[MAG] RSTL Magazine Week 15

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Apr 27, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,201
    INTRO

    Welcome to the week 15 of the RSTL and welcome and enjoy the magazine. We have one more week (wk 16) before the tourney starts. I'm not sure if it's going to start right after the end of the season or not...a few weeks might be needed to spread the word out and to allow everyone to sign in and prepare. So let's talk about that and get organized. Shadow has already stated the cash prize for this years winner will be 50-75 cash. In years past the RM.com owners also tossed in some goodies, but under new ownership that is not a guarantee. Moving on,

    This weeks interview is with THE INK WELL. INKS also did the predictions too. Thanks Inks!!! Kuja is signed back in! Welcome back hommie. L.Kross stopped in the lounge, what's up kat ? Anyway, thanks to all the talented writers who are competing this week and good luck!
    test
  2. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,201
    Week 14 Battle Recapitulation

    Champ INK vs COUP

    Coup wins

    What can one say ? The way the votes turned out was not necessarily a true indicator of how close this match really was. The big difference however was the way each head took on the topics they choose, and in the end it all boiled down to the verse that was more wide on the story telling spectrum--contrasted by inks highly coiled "Hollywood" scene that kept it tight within the margins of story telling. Brother INK took:

    Looking back on this written, I notice the rhyme scheme stands out. Like Breathless had mention in his vote, the staggered sequence was a nice approach to the grim, slick character developed. And in a nut shell, INK did a character study in one take, one shot, one scene. BRAVO

    But never mind that, I smile and ask her what she?ll have
    ?Cosmopolitan,? confident and no games, I?m feeling that
    Almond eyes, slightly tanned, bangs like a veil gracing her face
    Perky lips like a sheath, pointed to accommodate a blade
    That?s her tongue, yeah she stings, I can tell from her display
    Low cut dress stops at her thighs with the edges slightly frayed
    Damn?


    Damn is right, INK. DAM that was hot, bruh. I liked the "Almond eyes". A lot. This was a perfect verse describing one moment in time, and I think the lack of exposition really hurt this. Standing alone this verse is worth some study on how this genre is done! Believe that. But I think Coups verse in the end expanded more complete in the story telling department. What a shame too, because this was pretty. INK drilled out of nothing a simple bar scene and it reminds one of the Cantata scene in Star Wars, where a confident scoundrel Han Solo spits his knowledge of the star system! A hero in his own mind ? What happened next, really!


    Breathless vs Shadower's vs Patron

    Shadow and Patron TIE

    What a three way! This ended up putting both Shadow and Pat in the Champion match, leaving breathless out. Though, to be honest all had unique elements to their verses. What were they ? Let's find out.

    Shadow came out the gates HARD with:

    The urge is overwhelming and I?m losing control
    A tortured soul snatched through the blackest of holes
    Struggling to be whole cradling my broken pieces
    Eyelids in creases realizing how pointless peace is


    From what I can recall, this is one of Shadows best verses in almost all aspects. The flow was sinister, the pacing of the story was highly efficient and it moved with ease, the tone was communicated between two sisters in an amazing dialog, the poetry was not over baring but balanced both with a narrative story tell style and a hint of shadows own signature. Shad took us through two sisters own agony and the way one of them went out, IE died. The reasons were not clear, but the tone allowed us to infer clearly that the devil and personal demons were the culprit. PEEP this again. I was impressed and IMO shad won. BUT. There is always that little dude that will never go away: PAT.

    Breathless came very simple and in this simplicity you had to pay attention to get it. The old saying goes something like this "Once you see it you'll shit bricks" How true, how true! Breath switched gears this week and really gave us a dialog of the family variety: Dad talks to daughter and tells her he's going away. And we have mom with child in the womb simply not knowing. It's growing, I'm slowing and what is happening, what is growing ? Breath is owning. This is pretty written that was disciplined in dialog. Dialog is conversations best hits and anyone looking for a good example to tell a fresh story mostly in dialog you should revisit this verse for some study...In Breathless' own words:

    Y'all go check this one out again. Words can't do it justice!

    Patrown, also a winner in this battle came with short lines and a lesson in how to be creepy...in only 20 lines. He came sick and his whole written was a toss back to the Nazi medical experiments during WWII. Pretty much a vivid and colorful account of a doctor slicing up some victims. The entire written came across hazy and dark...while it demanded knowledge of the history said above it really worked in the end, however this could have been a little bit more general! Bravo, great written. Lines like this

    Knotted hair's tangled and painfully brushed
    pieces of scalp dangle from craniums clutched


    Really speed up the piece and hammered home the blood stained pacing of a great scene dipiction....INK and Pat really did the same thing, but the tone was different. Great battle all three. For sure.
    test
  3. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,201
    B]Best and Worst Lines of Week 14[/B]

    Patrown:

    Best:

    They pathetically drool after lobotamy school time
    Just a pupil at a time and they follow the rules fine


    Worst:

    along a wall our decomposing parents are lying at dawn
    Stuck frozen in place, pissing through rags on the fallen


    Breathless

    Best:

    It all came in an instant, it happened way too fast
    No time for a last minute phone call, just, wham
    A flash and a bang, and the passenger plane crashed


    Worst:

    The woman sighed, shook her head, rolled outta bed, yawns
    Put on her houseshoes, went downstairs to make breakfast
    Flipping the switch on the television as she walks past to the kitchen
    Then stops, as she listens to the first sentence of the news



    Shadow

    Best:

    She was the good to my evil, how could I compare?
    I knew life wasn?t fair but why was she born without a care?
    Trying to swallow my pride but tasting failure
    Searching for clothes with the devil as my tailor


    Worst:

    I got nothing tbh

    INKs

    Best:

    I see a slight shadow in the corner of my i? ris
    A slender bare wrist that froze my heart like an ice? pick
    Me an? her? We locked sights, I ain?t no locksmith
    Toothpick slipped from my lips and hit the floor like a dance mix


    or

    Almond eyes, slightly tanned, bangs like a veil gracing her face
    Perky lips like a sheath, pointed to accommodate a blade
    That?s her tongue, yeah she stings, I can tell from her display
    Low cut dress stops at her thighs with the edges slightly frayed
    Damn?


    Worst:

    I close the distance by some inches, eyeing the menu prices
    ?Can you help me out? Girl, something?s wrong with that list


    Coup

    Best:

    But I'm twisted in cobwebs, trapped in insidious plots
    Just a spider asleep, life is feedin' the insects and rot
    Crawling to the surface like fat worms after hard rains
    My memory is power like dreams to bombard the profane


    Worst:

    Their acid acceptance is my emotional treasure... privacy
    Promise of fair weather but passive storms discern silently
    test
  4. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,201
    B]Week 15 Predictions[/B]

    Champ Match:

    This one is going to be a heated battle. We have rookie of the year, Patrown, going up against veterans Shadow and Coup. Let's break it down.

    Shadow: Shadow is someone who is incredibly polished. He is very comfortable with his particular brand of writing and knows how to execute it flawlessly. It is rare for Shadow to make any mistakes on a technical level. He is returning from a loss at Ink's hands, which cost him his crown, and is undoubtedly looking to finish off this season with the champ title back on his head. Shadow has alot of skill at his disposal, yet he has been predictable at times with his writtens. Most of his pieces feature the same rhythm that does not change throughout the piece. This may have been developed due to his long presence in the RSTL and the advantage of never losing points due to flow. Shadow won't lose if it comes to pure technique. However, his weakness will be how safe his pieces can be. If someone really pushes the envelope and does it well, Shadow could be in trouble. However, his verse has already been posted by TaC and he hasn't had as much time as he'd usually have to let it marinate a bit, so he is at a disadvantage this week. I won't comment on his verse to be fair. (Haven't even read it yet)

    Coup: Coup is someone who has mastered the art of packing a lot of meaning into few words - an extremely valuable skill. Last week he broke out of his self-imposed 16 line limitation to win the Champ title. But now the cat is out of it's bag. Shadow and Patrown won't be caught off guard this week if Coup drops more than 16. He is more poetic in nature than the other two participants, which he can use to differentiate himself from the pack. As the defending champ, it's always harder than the challenger. I can't imagine the drive Patrown must have right now for the chance to seize the title. Coup needs to keep this in mind and really bring his game. If he treats his verse this week like he has treated his 16 line verses, but extend it, he's going to be a tough opponent. Expect to give Coup's piece a second/third read in order to really appreciate the content. He's not going to go down without a fight.

    Patrown: Patrown is quite new to the RSTL, but no one can deny he has developed into quite the remarkable writer. Every week he has noticeably improved and has been asking many of the vets for advice. The first champ match for anyone is quite a big deal, so expect him to bring the heat. Not to jinx him, but I'm expecting to see the best verse I've seen from him in this match. It's not a stretch, he's improved every week, so every week's verse has become his new best verse. His disadvantage is his relative inexperience in comparison to Coup and Shadow. His opponents have had alot of time to refine and iron out the kinks in their craft. Patrown, to me, comes off as someone still trying to create his own style that he's comfortable in. Last week he came with a style that felt very reminiscent of Coups in what I saw as an attempt to try on different clothes, if you will. This period of experimentation also makes him the least predictable of the participants in this match. He's the underdog, but don't we all love underdog stories?

    This is going to come down to Coup and Patrown. Shadow is a monster, but he simply has not had the time this week to bring it.
    I predict a 2-1 victory for Coup with Patrown getting one vote.

    Contender Match

    We have breathless going up against former champs, Ink and Kuja.

    Breathless: Breathless is like a street brawler. His style is unapologetically risky. He possesses solid rhyming ability and good ideas, yet his execution need a lot of work. He has a 50% win rate (currently 7-7), with a couple of those stemming from no shows. He is the underdog of this threeway battle, but don't take him lightly. If he decides to polish his verse up, he will be a serious threat. This is quite likely, as I predict he's growing tired of Ink calling him out on lacking polish.

    Ink: Ink's strength is in his unique perspective on topics and detail orientated writing. However, Shadow has brought up that the details were necessary at certain points in more than one occasion. Furthermore, questions have been raised as to how much effort he really gives in these verses. He has dropped some gems, but has also dropped garbage in the past.

    Kuja: Another former champ. A master of storytelling, he is all about the big picture. He stepped away from the RSTL for a bit and just returned, so you know fatigue is not an issue for him. Who knows what kind of rhymes and ideas have been cooking in his head while he was out. While he doesn't have enough time left in the regular RSTL season to champ again, expect him to use this as a warm up for the tournament.

    I predict Kuja will win 3-0
    test
  5. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,201
    Interview with the one, the only, The INKwell


    1. Tell us a little about yourself, who is theinkwell, and how old you are ? Share with us somethings we might not ever have figured out unless asked... What makes you tick ?

    Well first of all, everyone can just refer to me as Ink (or whatever you want, really). Someone took that name before I did, so I couldn't register with it. I'm 22 years old, LA born and raised, just graduated college and doing the grown up thing. Some things you may not ever have figured out - ever. My first album I ever bought was Aaron Carter's. Before joining RSTL, I was on another site where I was one of the top writers. Being a big fish in a little pond gets old fast though, so I left.

    2. How long have you been writing in general ? More specifically, when and why did you start writing verses and how did this develop into a hobby or passion ?

    I started writing when I was around twelve. I wish I had a deep profound story about how I started writing, but the truth is, I don't really remember anymore. It doesn't matter to me that much either, what's more important is that I'm writing now. I quit when I was around 14 or so.. picked the pen back up when I was probably 16 or 17 and have been writing since. I dabbled in alot of "hobbies," mostly due to my parents. Piano, viola, drums, drawing, painting, Tae Kwon Do, etc. But I never really got into any of that. Writing became one of the few things I considered myself to be really good at, so I kept at it. Looking back, I think what it was is the fact that I felt complete control when I was writing. I didn't have any sheet music I had to follow, or memorize routines or forms. I could write what I wanted in the way I wanted. Whether that was good or not at the time is debatable... (it was pretty bad) In high school, during philosophy class, we learned about how Wittgenstein believed that anything could be expressed with words. If you had a feeling or thought you couldn't express, it was a matter of you not being articulate enough. That was probably the one thing I took away from that class. I don't even remember the rest of the guy's philosophy. So, I guess now that's what my goal and the driving force behind my writings is. I'm trying to attain perfect articulation, the ability to express anything and everything in the manner I want.

    3. I've asked Patrown the same question; What is your philosophy of good writing ? What is it that you like and look for in a verse ? (structure, flow, mechanics, tone, development..etc)

    Good writing isn't about the most complex rhyme scheme, the smoothest flow, a good vocabulary, a vivid story, mind blowing perspective, etc.. It's about knowing when to use these various mechanics to really bring out the idea you have in your head. When I look at a verse, I look at the overall picture. What the writer was trying to accomplish and how they chose to do it. Then I go in and dissect the lines (which is probably the part that drives people nuts). Personally, I really appreciate thoughtfulness. Careful word choice, connecting certain lines in a way that isn't so obvious, tailoring the rhythm of a piece to match the subject matter, etc. These are things that a lot of readers might completely read over and not notice, so I appreciate it when someone spent the time to do it well. I also look for a certain degree of polish. Whether it seems like they took the time to tighten up their verse and work out the kinks, or if they just threw something together really quick.

    4. In the flip side, what are some things that don't make a written work and what should writers avoid, or what mistakes are the most common considering your take on 'bad' writing ?

    Basically the opposite of what I answered just now. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is obnoxious spelling/grammatical errors. There's no reason for you to be using a "z" to pluralize a word. We're not ten anymore. This isn't as common in the RSTL, but I see it a lot in other areas... But I'm not gonna point fingers. Along the same lines, use the correct word. "Sun" and "Son" are not the same. Sometimes writers do this on purpose. That's cool. But if you do it because you can't spell, then I'm going to assume every time you do it it's a mistake. Another problem is writing too much. Readers get fatigued when you're piece drags on.. Write as much as you need to in order to make your statement and then end it. I could probably go on and on, so I'll just make this one last point. Don't overdo something. For example, multi's are great in moderation, but if you saturate your piece with it, it's going to really hurt your piece. Of course, there are exceptions...

    5. I've noticed you have a pretty cool temperament and actually get along well with every writer in the league, both presently and in the past when it was more crowed...what is it about you that people like so much in your own words ? How do you win friends and influence people ?

    Actually, there was one instance where I went off on someone. Forgot what his name was, but basically he had been writing for about a month or so and was whining because he wasn't able to get any wins. There are people here who have been writing and grinding it out for years and he comes in expecting this to come easy? So I told him to either put in the work required to improve or leave. And he left. Those kind of people really get under my skin.

    But anyways. As far as me being liked... Really? That's news to me... It's probably because of my amazing personality and unparalleled writing ability. Oh, and humility - I have that too. Did I mention I'm amazing? In all seriousness though, it really comes down to just wanting to see people get better and grow myself. I'm not the nicest person in my critiques or even in how I talk to some people, but it's because I want to see them improve. The most messed up thing you can do to a writer is be nice and tell them everything they write is amazing. Plus, it gets them gassed up. With regards to influence... Influence comes with respect, and respect is earned... I wouldn't say I have any influence over anyone here, but if I did, it most likely stemmed from a respect for my skill.

    6. What writers stand out to you for being good writers here in the RSTL, past or present and why ?

    There's too many to name... It's one of the reasons I was attracted to here. But I'll stick to recent people instead of digging through the archives.. Bent and Cigma are at the top of my list. Bent, because he started only a bit before I did and he was always the guy to beat last season, in my opinion. His historical pieces are ridiculous. Cigma is someone I instantly had respect for. I felt like our styles were similar in a way, even though they were so different. I never had a chance to match up against him, but hopefully he'll come back and we can go head to head. Shad's skills and above all else, his endurance, demands a mention. This is the guy that competed nearly every week last season and racked up over 30 wins, if I remember correctly.. More than anyone else in the league. Nom is also a beast. I don't think I've ever seen him drop something that was mediocre (besides no show verses). Coup deserves a mention too, but only because he's interviewing me right now.
    test
  6. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,201
    7. Who is an RSTL writer that needs to improve the most ? In what areas ? How would you break it down ?

    Picking from the list of active writers right now, it'd have to be Breathless. I'm sure he's going to hate me (if he doesn't already), I feel like I'm always picking on him. He has a lot of talent, but it needs to be refined. All the pieces to make a really great writer are there, so he just needs to connect the pieces. The biggest (maybe only) issue with him is how he presents his writings. If he understood that readers have a very limited grasp of how his piece is supposed to flow, and tailored his piece a bit to accommodate for that, he'd do much better. I know two weeks ago he posted the rhythm his piece was supposed to adhere to and an accompanying instrumental, but even that only goes so far. Besides that though, he's shown that he's able to string together some great ideas and produce some great lines.

    8. Considering all the writers in the RSTL both past and present, how would you rank them in a power ranking system ? And why ?

    This is tough, considering my knowledge of RSTL's writers in the past isn't very expansive. Hmmm... I'm going to pass.

    (Coup: WEAK WEAK WEAK!!!!!!)

    9. 400 ball ? Really ? How is that exercise working for you ? Update us.

    It's working great! ... ... ... When I actually do it...

    10. What is the best time and environment for you to write ? Or have you noticed that when you put out your best stuff anything is different ?

    There's really no good time or environment... But some of my craziest lines were created while I'm in the shower or about to go to bed.

    11. Explain your RSTL verse written process. A-Z

    I learned when I did a few collaborations with other writers that the way I produce my writings is a bit... strange. Which is weird, I thought this was how everyone did it.

    A. Choosing the topic. I love catching readers off guard, so I usually pick one that I think causes readers to assume or expect something.

    B. This is the part that made some writers give me weird looks. I put my pieces together like a screenplay. I imagine the scene, how everything looks, what the characters are doing. Everything that goes on in my pieces were envisioned like a movie scene in my head first.

    C. Then I write my piece, focusing on getting through the whole scene and not on producing anything presentable. Like a rough draft.

    D. Next, I go through and make everything not suck.

    12. I'm going to put you on the spot. Make a 4 bar flow with these words: Balloon, bubbles, washer, bike, raw and lighter.

    Four bars or four lines?

    A plastic washer with soap water, she held it out on her bike
    Bubbles inflate like balloons, reflecting the sun bled sky
    At night, it's bath time, her mom would washer and rub her raw
    With bubbles, if she were lighter, it'd be like Up - a movie she saw


    13. Wheres the world headed ?

    In a circular motion around the sun at an alarmingly fast speed.

    14. In ten years, where will you be ? Prison and death don't count for an answer!

    Hopefully still employed, possibly with a family, possibly with kids. Definitely with a dog, that's not negotiable. It'd be cool to have something published in ten years too. But I might just opt for a blog or something and collaborate on it with other writers.

    15. Who's the most underrated writer at RM.com ?

    This one's tough, I honestly don't know.. I don't see anyone that'd I say is underrated at this point...

    16. What could YOU teach the world if only they listened ?

    Is me actually knowing how to do it a prerequisite? If so then... damn... I don't know, I'd probably teach the world how to make ramen with cheese without having the cheese taking away all the spiciness of the soup.

    17. In a few words describe Shadowarriors writing.

    Polished, purposeful, and safe (only sometimes)

    18. In a few words describe Patrowns writing.

    Better than last weeks.

    19 In a few words describe Breathless' writing.

    RIsky and unbridled.

    20.
    ^That is a sick flow...break it down for us and offer us some commentary on how you developed it....give us some insights into what make you write like this!

    Haha that's actually not one of my favorite parts of my piece this week. You seem to love it for some reason though. Okay, so a little background on this piece. I basically turned a topic that sounded like something serious and flipped it to be a pick up line. The character's a shallow, sleazy, cocky dude. In the first two lines, I use the ellipsis to drag out those words. Like how a lot of rappers on the radio do it nowadays, because they think it gives them "swag." No that I'm hating, it'd just be nice if they displayed some skill and originality. I originally wrote the ending of the first line to be "eye...ris" but changed it because I wasn't sure everyone would pick up on it. The icepick line is pretty average, so is the locksmith line, actually these four lines are pretty average in general if you look at them individually. But it worked well given the context of the piece and the multi's came out nice. For the second line, I wanted to say something along the lines of "struck my heart" or "made my heart stop." I opted for the icepick line because it kind of combines the cheesiness of both. I'm sure you can see the connection between having a heart stop and having a heart frozen. What you probably don't see (because the connection is only in my head) is how icepick connects to being struck. Well... If you were to want to kill someone with an icepick, you'd strike them with it (or stab, but lets not nitpick). Yeah, I know... Such is the ridiculousness that goes on in my head. Locksmith line... him not being a locksmith means he can't break his gaze from her. That's really all there is to this excerpt. If you saw more into it then... yes, I intended to convey whatever deep profound meaning you found in it.

    A big thank you to INK for taking time out of his day to not only do a insightful interveiw, but also for doing the predictions. Thanks INK!
    test
  7. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    76,201
    lemme know if it looks right/if anything needs editing Coup. thanks again.
    test
  8. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,096
    looks good thanks
    test
  9. Kuja

    Kuja Jack Skellington

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    404
    Nice mag, good work =-)
    test
  10. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,096
    on point predictions ink, not the choosing of the victor but the rather the insightful analysis you gave. DEEP,

    I loved your ice pick/dance mix lines because the imagery tied perfectly into the whole bar concept and did I say I liked the imagery already ? And the flow too. Great interview.


    next week's interview...the notorious Breathless. ( I know breathless on some level outside the RSTL, so this will be a unique one at that!)
    test
  11. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2011
    Messages:
    736
    the quotation marks and apostrophes seem to be replaced by question marks o.o
    test
  12. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Messages:
    1,600
    Awesome may article, really enjoyed the interview, sorta neat to know some background of the writers here. And ink, i don't haveany hard feelings, i need the constructive criticism, this text structure is just awkward for me to do
    test
  13. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2011
    Messages:
    736
    ^ good to know! i hear you man.. takes a little time to adjust
    test
  14. patrown

    patrown student for life

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2011
    Messages:
    1,178
    enjoyed the read. thankya.
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)