the west has become a pollitically correct hellhole and other opinions are instantly ridiculed and demonized
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  19. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    When one doesn't exist, you attack the person posing the question... ad hominen fallacies rule on RM... haven't you learned this by now?
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  20. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    Some complaints are warranted... and some are just knee-jerk reactions to imagined threats that have been conditioned to the receiver.
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