"listen to the silence"

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by lewdDog, Jun 20, 2003.

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  1. lewdDog

    lewdDog Life is are own illusion

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    Close your eyes n listen to the silence,
    explore your mind n endure the violence.
    a mind so evil could it be yours.
    Search a little more thru your back doors.
    Maybe you’ll find the reason
    or maybe find your truly demon.
    Vision’s n verse our getting worse.
    See-in you kill is start-in to define purpose.
    See-in what lurks in the back of your mind.
    Start-in to see your lose-in your mind.
    Then u seem to find a locked door.
    What could be there behind that door?
    Should u search n see u have the key?
    What possibly could your mind be hiding?
    What dark secret could that room be providing?
    Well open the door n find out you’ve been lying.
    Find out that the only person u want to kill is the one writing.
    test
  2. varentao

    varentao New Member

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    Though it got a bit too simplisitic in some areas, therefore making it un-even in a non-artisitc manner...i felt that got shoved into the background by the other parts ofg the piece..that bought me into the piece...from the perspective of a writer, and all the 'sweet' pain and angst that comes with it...(though can be related from many other perspectives)...and the ending echoed that quite well..

    ...resp...
    test
  3. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    yea it was alittle wierd to read but some parts of it were really good
    test
  4. lyfestory

    lyfestory New Member

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    hot i liked dat joint ya mean holla
    test
  5. mocha_licious

    mocha_licious New Member

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    first ten lines was wicked for real...u seem to write with three-d type style...im feeling that...every word can go in any direction ...is what i mean....the ending (the last line) threw me in left field though.....i still l iked this..seems like u holding out.....drop some more...~big ups and one l ove~
    test
  6. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    not bad kinda wierd to me what other dukes said some parts were good i dunno i think it didn't really flow but some where goodd
    test
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