Laugh In Hell

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum, Sep 21, 2011.

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  1. BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum

    BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum aka Billy Shoreview

    Joined:
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    Laugh In Hell

    Death is the tragedy
    Unless you hated life
    One of depressions casualties.
    Hand me the knife.
    I started to think of it casually,
    And that became the problem.
    When it started to make sense to you
    Collapsed in the devil's vestibule.
    I never sold my soul, because
    I learned that it was worthless
    From words too often spoken
    By loved ones who loved once.
    Love letters you never got
    Sent to the wrong address
    Different ways to know you were alone
    Ignored, more or less.
    Drugged by the desire
    To never grow old
    I wanted to stop being a burden
    Wanted to stop feeling so cold
    So...
    All I wanna know is
    Can I laugh in hell?
    Can I smile as well?
    Has anyone ever returned to tell?
    If left with one last tomorrow
    Who shall I want there?

    If I called,

    Would you come?

    Or would you even care?

    Content with discontentment
    Fueled by being humbled
    I only seek to be hated
    Hateful hazing means "I love you".
    Dyslexic in affection
    What's the ultimate rejection.
    Try cry without a tear
    Without a final voice inflection.
    When you no longer can feel
    You feel you're no longer felt
    Push away from the dealer
    Throw away the cards you're dealt
    You know there are smiles in heaven
    And for sure, I wish them well...
    But if I know I'm never wanted
    Then what difference is hell?

    So...

    All I wanna know is
    Can I laugh in hell?
    Can I smile as well?
    Has anyone ever returned to tell?
    If left with one last tomorrow
    Who shall I want there?

    If I called,

    Would you come?

    Or would you even care?

    Wait in shame is a waiting game
    Weight I've gained from the world on my shoulders.
    Hate to change, but I hate to stay.
    To wait is to get older.
    An angel in the middle.
    No vice. No spite.
    You all have long forgotten me.
    Alright.
    Alright.
    So I'll retire for the evening.
    Bonsoir.
    Goodnight.
    If life is only fleeting,
    I'll be gone the next flight,
    But....

    All I wanna know is
    Can I laugh in hell?
    Can I smile as well?
    Has anyone ever returned to tell?
    If left with one last tomorrow
    Who shall I want there?

    If I called,

    Would you come?

    Or would you even care?
    test
  2. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    3,706
    [QUOTE=NisLaniF;1068939794]Laugh In Hell

    .
    Love letters you never got
    Sent to the wrong address
    Different ways to know you were alone
    Ignored, more or less.
    Drugged by the desire
    To never grow old
    I wanted to stop being a burden
    Wanted to stop feeling so cold
    So...
    All I wanna know is
    Can I laugh in hell?
    Can I smile as well?
    Has anyone ever returned to tell?
    If left with one last tomorrow
    Who shall I want there?

    If I called,

    Would you come?

    Or would you even care?

    Content with discontentment
    Fueled by being humbled
    I only seek to be hated
    Hateful hazing means "I love you".
    Dyslexic in affection
    What's the ultimate rejection.
    Try cry without a tear
    Without a final voice inflection.


    ?[/QUOTE]

    I loved this
    test
  3. BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum

    BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum aka Billy Shoreview

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    33,123
    test
  4. BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum

    BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum aka Billy Shoreview

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    Upping again. Used to write all the time.
    test
  5. Carpe Noctem

    Carpe Noctem Neos Helios

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    This was shit.
    test
  6. BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum

    BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum aka Billy Shoreview

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    You forgot the "the"...
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  7. patrown

    patrown student for life

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    liked it. catchy hook.. the repetition i did not feel, progressively.
    test
  8. hearstothemute

    hearstothemute New Member

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    some of it was cool, and simply for the fact it moved rhythmically obviously it stood fluent.. but the more i stopped and concentrated on what you were saying it was all fairly brief and some a bit nonsensical or grammatically incoherent,

    just very awkwardly worded. i just feel like it wasn't all very heartfelt.
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  9. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    4,096
    this has good, bland and ugly.

    good that it was connecting in some ways because of the theme

    bland that it read so choppy, and told in a typical not thought out too well way

    and ugly that it was bland.

    lol no this is not a bad peice...just needs work.
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  10. fanytong

    fanytong New Member

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    lollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollol
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  11. ahmadzuep

    ahmadzuep Member

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    Ive been to the MOBO's when N-Dubz were playing. Yes, its possible to laugh while being in hell.......
    test
  12. BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum

    BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum aka Billy Shoreview

    Joined:
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    "Wasn't too heartfelt"

    Couldn't be more wrong.
    test
  13. BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum

    BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum aka Billy Shoreview

    Joined:
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    Choppy disjointed read? I take it few of you have ever been to where this poem is nascent. Not much makes sense, not much "flows". Especially after you've lived there for so long that you begin to doubt your ability to go through with it. The thought of it no longer comes in a panic rush of emotions, but an all too disturbing yet disjointed sense of calm and resolve.*

    Coming back and reading this, I now feel the fear I couldn't feel then. The words only make sense if you put yourself in the position of one making final provisions to end a life that one feels no longer requires his presence. When you try to cry without a tear, that's a bad sign. The only love you can recognize anymore is hate, so much so that you actively seek it because it's the only thing you perceive as genuine. Those who love you pretend they do, those who hate you are at least being honest. You view love as mere patronizing condescension and hate as at least SOMETHING.

    That is the thick, that is the choking stagnated stench and smog that is your only remaining source. It is the climate of your last gasp, the filter through which you will gaze to the heavens one last time. Peace in the turmoil.

    It was amidst this I spoke. Some may say this was about suicidal depression. To me?*

    It was about peace.
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  14. Look im Gangsta

    Look im Gangsta New Member

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    this reads back like its written by an uneffected teenager trying to relate.

    either that or your just a horrible writer
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  15. Koss

    Koss ∞♥

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    This, however, wow. It was passionate, it was heartfelt, and I immediately felt myself in your position. The powerful defensiveness of a person who bared their soul, only to feel the harsh reality of others' perceptions. They say poetry is born from suffering. Thanks for sharing this with us.
    test
  16. L u c y

    L u c y (Administrator) SWERVE

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    I really enjoyed reading this - I know nothing of poetry, but for me any 'faults' with the writing were easy to ignore due to the emotion you managed to express.

    nice one
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  17. Look im Gangsta

    Look im Gangsta New Member

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    test
  18. Look im Gangsta

    Look im Gangsta New Member

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    Why are you lying though? You don't have a poem on the front page that he can return the favour with.

    Do you actually socialise privately with him?

    There's few other reasons for lying about his poem being good. It's bloody awful.
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  19. L u c y

    L u c y (Administrator) SWERVE

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    (me?)

    heh - like I said I know nothing about poetry, the only poetry I've ever read has been on RM (sad but true I know) I saw Kozz's name in the section and thought he'd wrote something so had a nosy.. I find it tough to criticize something I'd be pleased to be able to do.
    I meant what I said... I'm not exactly critically minded am I Malo?
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  20. Caesar

    Caesar Natural Aristocracy

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    Read my poetry.

    Not this shit.
    test
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