Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by skandelous_lala, Sep 16, 2005.
good... that's ultimately what's important, here.
No you're not... not to what I'm saying, at least.
and therein lies the problem... you responding to what you think I'm implying... and in this case I clearly stated that I wasn't making that implication... hence, you not paying attention. You do that frequently - make up some position that you think I hold and then argue against it - which is why I usually stop replying to you after a few posts... its pointless. Not everything has to turn into a polarized debate around here... nor do we all have to hold common opinions about everthing, especially how we run our private lives/households... my point in replying was to lend a perspective... I'm more than willing to share my ideas and experiences as a parent, whom La La asked for replies from in the first place, but I'm not about to sit here and hold a debate with you. If you need clarification on something I say, just ask... maybe then I'll stop "bailing" on you.
Not at all, you usually don't reply because you realise that perhaps you aren't right about something. If I remember, you said that you " couldn't be bothered to read all of that', so don't make out just from this one post that I imply all of your positions when you can't even be bothered to read.
Yes, this time I did make an implication, something I only do rarely when certain things are brought to my attention. I felt like you were downplaying domestic life in favour of one with more mobility and anchoring your point by using mothers as coddlers who dont prepare their kids. Just because you stated thats not what you meant, you must have been aware that it strongly implies it, otherwise you wouldn't have said it.
And the whole " i'm not gonna get into a polarized debate with you' is getting pretty tired. Stop making out that my 'talking' here is carrying an unwanted over the top seriousness that you cant kick it with. all im doing is putting my points across and trying to understand others and you cant seem to handle that, so you downplay what I do, and switch it up and make out like your bailing is all my fault when I've shown that it's clearly not the case.
He's a house husband.. He'll do it the same way a house wife watches the kids, cleans the house, and pays the bills..
but all of those things are a house husband or a housewives duty without having a payed job on top/
Brit, you go ahead and type what you think I would have, and then go ahead and argue against that... you seem to enjoy that.
I can see that working... I've seen it, actually... the lady in the apartment across from mine works from home... Her kids are school-aged, though, so its alot more do-able than it would be with an infant or a smaller child... my neighbor works for the same company as my dad, actually... he works from home, too, holding down a management position no less!... his wife stays at home (like I said earlier) so shes the primary caregiver for the kids, but that position definitely allows him more flexibility than he would if he worked in an office outside of the home everyday... like being able to take the kids to appointments, school, running errands, taking an active role in discipline, etc... he's able to be more involved all around.
I also have a girlfriend who has a 50/50 deal with her employer where she works from home half the time and from the office for the other half... her husband stays home and takes care of the two kids.
My point is that there are more non-traditional options available out there... a lot more companies are allowing/insisting employees work from home... you and your husband can work it out... I know several people who do it and make it work... so if that's what you want, its not impossible.
what a surprise! you didn't address anything I said. Must be another case of the lazy eye syndrome, but you can just say it was my fault if you want.
oh, you already did.
more like the don't-care-enough-to-respond-to-it syndrome.
but you seemed to care enough to respond 5 times ? but then what happened? Oh yea, the post where I proved you wrong about your own bailing turned your lazy eye on.
Oh, get over yourself, already... you did nothing but prove my point that you try to turn everything into an argument by deliberately misinterpreting posts.
Its nothing for me to hit the 'reply' button... its your illusions of grandeur I didn't bother responding to.
No, cus I did not do it deliberately, thats you assuming now. I just made a pretty solid assumption from what you said, so excuse me but,
you did nothing but prove my point in this thread that you ignore what you wish to, respond where you can be bothered and when it suits you best, so I think you prolly need to get over yaself, not me.
Although I've heard people say that..I didn't see anybody coming in here saying that. If you want to take up that issue, I think you need to take it up with somebody who at least thinks the idea is completely foreign.
It's not alien to me. I've done the housewife thing before...so the SAHM isn't far off..just a lot more work.
This is not the arguement I wanted in my thread. Careers are important to people. Parenting is important as well. Although I was actually wondering about how women/men felt about leaving their children with sitters..if we want to take it to that level...then yes to an extent my point was also..careers are important...parenting is important..HOW DO WE FIND A BALANCE BETWEEN THE TWO, OR IS THERE ONE?
For some there is a balance..for other's there isn't. I'm not hear to argue it..I'm hear to listen to what others have to say about. To me there is no right and wrong in this situation.
And if men truly do feel so passionate about the issue, then how come I'm not seeing more SAHFs? Since this is getting off topic why not go there? That's what Mist is wanting..but yet the idea is more alien to men than it is to women.... *things that make you say hmmm*
Kids need their parents around...I agree with you 100%...I come from a divorced home..I have already seen UP CLOSE & PERSONAL what can happen when on or both parents are not there for their children as they need to be. You're preaching to somebody who already has the scripture memorized.
Anybody who uses the excuse that they don't want to be a SAHM b/c they don't want to fall into gender roles or society's expectations or whatever is foolish anyways. If that's your only reason for not wanting to stay at home with your kids..you shouldn't have opened your legs to begin with..just my opinion.
I got love for your Brit...but unless your simply trying to understand a woman's perspective...I don't think you could understand unless you were a woman. Hell I am a woman but I don't have children and I still don't completely understand everything that goes into all and I won't until have children...hence the reason I am trying to speak with other women about it and the reason I posted this thread.
People say it and act on it, nevertheless. even when they just say they dont want to be a housewife they act on these feelings of it not being a natural or desiarable role for the mother in the home. Sure women should be able to work and have a career, so should men, but if you have a family, you can't both be working full time until the kids are older. It's when people think they can that they neglect the kids and don't spend enough time with them.
Well, the question whether parents are comfortable leaving their kids with sitters ultimatley leads to the reasons people have to leave them. I can't help that. And I don't agree that there is no right or wrong answer when it comes down to bringing up children. There are things we would do for our kids and there are things we would not, and its the same in this case.
It's alien to some men because women who have had the children with their maternal instincts throughout history have naturally taken that role. Plus, there are things like breastfeeding the children when they are very young that men can't do. These days it's more acceptable for men to stay at home and look after the kids though, but a lot of men and women feel its still the womans role.
Nah, saying that I can't understand or have valid input cus I'm a man is just wrong. If you were just trying to speak with the women, and didn't want the guys input because of this then you should just have said. ima keep speaking my mind, though.
Nah it's cool..I'm not saying the points you're making aren't valid....this was never just for the ladies..but it went off on a topic that it wasn't about.
It was more for people who have children..I don't know if you have children or not..so I mean no disrespect if you do but I never picked up any of that from your posts here.
But to speak on the being a mother and having a job..or being a mother and staying at home..to me, no you can't do that b/c you will never be either any way you slice it lol. Father yes..mother no. Still though, they are two very different roles. Voicing your opinion is fine..I understand we all have opinions but a lot of the mothers have felt ran out of this thread it seems b/c they didn't want to defend their role as a housewife or working mom. The point is not to have to defend yourself here..at least..that's not what I want for this forum and certainly not for my own thread.
I think sometimes if you have another point like that to raise, maybe start another thread with that specific point brought up. It was sourta a fine line here and I should have put not to start such a debate here..but that's how it goes sometimes, I know.
I respect your opinion but there's nothing left for me to debate b/c what I said is how I feel, just like what you said is how you feel...and we aren't going to find a middle ground on that right now lol
I wont leave my future kids at a babysitters, they'll stay with family.
I got it like that son.
And I respect yours. I didn't mean to intrude on what you were trying to do here, I just happen to feel quite passionately about a lot of things..so no hard feelings...
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