"LOVE" By: Epic Savier/ILL Poppy

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Epic Savier, May 26, 2003.

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  1. Epic Savier

    Epic Savier New Member

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    "Love..." By: Epic Savier/ILL Poppy

    I love the diamonds, gold, platinum necklace, an cloths,
    The life of luxury, vintage items, the green eyes that show your soul,
    With out you, I don't know what I would do,
    Skies once cloudy, turn to sunshine with rays of blue,
    Everything's happy, I will kill for you, as your thought invokes me,
    Flashing you in my presence, is known to provoke me,
    To do things I would normally do only in tight situations,
    But your my everything, my heart an soul, an I cant resist your temptation,

    I'll grab my burner, an put a life on a milk carton to have you,
    You've made me show those who grab you, just what the mack do,
    Pushing up on what's mine, is a life line soon to cease,
    An come time, my shine will be shown through out these streets,

    With you... when I walk, I glisten,
    With you... when I talk, they listen,
    With you... when I hit a store, its evident how im living,

    I love your smell, the touch an sight of you is pleasing to the eye,
    Your the reason many in this world may die, fry, or cry,
    Because with out you, people will hit rock bottom, an act in emotion,
    But with you, many stay with a strong devotion,
    An as time evolves, your worth becomes more an more,
    From Elsalvador, to India's sea shores,
    We all thirst for you, so powerful yet so silent,
    Through history of the world, you have caused many to lead in defiance,
    Maybe a tyrant,
    Maybe the root of all evil,
    Maybe the reason for sirens,
    An maybe the beginning of the end for many people,

    But need I really say, in many way's after ways,
    Without money, a sunny days, just a sunny day....
    An I love money!

    If you cheated an read the bottom 1st then you messed the whole thing up... So I hope I kept you thinking I was talking about a female but gave the idea I was refering to money through the whole thing... thats what I was trying to do...

    Hope you all liked.. did this 1 rather quickly...
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    It was obvious that you did this quickly, as you said, because it wasn't as indepth and as detailed as your "Rose" poem, which was very well drawn out. I believe that this one isn't your finest piece of work, but no doubt that's it good and the metaphorical usage of money instead of woman, as you said the concept was, was creative. And no, I didn't cheat right to the bottom, I actually sulked in all what you wanted to say and get out from within your system. The line measurements usually is what attracts my eye and this was very well organized and easy to read.

    "With you... when I walk, I glisten,
    With you... when I talk, they listen,
    With you... when I hit a store, its evident how im living,"


    When you glisten, while you so called "Bling Bling", she's what makes you stand out in the crowd and is your own chains and gold rings, etc.

    When they listen to when you talk, is because you're in control because you're with that one person you love, basically.

    When you hit the stores with your love, they know how you're leaving, because it's evident that you have a beautiful woman to go home to every night.

    That's what I'm getting from this quote, or at least piece. My blessings..
    test
  3. Epic Savier

    Epic Savier New Member

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    The trick I tried with this poem as well as the Rose poem, was to make you think I was talking about 1 thing, but really talking about something else, then at the final few lines make it evident I was talking about that one thing the entire time,

    the lines you mentioned.

    "With you... when I walk, I glisten,
    With you... when I talk, they listen,
    With you... when I hit a store, its evident how im living,"

    Was actually meant differently then what you mentioned, but thrown in there to be taken just as you mentioned if you know what I mean, the "glisten" part was for the appearance of me because I have money, the listen part, was for "money means power" because those who have money generally have power... an the "when i hit a store, it's evident how im living" part was to show that when I walk into stores people know im down to spend...

    i did that part there to keep people thinking it was all a women, but if you look deeper you'll understand I was reffering to money the whole time...

    I wanted to call this "Love Of Money" but thats to much info in the title...

    I like to do poems that are misleading until the end... it takes more effort in my eyes to find comparisons you can do to both.. but yes.. this isnt my best piece... but it's probably 1 of the better "misleading" poems I've done... so it's all about what style appeals to the reader more....

    thanks for the breakdown...
    test
  4. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    Word, I haven't been onpoint with the meanings today. Oh well, thanks for that..
    test
  5. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    I don't know if I'm just insightful today or if I just guessed right, because I knew you weren't talking about a woman.

    I picked up the metaphorical attributes that had the "ode to woman" feel to it..but I knew what you were leading to...good job..I'll check your other one out!
    test
  6. Epic Savier

    Epic Savier New Member

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    Its ok Miss, i know you peaked ahead... but no prob... lol j/k

    thanks for the feedback.
    test
  7. Epic Savier

    Epic Savier New Member

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    test
  8. ILL Poppy

    ILL Poppy New Member

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    test
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