Lord Where Are You.......

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by lpoet, Aug 8, 2004.

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  1. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    Maybe its my eyes but
    I could have sworn I saw the truth
    Fall from the heavens like snowflakes
    In grey skies

    Are these your hands in my mind

    Twisting every lie
    Paper thin hopes and lingering goodbyes
    I wanted to stay forever but
    You left quickly
    Soft echos of
    How
    When and
    Why bounce around and collide

    All I ever wanted was to love you

    Do you remember you once offered
    Your shoulders for me to lie my burden
    Upon and willing carried my debt onto
    The back of regressing seas

    Do you still feel in debt to me?

    I stood bare sin soaked
    Hands clasped
    Empty
    Body lacking the nourishment of
    Soul freeing prayers
    Forgive me lord but I did not know they were there
    For when lips parted
    Words started becoming unfamiliar and unclear
    So I coated the truth with ignorance and
    Hid within my despair
    Hopeing someone would find me
    And give me the answers

    I once heard that you can dream with eyes open
    And tears don’t mean that your weak and
    Though the scabs have fallin off volumes the scars speak
    but i'm
    Still searching for freedom
    Still searching for peace
    still searching for meaning in
    semingly meaningless things

    .....

    GOD WHERE ARE YOU?
    test
  2. who~is~she

    who~is~she THE ORIGINAL~ILL~SISTAH

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    there is something about this verse...cant quite put it into words....i'll get back to u on it though..

    anyways. Love this shit
    test
  3. illpoetical

    illpoetical raising the bar everyday

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    1,533
    that was beautiful, i'm not even religious like that but this poem makes me want to go to my wife's church 4 hour mass next week, tight poem as usual.
    test
  4. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    ^4 Hours! Hot Damn

    lpoet this was a incredible piece man.

    Dont always get to see you write a piece like this. I can tell this was personal in the way you wrote it. Glad to see you post it.

    one luv
    test
  5. unspoken1

    unspoken1 Revolutionary Wordsmen

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2002
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    "I once heard that you can dream with eyes open
    And tears don’t mean that your weak and
    Though the scabs have fallin off volumes the scars speak "

    incredible....nice man....this hit me
    test
  6. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    2,938
    Yea man this was deep... I thought it was goign to be a bout a girl or a lost love or something, but it turned out to be on god... it was great man. Feeling this one hundred percent... i aint been around much lately, but Im glad i caught this piece


    Stay Up, Much Love, Peace
    test
  7. NeNiTa

    NeNiTa DeViL's EyEz

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    Messages:
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    I once heard that you can dream with eyes open
    And tears don’t mean that your weak and
    Though the scabs have fallin off volumes the scars speak
    but i'm
    Still searching for freedom
    Still searching for peace

    those lines stuck to my soul.... this piece has a haunting feel to it that i just cant shake... i like this piece it seems your talking about alotta things all rolled into one.... much love this piece is beautiful
    test
  8. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    Messages:
    17,838
    This piece reeked of my existence!!! Lordy lord lord lord......

    Testify testify....

    anywho...this is a beautiful piece! Simply lovely!!!
    test
  9. rhino_number_33

    rhino_number_33 RRRRROOOOOAAAAARRRR!

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    test
  10. Index.

    Index. New Member

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    LPs the man
    test
  11. SexyLynn

    SexyLynn New Member

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    oh my god that was beautiful!
    test
  12. Evg.poet

    Evg.poet As the Heart Speaks...

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    This was amazing..............i don't know what elsw to say...............God Bless
    test
  13. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    thanks everyone..means alot b/c i really enjoyed this piece
    test
  14. ViDaR

    ViDaR [¤Thong Btween my ears¤-]

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    you got a different way of writing, but its awesome...

    this was dope... i can relate... peace
    test
  15. DeadAgainPagan

    DeadAgainPagan Catchy Slogan

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    Aug 12, 2004
    Messages:
    29
    loving this piece man.

    this part stood out to me.

    i loved the imagery, and the word usuage was perfect and showed that you put a lot of effort into this.

    you have a way with words.

    looking forward to reading more by you most definitely.

    pz
    test
  16. Clarksvegas_Dan

    Clarksvegas_Dan Registered Voter

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    seek and ye shall find
    test
  17. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2004
    Messages:
    5,023
    While reading this it seemed like the rhyme scheme just fell into place accidentally like you wasn't even worried about it rhyming, like the mind was on lock in this piece, but the poem was just amazing point blank. Looks like you're on the right track to finding what you've been looking for and thats good, I hope it stays that way. It first begins inside yourself, thru all that you do, and soon enough you'll be able to find it in others-kind of hard to believe, but if you really think deep about it it will make some sense. Even when others are otherwise. Keep writing.
    Much Love
    test
  18. DaJackle

    DaJackle ThoughtS ProcessinG

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    Sep 1, 2003
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    498
    this is just really intense, i love your diction man, you write like you are speaking, but how you put your words together make it flow so nice and sound soo poetic lol...good shit man, much love
    test
  19. Zeta

    Zeta New Member

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    OH! this is going to make me cry. Stay UP
    Peace
    test
  20. *Hott Chocolate*

    *Hott Chocolate* current mood: happy

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    4,390
    i liked this one a lot. my favorite lines were:

    "So I coated the truth with ignorance and
    Hid within my despair
    Hopeing someone would find me
    And give me the answers"

    u described that so well, and i also really liked that part b/c i can relate- i often find myself doing that as well.

    anyways, keep 'em coming!
    test
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