Mag - RSTL Week 7 ("New" RSTL - Week 1)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Clawz, Mar 1, 2006.

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  1. Clawz

    Clawz House

    Apr 12, 2001

    III. TOP 20 BREAKDOWN (Vigil)
    V. TOP 5 LEAGUE VERSES (Vigil)
  2. Clawz

    Clawz House

    Apr 12, 2001
    Week in Review

    For the first time in RSTL history, I Dunnno, better known as D.I.C. Gets Gully, is now the holder of not one, but two Tournament Championships. I Dunnno, also League Champion this week, nearly shut-out the formidable Rikoshay 5-2, becoming the “2006 No No-Show Tournament” winner. This award coming weeks before the Oscars is a good sign for I Dunnno avatar Rick Moranis, and despite the fact the academy blatantly overlooked his Best Supporting Actor performance for Spaceballs at the 1988 ceremonies, it’s not too late for a Lifetime Achievement Award.

    The New RSTL enters its first week of action using a controversial new points system, voting regulations and format. It’s strongly suggested everyone get up to date on all the new regulations and how the league is going to work, you can find it all here:

    In other news, the staff here is still looking for another full-time contributor, and inquiry’s are to be sent to our Editor-in-Chief (AIM: claushouse69). To gain a better perspective of what it takes to become a writer, we now go live to RSTL Magazine interviewer Tom Tucker:

    Tom Tucker: All right, question number one. Would you consider growing a moustache?
    Intern Interviewee: I guess so.
    Tom Tucker: Question number two. Look at my moustache. Do you think it tickles women when I kiss them?
    Intern Interviewee: I don't know.
    Tom Tucker: Wrong. The answer is "only slightly." Only slightly. Next!

    Riveting. Thanks Tom. In league action, defending Champ Annihilation (11-2) held off Pain (14-7) in a 2-2 draw (with I Dunnno unable to post) as voter turnout was worse than a William Hung American Idol special. In the Contender Match, Got Life? (12-7) defeated Shogun (3-1) by a score of 3-2 in a close bout. The only close bout Calloused (3-2) will be (potentially) facing this week is with cellmate, as the emcee failed to post for the second week in a row due to problems with the law, giving Lola Cruez II (2-0) the win. If anyone is interested in facing Calloused next week, I’ve spoken to him, and bail is set at 1000$.

    Runna DaMille (20-5) ended Urizen’s (4-2) climb 5-3 as he’ll take on Mr. Chaves (3-1), who downed Tha DQ (4-3), in next week’s Contender Match. Vigil (13-7) won his battle by a score of 1-0 against Headless Verseman (3-2), whose novel-sized verse turned off voters. How long was it?


    THAT long. Elsewhere, Malosovich (38-19) had a close encounter of the 3rd kind as he went to Defcon_5 (6-6), who promptly informed him that hallucinogens are not endorsed by RM staff, and to focus on their battle, which Malo won, 7-3. Sadly, there were no Malo incidents to report, no silly misconduct to report. Not even a little bit. Where are the crazy mix-ups? The hilarious anecdotes? YOU’RE DEAD TO ME MALO!

    Pent uP (22-9) narrowly slid by RICO (22-19), while Ribonuclease (1-0) notched his first win against veteran Scrolls (1-2). Outside the Top 20, all seven contestants failed to grab a win, and hilarity ensued.

    Interestingly, but not surprisingly, three returning cats attempted to pull a fast one by going 6 Million Dollar Man on mods (or that AOL commercial where they rebuild their mascot “faster” and “better than before” for the slower crowd) with their records, as J O O K (9-2) claimed he was 11-1, Retulen Reactus (13-8) entering at 18-5 and our beloved Jersey Emcee (22-16) coming in at 23-9. Mysteriously, J O O K signed out before matches took place this week. RICO (22-19) actually signed up with a worse record than he had previously, lol. Here is a re-enactment of what would have happened were RICO to try to sign in under a fake record:


    Among other new entries this week include RSTL eccentric Tekneek (63-24), veteran Lost Prophet (12-5), Symptoms (0-0), Stairway (0-0), and veteran Kang, posing as Senator Bob Dole (0-0). We now go to Kent Brockman with the story, Kent.

    Kent Brockman: Thanks, Claus. Senator Dole, why should people vote for you in your upcoming battle?
    Kang: It does not matter which way you vote. Either way your planet is doomed. Doomed. Doomed.
    Kent Brockman: Well, a refreshing bit of candor from Senator Bob Dole.
    Kent Brockman: And that, ladies and gentleman, is the Week in Review. I’m Kent Brockman, and you’re not.
  3. Clawz

    Clawz House

    Apr 12, 2001
    No-Show Tournament: Top 5 Verses
    By Vigil

    There were alot of goooood verses in this tourney, and it was hard choosing
    at first. Then Ifigured it would make sense to list the verses of the five writers who made it to the final two rounds. So all these guys here were in the semi-final
    matches. I then took the best verse each writer wrote in the tourney and the
    rest is self-explanatory. I suggest you read all these verses, its quality
    writing which was what the Tournament was all about: Quality over Quantity.

    5. Annihilation

    The imagery and description in this piece is on another level, and Claws
    developed the story really well. And the flow for the most part was sick. I
    also liked the mythology backdrop in the story and the creativity won me
    over. I think this was the second verse, this verse beated Converse in a
    close, close battle.

    4. TaLi RodrigueZ

    I'll just repost what I said about the verse in the battle since I can't say
    it any better: "That has to be one my favorite verses that I've read in the
    past weeks, the flow..was so fucking fluent, all your verses are smooth
    reads. The structure was dope too. And the concept is concious, honest, and
    really smart. It was complete, and very few verses are these days, and this
    had a point of view, you did just about everything right. And another reason
    why I love reading your verses is because nothing seemed forced." That
    pretty much sums it up. Good shit TaLi! Comeback soon and do more damage in
    the league.

    3. Vigil

    I'll just repost what TaLi said when he picked this as the #1 verse of the
    first round. "Vigil, what in the hell has gotten into you lately? You’ve
    been dropping some ridiculous shit the past few weeks. Maybe it’s just
    because we write so differently but I’m almost always impressed with your
    way of describing ordinary things in an unordinary way. The other big plus
    in this verse was the larger metaphor. I was totally not even seeing it as
    that until I got to the second...wait…I don’t want to ruin anything for
    anyone who hasn’t read. But yeah, check this one out."

    2. I Dunno

    I read this verse again the other day and I gained a more appreciation for
    it, the flow and rhyme scheme were bananas. However, I don't like the topic
    he chose but others loved it and I can see why cause the verse was really
    entertaining. Also, this was the winning verse, this won him the title, so
    it's no surprise it made this list.


    If you haven't read this verse, go read it now. At first I was like
    "damn..why do people like this verse so much" then I read it a couple more
    times and it grew on me. The emotion, scheme, and story, were fucking dope.
    I especially liked the last four lines, it wrapped up things nicely.
    Rikoshay has definitely mastered his craft, and this verse is a prime example of his talent, and skill.
  4. Clawz

    Clawz House

    Apr 12, 2001
    Top 20 Breakdown
    By Vigil

    This is the FINAL Top 20 Breakdown of the OLD Rstl ladies, gentlemen, and
    Headless. However, this is actually the Top 19 because of some complications
    of the rankings. This past week saw verses, confusion, complaints, and a
    modern play. So let's get it under away....

    18. Scrolls (1-1)
    VS 19. Ribonuclease (0-0)

    This match saw the arrival of Ribo, I think he was in the rbl before he came
    here but nevertheless he dropped a strong verse that defeated a solid
    showing from Scrolls. The final tally was 5-0. Scrolls shouldn't have too
    much trouble in the new league though, he tried something different this
    past week which is always encouraged in this league but couldn't overtop
    Ribo's verse that was one of the better reads this week.

    16. Lola Cruez. II
    (1-0) VS 17. Calloused (3-1)

    Unfortunately Calloused couldn't show for this match, however, Lola did and
    she dropped a good verse from what it seems like. There isn't much else to
    breakdown other than peep the verse cause it sucks when you drop a completed
    verse and your opponent no shows.

    14. Defcon_5 (6-5)
    VS 15. Malosovich (37-19)

    This was one of the more interesting battles of the week, and before I go
    any further Malo took it 7-3. Now, I always like it when people talk about
    issues that are important, I don't care what the point of view is, so I
    definitely gotta give it up for Malo here. The imagery was by far the best
    part of his verse, the flow was good too and the ending was fitting and
    pretty dope as well. The thing I liked most about his verse was the
    simplicity of it. Defcon wrote a decent verse, a few rough patches here and
    there due to rushing but for the most part the verse was good, especailly
    the description.

    11. Pent uP (21-9)
    VS 12. RICO (18-16)

    This was a pretty close battle, I don't know the exact vote count but Pent
    Up ended up edging it. Rico's verse was pretty standard, not much emotion,
    and the rich/poor man been done so he lacked originality but still the verse
    was written quite good, it was simplistic yet effective. I just thought the
    message was boring, and the reflection of a poor and rich man isn't really
    exciting to read cause we know it. Originality is perhaps the most important
    part when you approach a verse in my eyes, writers should always look to
    come fresh and take an approach that hasn't been done before. Anyways, Pent
    had a pretty good verse, I liked the emotion, the content, just a solid
    verse. He took a good stab at wordplay, somewhat clever, but you still gotta
    apreciate it when writers come up with dope phrases and wordplay. I also
    liked the structure of the verse.

    9. Vigil (12-7) VS
    10. The HeadlessVerseman (3-1)

    This was perhaps the best battle of the week, depending on how you look at
    it. I personally thought both me and Headless got fucked, seriously. But we
    did get a couple of votes, thanks to Rico and Claws for their breakdowns,
    they stepped up. But Headless needs to understand that no writer should ever
    exceed 100 lines in a rstl verse. The rstl is not the appropiate place to
    post a play cause most readers have a tough time reading regular verses but
    still you gotta give credit where credit is due, and I gotta give Headless
    props. Now, I did win this battle, gracias, gracias, but I think two votes
    deciding a battle isn't fair but still .....what the fuck was Headless
    thinking in posting a play? lol. Headless..although I really liked the fact
    you wrote play since this is a writing league and we should be supporting
    that but you gotta know the law of the land.

    7. Tha DQ (4-2) VS
    8. Mr.Chaves (2-1)

    This battle was extremely close, and a really good one too. Chaves won 5-4
    but it could've gone either way. Both writers tackled the same topic, "a day
    without rain" and they took a different approach, I always like matches when
    the writers write on the same topic. Now, Chaves's flow was smooth
    throughout, he had good metaphors, and the overall concept was refreshing. I
    definitely like what Chaves brings to the table. Tha DQ also has a quite
    amount of skill, her verse's concept was nice, and original in some ways. It
    was an easy read, too. ..And this is the part where I write some more
    bullshit to fill up space so the breakdown doesn't look bad, and this is the
    part where i still continue to write, and this is the part where my keyboard
    sttttarrtts to jjjaamm and yeeaah.

    5. Urizen (4-1) VS
    6. Runna DaMille (19-5)

    Urizen gave Riko a run for his money but in the end Riko proved too much,
    taking the match 5-3. Like all of Riko's verses, the scheme, flow and
    content were dope. It wasn an interesting read, although some parts were a
    little hard to follow along the first time around but once you pin-point the
    structure and scheme then the verse flows smoothly. Urizen's verse surprised
    me, it was better then I thought it would be, I really liked the emotion, it
    was just written well.

    Match: 3. Got Life? (11-7) VS 4. Shogun (3-0)

    Got Life? ended up taking this match 3-2 after all was said and done.
    Shogun's verse was so well written, it was intriguing to read, and the flow
    was really good. My only complaint was it's structure and how the verse
    developed, I thought the concept was original and nice but the execution
    could've been better. Got Life? on the other hand came through, his verse
    was also well written, and the idea took it for me. I'm not sure if many
    voters picked up on the concept of his verse which was a staring contest
    with death, I thought that was really creative. This was definitely worthy
    of the contendership match.

    Champ Match: 1.
    Annihilation (10-2)(1 defense) VS 1. I Dunnno (9-3) VS 2. Pain

    The champ match had a little bit of everything, it definitely represented
    the Rstl as it stands right now. It had confusion, alot of bickering, ill
    verses and a no show. What more can you ask for? Its a shame D.I.C no-showed
    but Claws and Pain picked up the slack to tie the rope of what was a tug of
    war between these two guys. The voting went back and forth, and so did the
    arguments. Pain's verse was very realistic which is one reason why his style
    is liked so much, and Claws's verse was just written so well, he had a very
    polished flow, and he took a different style from his past verses and I
    admire writers who try new things. Thats all there is to say, hopefully next
    week's champ match will have less fuss.
  5. Clawz

    Clawz House

    Apr 12, 2001
    Top 5 Verses
    By Vigil

    For the first time, I think, there are two number one verses, and this is
    because I just couldn't left out any of these verses. There were some other
    good verses too, but theses verses all had one thing in common, originality.
    Also, another thing to keep in mind, these are all winning verses except for
    the play which I thought had to be honoured because it seemed Headless put
    quite a bit of effort into it and I hate to see it go unappreciated no
    matter how long it is. And these are all very different verses, every writer
    has it's own style. And with all due respect, you gotta give credit where
    credit is due.

    5 - Got Life? -
    Eyes Wide Frozen

    This verse overall concept won me over, the multis and flow could've been
    better but for the most part the verse was written really well and once
    again, the idea was original, and I'm a big fan of that. Got Life? is slowly
    becoming one of the heavyweights of the league, he's went to the champ match
    with this verse and it's no surprise.

    4 - Annihilation -
    An Ode to Humankind

    This verse was put together really well, there was no rough spots, the flow
    was smooth, content was good, just really above average. I also liked the
    approach Claws took with the verse, it's very different from his past
    verses, which is always a plus.

    3 - Malosovich -
    The Bright Side of the Shadow

    This was the first verse I've read by Malo and I was really impressed, the
    verse was detaied yet simple, and most important nothing was forced, his
    writer's voice is one of the best in the league. And I always like it when
    writers write about something that relates to current events, and try to
    tell a story from a real perspective. These types of stories should be
    written more.

    2 - Headless - The
    Sickness[Modern Play]

    Ya'll can argue and complain and hate me for this but I gotta give credit
    where credit is due. Most of you probably haven't read the verse and the
    ones that have probably' won't agree but I gotta give props to Headless for
    at least writing a play, I don't have the will nor desire to write a play,
    and I know how hard it can be. And if you have read this verse you know it
    was written good with a very good concept, and some lines were forced but I
    always like it when writers going out on a limb and experiment with their

    1 - Pain - It's
    Good to be Me, Somewhere In My Memory

    The emotion and realism in this verse was really really nice. I like how
    Pain writes, this verse read like the writer was speaking to you in a
    conversation and he happened to rhyme while doing it. The verse was
    definitely an easy read, very smooth, and I admire it when writers expose
    themselves and reveal their personal life, it takes alot of fucking guts to
    rhyme some real shit, and I love it when writers do that. Pain is a definite
    heavyweight now, he's established himself and hopefully he'll continue to
    write verses like this.

    1 - Vigil - An ode
    to humankind from Jesus

    I was unsure about putting this verse as #1 but at the end of the day it was
    an ill piece, and I'm not one to boast but that's the truth. If you haven't
    read it, I suggest you go read it now and hopefully you'll agree with my
    decision. Now, with that said, when I wrote this piece I only focused on one
    thing, and that was originality. And that's all that need to be said.

  6. Clawz

    Clawz House

    Apr 12, 2001
    The RSTL Manual For DUMMIES: A Dummies Guide to The New

    By Vigil

    The Divisions:

    >This is blue and this is red.

    >There are two divisions, that means ...there are TWO divisions.

    >The league will be based on a "points" system. These "points" will
    not enable you to go to the rm shop and change the color of your name to blue or red, those are different points, a whole different ball game.

    >If you win you will advance to your divisional title match, but most
    of you don't have to worry about this part since you will never get there. That means YOU.

    The Matches:

    >Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match
    exists and that you are not delusional when you see Your Name VS. Another Name. This is just for clarification to prove to us, the rstl members, that you are not crazy and in fact aware that your match exists) is encouraged but not required. To bridge down this concept of checking-in even further, if you do not check-in then your opponent and the mods will probably assume you are either a) not going to show, b) pulling a scheme to throw off your opponent, c) your internet is shut down, or finally d) you can't decide on what song lyrics to quote in your post.

    >Verses must be at least 16 lines, and not exceed 64 lines. You may
    go above the limit if your opponent allows it but don't pull a Headless and
    post Shakespeare.

    >Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines that consist of rhyme,
    incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show
    because we, the mods, must see that you put in effort to posting a no show
    verse that no one will is going to read, and probably won't even enter your
    thread because the post count doesn't exceed above 5.

    >Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a "show" but will not
    result in a match. But if you post 4-15 lines and your opponent shows, you
    will lose the match. If you do post 4-15 lines and your opponent no shows,
    then you will win. Again, posting between 4-15 lines is considered a "show"
    but will not result in a match. But if you post 4-15 lines and your opponent
    shows, you lose the match. If you do post 4-15 lines and your opponent no
    shows, then you will win.

    >This next bit is about Round Robin, Alternate and Bracket matches,
    which isn't important and not beneficial for you at this point and time. The
    bottom line is show up, vote, and don't lose, basically. The other filler
    would just mean were trying to be legit, and look professional. But since
    your are dummies of the league, you do not need to know about the mechanics
    and inner-workings of the league. Just remember to show up, vote, and don't


    >Oh, and no hate or bias votes, unless of course you are either Got
    Life or Pain. But to the rest, no bias votes. Bias voting will result in
    TekNeek coming back, and we know you don't want that.

    The Points:

    >For this part, read Rikoshay's version of it, cause he dumbed it down better than I ever could.
  7. Clawz

    Clawz House

    Apr 12, 2001
    Voter of the Week

    While there were some serious droughts in matches as to how many votes there were, there is little issue with the quality of alot of the votes this week, as Pent uP, Got Life?, Tha DQ and Lola among others posted some nice, extensive votes in their required votes. However two people really stood out this week, and both came as a surprise. The co-winners of the award this week are Ribonuclease and I Dunnno. Ribo came out of nowhere with monster votes, in-depth breakdown and good insight in his first week voting in the RSTL, and I think it really impressed alot of people, myself included. The other surprise is I Dunnno, who despite not having been able to throw a verse in this week, came in with large and incredibly detailed and comprehensive votes. Kudos to both of you.
  8. Clawz

    Clawz House

    Apr 12, 2001
    Power Rankings

    I've been busy cataloguing statistics on every person in the league since 2003. Here's a snippet of a few stats, and I just quickly formulated "Power Rankings" for fun. The formula will change in the future, this was just have a little fun and let people see where they rank and look at some of the RSTL's most notable figures and give them something to strive for. As for the records I put in combined records, but obviously people like Pain (14-7) and DIC (28-7) don't use the ones cited. If no notice any double-aliases or want to let me know if you want me to use your total record or current record please do so here (Pent uP is using his current).

  9. Clawz

    Clawz House

    Apr 12, 2001

    The images are too big, I'll figure out a way to do this properly when they're used for the archives or whatever, you can't see your rankings lol, but you can take a look at your stats and those of others. Firefox and IE appear to show them properly.


  10. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Aug 3, 2005
    Vigil nice job...oh and hit me up sometime for a few lessons on grammar...[ bias free lessons ;) ]...and anni for the love of god if you're going to rip off family guy lines at least extend them to more than just lines from the movie...there's so much more material available...oh and have no fear...I shall help write this with the coming of next week once again...
  11. Annihilation

    Annihilation CLAUS HOUSE

    Mar 17, 2003
    here's an idea:

    blow me.
  12. Look im Gangsta

    Look im Gangsta New Member

    Mar 20, 2004
    Dope mag. Thanks for the love.
    Lol @ how one fuck up by Dic has had such an impact on the power rankings.
    Is that madpoet thing a joke? Or did he really edit that unessacary shit in there?

    I like the power rankings thing.

    Kool G Rap 2-1
    Adrock 4-2
    Tony Blair 4-2
    yo momma 2nd 35-16
    Malosovich 38-19

    You can combine G Rap, Adrock and Blair with my Malo name if you want (48-22) The yo momma 2nd record is my Malosovich record. Before I changed names.

    Dope shit though.
  13. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Aug 3, 2005
    Stop taking everything so're such a little girl sometimes...
  14. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Feb 26, 2005
    Wtf, power ranking...... Yall wanna know all my aliases. I really don't care about it. I used them to gain unbiased opinions of my writing. Don't want people voting for me cuz they know it's me or against me for my past assanine behaviors. So...

    1st name... Dark nebula 3-1
    2nd name... Dicnyaeye 29-7. I'm pretty sure its 29, not 28.
    3rd name... This one might surprise you
    Queen icesikil 3-1
    4th name.... Black beard 1-0, he's more a ptl guy.
    5th name..... I dunnno 9-4

    45-13 if you wanna put them all in there and do your power rankings, I'm all for pushing the progression.

    Otherwise, I'll stick with I dunnno at 9-4

    Thank you all for the acknowledgement, it's nice to see that a twisted, deranged, perverted lil guy like me can actually write some crazy shit and still get embraced.

    You know I have 5 champ titles, one was taken from me cuz of Omen's wack ass, but w/e, 2 tournaments now, 2 funny guy of the year titles, 1 creative of the year, but I'm way more proud of having 3x voter of the week award. They're all going in the sig tho, you know how I do
  15. Urizen

    Urizen I hate humans

    Sep 11, 2004
    this was a dope mag
    and thnx for the indirect props

    RIKOSHAY New Member

    Oct 31, 1999
    Actually, if you lose, you can still get 2 for showing, 2 for losing by vote and 3 for voting on every single match for a total of 7 points
    At the same time, if you win you'll get 5 points plus 2 for showing but if you don't vote, you'll lose 2 points and only have 5 points.
    So, a loser can ammass more points than a winner, simply by participating more.
    Of course, you cannot enter the "Bracket" matches off a loss so, theoretically, we could have someone lose 10 weeks in a row and have a massive points lead, but never enter the Divisional Title Match.

    Regardless, dope mag.
  17. Clawz

    Clawz House

    Apr 12, 2001
    lol Urizen I found you ALL OVER the place randomly throughout the records, I was very much confused trying to figure out your past rec = )
  18. Clawz

    Clawz House

    Apr 12, 2001
    Haha, that's a joke, I wouldn't actually post porn links in a mag.

    As for combining records, the rule as I've known it since 2002 is that you're allowed to combine 2 names records into one, one time. I remember this specifically because at the time Jowelz was secretely Turbyulence and those in the loop were talking about the stipulations for combining recs (which he eventually did).

    The last discussion I had was with Tali, and he said the same thing. I don't know if there were mods somewhere in-between who did it differently, personally I'm open to dialogue on the subject or if anyone knows who did differently while modding, and I think people having fuller records helps the league attract new people.
  19. Look im Gangsta

    Look im Gangsta New Member

    Mar 20, 2004
    I used to allow 2-3 names to be combined from around 03-04 and you could only do it the once.

    I dunno. I'm half and half on it.

    Half for because it would make the ranks more accurate if people like myself, dic and Pinnicle didn't have like half a dozen names each in there.

    Half against because of the reason it's frowned upon. People going to want to add up 12 names with 3-1 ranks.
  20. .Lola Cruez. II

    .Lola Cruez. II Speaking from my soul.

    Nov 21, 2005
    I'm Tweety and the record on there is 2-2, coolio

    Lol @ 12-5 on this name, I didn't even know.

    Dope Mag.
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