[Mag] Week 17 Magazine

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Shadow, May 10, 2012.

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  1. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    INTRO

    LADIES AND MASCULINE WOMEN, welcome to the Week 17 RSTL Magazine. Written by yours truly, the most excellent and untouchable, yet humble, Ink. If you missed the memo, the RSTL will go until week 20. Leaving enough time for people signed in to get fatigued and burn out, while giving people waiting to sign in for the tourney enough time to prewrite generic verses that they can tweak to fit a topic!

    Nom has been popping out here and there, like a mole in a Whack-A-Mole game. He’s last season’s winner and probably one of the few people GL respects. Who’s GL? RSTL’s self-proclaimed (as well as proclaimed by many others) asshole. He’ll tell you like it is… Oh, yes he will… If you’ve been wanting honest feedback… you can’t handle his brand of honesty. Stock up on those tissues, peeps… I know I am.

    On another note, someone needs to contract Bent and Cigma. Bent, because I need to beat him. Cigma, because I want to match up against him.

    What can you look forward to in this mag? Shameless ego stroking by me and an interview with SHADDY.

    Enjoy the mag, enjoy my amazingness, and get the word out about the tourney!
    test
  2. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    Week 16 Battle Recaps

    Patrown vs Breathless vs Kuja

    Patrown wins
    In one word, this battle was disappointing.
    Kuja no showed.
    Breathless gave a stronger showing than usual, but was riddled with the same problems that plagued him all season. Maybe he’ll work out the kinks before the tournament comes around. He wrote about a smoker with a scratchy throat and a voice raspier than James Earl Jones.
    Patrown came pretty decent... Not sure if it’s because he’s experimenting around or what, but I was expecting a stronger showing. However it was enough to nab the win. He wrote about deep bruises and raindrops on windows.

    Coup vs Shadow vs Ink

    Coup and Ink tie
    In one word, this battle was… disappointing. (Notice a trend this week? Maybe I’m just pessimistic…)
    In the supposed battle of the titans match up that was hyped in last week’s mag… No one brought their game. It felt like watching three schoolgirl robots in the “It’s A Small World” ride at Disney Land playfully hitting each other with pillows. Nothing like the bloodbath that was expected. Granted, these verses could probably hold their own against weaker writers… But it was far from the caliber expected of these guys.
    Coup wrote about a man smoking. Shadow wrote about a man smoking. Ink wrote abou- oh that’s right. Ink chose the topic that they’d all write on. Given that Ink chose this topic… he has even less of an excuse for his output of fecal matter. Coup’s smoker sat atop a cold tombstone and there was mention of rain somewhere in there. Why? Because rain makes the scene effing dramatic, that’s why! Shad’s smoker suckled the teat of a cigarette. Not gonna lie, that’s pretty hot. Ink’s smoker was a mountain, and then a volcano, and then a mountain. Make up your damn mind!
    test
  3. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    Week 17 Battle Predictions

    CHAMP MATCH:
    This should be an exciting match. Coup signed out, because he was scared of Ink. This leaves Ink to face off against Patrown. Let’s break it down!

    Ink: Ink is a writer who fails remarkably in big moments. He must have gone to the champ matches… five, six, maybe seven times since his time in RSTL. How many has he won? One. Granted, it was against Shadow, which isn’t an easy task, but still… 1/6, what is that win percentage? Not favorable, if you ask me… He has put out some great pieces, but has also produced some nose wrinkling, taste bud murdering, gouge-your-eye-out bad verses. You can never really tell which side of the coin you’ll get with this one, so we’ll have to wait until Friday. (Saturday, realistically, since everyone asks for extensions here and Ink likes to post his verse right at the last minute).

    Patrown: Patrown is kind of like Jeremy Lin. His humble approach to this craft and willingness to learn has made him an underdog favorite. It is also why he has improved so much in such a short amount of time. But, like Jeremy Lin, his output dwindled a bit after a while… His last two verses or so have not been up to par. However, this may just be because of the high expectations he has earned.

    Patrown wants this. He’s going to be chomping at the bit to snag the crown, so expect him to bring it this week and pull over an upset. Ink isn’t just going to give the crown away, but if history is any indication… He’s going notch another loss in a champ match. He’ll probably make an investment in WOW and drown his sorrows away by playing a kick ass mage or something and eating ice cream. That is, if Patrown doesn’t rip his head off with his teeth, praying mantis style.

    Prediction: Patrown wins 3-0

    CONTENDER MATCH:
    This match here is a bit deceiving. It’s a three way battle between Shadow, Breathless, and Kuja, but realistically, it’s a battle between Shadow and Breathless. Kuja has his mind on another league and more important matters, so don’t expect the type of verse you’d typically expect from him.

    Kuja: Kuja is going to either no show and drop an okay verse… A verse not enough to win it, but just long enough to keep him from being marked for another no show. However, if he DOES show, expect another smooth story. Like the grandpa in the movie Up rubbing lotion on the buttox of a midget grandmother who has received botox in her rear. That smooth.

    Breathless: This guy showed improvement last week. I predict he’s going to take that momentum and produce an even better verse this week. He has some clever moments, but again, his Achilles heel is his lack of polish... Even just tightening up his lines a bit would go a long way. He’s like a really potent fart. If he were to compress his writing a bit and just get it more refined… the results would be devastating.

    Shadow: Week after week, this guy produces at a ridiculously consistent level. He’s not going to surprise you with anything and most people here know what to expect with him, but that doesn’t take away from the quality he writes (excluding last week, but last week was a bad week for everyone it seems). He’s like a Belgian waffle. It’s not particularly exciting or new, but every time you eat one, it’s so damn good. Especially with strawberry syrup.

    Kuja loses, but couldn’t care less. Breathless gives a great showing, with some unique perspectives and ideas, but it’s not enough to beat Shadow’s proven formula.

    Prediction: Shadow wins 2-0
    test
  4. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    INTERVIEW WITH SHADSTER!

    Q: For those who don’t know… Who are you, where do you live, what do you look like, and what’s your social security number?

    A: I’m nobody but I do enjoy a nice hand job every once in a while.

    Q: How long have you been writing? Was there ever a moment where writing just clicked for you and you *****ly improved?

    A: Hmm I’ve been writing on and off for about 12 years or so. I started in the RSTL about 2 years ago and that’s all I seem to do nowadays. I think things started to click for him in the first season in the RSTL. I received a lot of good feedback from the other writers and I just kept improving.

    Q: What do you consider to be good writing? What makes you one to give one piece the vote over another?

    A: The connection. To me, if a writer can make me connect with the character or the piece, that gives them the edge. A story, to me, is supposed to take the reader on a journey but writing is an art. You have to be careful on how you write because if you are not careful, you can ruin a good story. Finding a good mix of rhymes and story development is key.

    Q: What do you consider to be bad writing? What makes you cringe?

    A: I don’t really know what ‘bad writing’ is although I do remember hating every aspect of one of LP’s stories. The problem with that story was that he put 14 pictures separated by 2 lines of his story and it was just an utter, disgusting piece of work. It was lazy and a cheap attempt at being creative. I think I hurt his feelings that day with my vote lol

    Q: You have earned a lot of respect here in the RSTL. What do you think is the reason for this? Additionally, have you ever seen writers seeking respect not receive it? What’d they do wrong?

    A: I guess it was because of my dedication to the league. I’ve put a lot of work into writing, reading and managing this league. I don’t think any one, who was seeking respect, didn’t receive it. I think for the people who were/are in the league consistently have respect.

    Q: You’ve been here for a while, so school some of the newer members on some RSTL history. Who are some of the older vets that you respect and why?

    A: I loved Got Life?’s story telling ability. He could develop a character without too much problem. Pain had an incredible flow and he always knew how to keep a reader interested. Pent uP was probably the best writer in the league. He had it all and I don’t believe I’ve seen him ever really lose. E. Craine was a good, passionate writer. I’m also a Nu’Maan fan, he turns me on with his clever wording. I can’t remember anyone else right now.

    Q: Among the writers in the RSTL right now and those you think will be competing, who do you think is the biggest threat going into the tourney and why?

    A: Hands down, I believe Ink is the biggest threat. He has the potential to do really good things with his stories and is still improving at a good rate.

    Q: Do you have any advice for the tourney first-timers?

    A: Captive the reader. If the reader becomes attached to your story, they will love your story. Also, don’t be afraid to take some chances with your story. People love creativity.

    Q: Nearly everyone knows you are one consistent writer. How do you do it? Last season, you notched over 30 wins… This has to be some sort of voodoo sorcery.

    A: My philosophy is that, if you want people to be consistent in your league, you have to be consistent, you know, lead by example. A bit of advice, if you want to win 30 matches, faceoff against T.a.C. as often as you can.
    Q: Rhyme four lines. Right now. Using these words: Pancake, NBA, Antartica, Pink eye (that’s one word, shush), Cancer, and Dingleberry.

    A:
    Antarctica? I guess no one taught Ink to spell
    Pinkeye courts his cancer, sockets blink and swell
    Pockets full of pancakes scrubing dingleberries from his ass crack
    Asth-matic with words like NBA players refusing pass backs

    Shut up

    Q: If you could only pick one verse, which verse are you most proud of writing… EVER? Tell us why, break it down for us too if you want!

    A: I’d say the story I wrote about my cousin, Kressenia’s Lullaby. I put a lot of emotion into that and I actually shed some tears writing it.

    Q: Have you ever had a battle where you thought the voting was ridiculous and you should have won? Tell us about it. (I got the Waaaambulance all warmed up, so don’t worry!)

    A: tbh i don’t even remember. I believe when I first got into the league, I thought that I was better than people gave me credit for and I was bitter about it but kept it in lol. I do remember getting angry PMs and reps from L. Kross for beating him. He was soooo mad that I won. He called me garage and all of that. It was hilarious. I still, to this day, don’t know why he was mad at me. I didn’t vote. I figured he’d be mad at the people who voted.

    Q: What do you think of Patrown? What advice do you have for him at this stage?

    A: I think Patrown is great. He seems like a good guy and has good potential. He actually reminds me of LP in a lot of ways buy minus LPs need to feel smart by using google search to make him appear intelligent lol. My advice is to him is to keep heeding our advice and keep writing.

    Q: Nom’s been poking around here a bit. What do you think of him and his writing?

    A: Nom is my European sex toy. His poetic words woo me

    Q: I’d ask what you think of Ink’s writing, but you clearly think he’s the best thing to ever happen in the history of everything. Your words, not mine.

    A: I believe he eats a whole dick to give him the boast to be so good. :eek:

    Q: Who here is overrated as a writer?
    A: Currently? There are only 5 people in the league lol but if I include the past, I’d say a few of the ‘vets’ were extremely overrated. I can’t remember their names but I’ll point them out when they return

    Q: Who here is underrated?

    A: Patrown because he still hasn’t fallen into his own and I think that in time, people will see him has a threat.
    test
  5. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    continued....


    Q: If your father got bit on the penis by a poisonous snake, would you suck out the poison or let him die? No rush, take your time..

    A: He’s dead then….Although , like I said, Ink eats whole dicks so I would employ his services

    Q: If a genie granted you one wish, and you couldn’t wish for more wishes… What would you wish for? You can’t wish for the snake poison to be extracted from your father’s penis. Genie’s have boundaries, man.

    A: I’d wish for a $1 billion then I’d travel to random RM member’s houses and tell them I’m Double ML and see what they’d do. After that, I’d buy a plane, then put a magnetic crane on it and fly over Coup’s car and drag it into the Gulf of Mexico. I’d then crash the plane into his car, ejecting before impact.

    Q: Got Life? has shown his face in the lounge. You and I both know that drama is going to follow. What’s your take? He holds nothing back in his critiques and some people even left in the past, because they couldn’t handle it. Is this a good or bad thing?

    A: I don’t see how people can have a desire to improve if they can’t take the heat. People like that won’t get better. Still sometimes it he can be a bit cruel but sometimes it’s hilarious to me. He does have some huge ears though. If you don’t know what he looks like, imagine a grape with human ears

    Q: Along the same lines, talk to us about voting in RSTL. How important is it and why should everyone do it?

    A: you can’t improve if you don’t get votes. You won’t get votes if you don’t vote. Voting is key to the league. Without votes, there is no league. Stop being lazy you idiots.


    Q: I heard you work for Facebook. Can I get a referral?

    A: that depends…..how good are you at handies? ;-) T.a.C.’s sweaty, chubby hands feel like a vagina of a 60 yr old woman.
    test
  6. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

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  7. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    subbed...gonna read this over coffee tomarrow. and yes, when all else fails just bring in the rain and it writes itself. lol
    test
  8. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

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    ^ cosign. rain goes good with everything
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  9. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    shad that was 28 pics lp used...and be easy on the car bro, that's extreme
    test
  10. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    sorry coup...You beat me last week so it seems like a good amount of payback
    test
  11. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    lol I'm taking it extra hard because you know my honda blew up....no planes involved

    good mags inks
    test
  12. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    ouch....mine almost did!
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  13. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

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    thanks coup. much respect to you for pulling out mags weekly that were actually decent =p
    test
  14. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    shad what you drive br0 ?
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  15. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    honda accord 06
    test
  16. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    get that timing belt replaced or checked around 150,000 miles
    test
  17. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    i should be fine for my timing belt. It was replaced around 120,000


    I need to replace my oil pan tho
    test
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