-Lustrous-

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by RealMS, May 30, 2004.

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  1. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2004
    Messages:
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    To ease this pain,
    I'll cry,
    Of course inside, each time you try
    To see me laugh,
    When you missed my summer smile,
    To be stress-free, I feel, so free,
    As if I was a bird,
    With non existing wings, made to fly
    For the night, I am safe,
    In your good grace,
    And every move submits me, to be,
    Relaxed of your touch
    I rest, my crown, just below your face,
    Even with sound of sirens outside your window,
    Surrendering into your arms,
    There is no other place-
    I'd rather be-
    With you,
    Holding too tight, during a beautiful day,
    Passion is such a dangerous move,
    But my feelings are so real,
    It contains no theory
    No engagements to foolishness,
    Unless a movement of what I may,
    To you, so precious,
    Calm,
    Hush...
    Let me kiss your lips,
    A soft secret


    ------------------------------------
    I read far more than replied to, sorry about that, but I'll be back, I hope.
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=749119<--Brit Boi Gee

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=750803<--babyangel17

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=749603<--frozen poet (ice heart?)

    -Peace!
    test
  2. Bhitiah

    Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures

    Joined:
    May 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,173
    " I feel, so free,
    As if I was a bird,
    With non existing wings, made to fly"

    that was ill

    your a dope poet lol..
    test
  3. quotive

    quotive 3

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2004
    Messages:
    13,756
    'Bout time you dropped something..

    This was really good homegirl... it was simplistic, but it was still great.. I liked it.

    Keep writin', and drop more often!
    test
  4. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

    Joined:
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    2,940
    Like the way it all ended, the begining kind of throughme off I dont know why but it did. Made me go back and read it a 2nd time, but that's always good. Anyways this was a nice piece and it's good to see you dropping something. It seems you come and go every so often. Beautiful piece, everything came together so nicely and Once again I loved the ending


    Stay Up, Much Love, Peace
    test
  5. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    Good to see you around girl. This was a nice piece. Simple and straight foward. You expressed yourself well.

    One luv
    test
  6. 6ftground

    6ftground BLACKACE/GRIMREADER

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2003
    Messages:
    2,066
    I like the structure and the poetic flow of it all...LOL

    Mylady this piece was tighT
    I liked the ending it left me to believe somthing else....!?!?
    Your skills are straight like drug money..Keep dropping..Piece six
    test
  7. MarQuise*

    MarQuise* Can You Hear Me*

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2004
    Messages:
    5,268
    I enjoyed this, i liked how it started, lv'd how it ended, it was a good read, again, second thing i read from you 2day, its lookin good...
    Much Lv
    *S*
    test
  8. iLL Script.

    iLL Script. ~Poetic~

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2002
    Messages:
    15,884
    glad 2 see ur back more regularly now. enjoyable piece, i liked it. good job :thumb:
    stay up
    test
  9. j$crILLa

    j$crILLa ~$crillVille~

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    12,589
    yeah that was i expect from u, some good descriptive poetry,. nice one
    test
  10. ChyllTyrant

    ChyllTyrant AmIEternalOrAnEternalist?

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2003
    Messages:
    795
    this was pretty good. strong passionate emotion. alright imagery.

    PEACE
    test
  11. PoetDee

    PoetDee Love+Hate=Life

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2004
    Messages:
    3
    I am feeling your poem.
    It is so true.
    Keep the good work up.
    And one day, you will make it big.
    test
  12. babyangel17

    babyangel17 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2004
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    i liked the way it sounded it really was good felt the begining tho that hit me like damn lol but overall very good
    test
  13. nathedawg

    nathedawg New Member

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    i was reading your signatures and i can actually see some reflection in your piece, by the way that means alot coming from me i dont say that about just anyone very good imagery and the structure is uncanny good shit yo get at me as far as doing a collab on somethin you can pick the topic.
    shakespeare and langston hughes wow thats alot girl, remember that!!
    test
  14. misspimp

    misspimp a.k.a KATURAH

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2003
    Messages:
    1,308
    very nice and soft....what i liked about this piece most...is the fact that it really didnt have to e dedicated to a lover...but dedicated to anyone whom u love...the overall concept was great....the rhythm kinda thru me off a little but maybe it was just me...anyhoo lovin this piece!!

    mad love
    test
  15. Evg.poet

    Evg.poet As the Heart Speaks...

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2004
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    i liked that.....it was very sensual...made me want to finish reading it.....keep the flow going
    test
  16. Subconcious

    Subconcious CiPrIoLa DyNaStY

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2001
    Messages:
    1,044
    Awww how sweet...you should give this to whomever inspired it if you haven't already. It def hit a soft spot with me

    Luv ^^^
    test
  17. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    This is a year old lol jp
    Thanks for the feedback, I like to know what yall feel on it, or just anything doesn't matter lol.

    -If I read right on what you thought of the ending, nah you're wrong lol, I'm too young for that lol. Thanks for peepin

    -Thanks, glad u liked. I was thinking about it at the time I wrote that, but now might not be a good time lol.
    -Peace!
    test
  18. nathedawg

    nathedawg New Member

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    Messages:
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    [U]hey disregard the message i sent to you, ill still do a collab wit ya just disregard what i said in the message aight, my bad, i suffer from sometimers disease!!!! too much weed probably!![/U]
    test
  19. Craccer_Jacc

    Craccer_Jacc SudAnillyst

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2003
    Messages:
    252
    sweet poem ... usually not my thing but this held my attention ... u are very talented keep written ..peace
    test
  20. Consequential

    Consequential Spiritual Mind

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    682
    Excellent poem, real smooth, cool presence about it for some reason.. i think that the colour of font definately added to this for me.. felt it

    Good job
    test
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