Ladies do u feel Like..........

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by JAE GUNNA, Aug 20, 2006.

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  1. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    True... there are exceptions to every case. But how often does that happen when you're dressed conservatively as opposed to dressed provocatively? [Just so we'll all have a working definition... provocative/revealing= tight/fitting clothing or exposing plenty of flesh.]

    I'm a man and I have been on the receiving end of compliments toward my body parts. They don't offend me, because it's not that serious. And if I'm dressing provocatively, which I rarely do if ever, then I expect it to come. I don't get what's so hard to comprehend about that... especially when most women are so proud of their bodies (whether they have a nice one or not), which is why they go to great lengths to show them off (even if it's a 50 degrees outside)... but yet, you wanna catch an attitude when somebody makes an off color comment???

    *shakes head*
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  2. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    A scene I overheard from one girl to another back in college:

    "Girl, you need to show those thick ass thighs of yours... that's how you get those men."


    True story. Obviously, some girls dig it.
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  3. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    Konscious, I don't disagree with your point that it is reasonable for women who dress more "provocatively" to expect to attract some negative attention... to walk out the house in hooker gear and expect not to get hooted at & cat-called is crazy. So if its an issue for those women, they need to check themselves and the way they are dressed... otherwise, they need to learn to ignore it.

    I also agree with your point on being careful about how you present yourself... I think much of it has to do with the way a woman carries herself and the environment shes in. I can wear the same outfit to two different places with two different types of crowds and get completely different reactions.

    However, the question posed was how women feel when men comment on their body parts when they walk by and your immediate response was that women should stop soliciting the attention by "advertising body parts"... and thats not always the case (I'll address the "advertising" part in my next response).

    A woman can dress conservative and/or sexy (not overtly provocative) and still receive unwanted comments... and I dont think its as big of an "exception" as you might think. A male co-worker can be "provoked" or aroused by the sight of his female co-workers erect nipples underneath her "conservative" blouse and feel the need to comment on her "nice tits"... or the guy sitting next to a woman on the subway might happen to get a peek at her thong when she leans over and just have to let her know how it made his nature rise. Some dudes are just crass and tasteless... and the women who are the object of their stiff winkie are not to blame... those men are fully capable of and responsible for controlling their own reactions to the stimulus.
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  4. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    This is what you mean by advertising, right? I hear women express that kind of sentiment often, even if they don't come out and say it directly.

    But trying to attract or "get" a man, and appreciating lewd comments are two different things. Many men can and do see a sexily dressed woman and are able to express their attraction without coming foul. Just because a woman is dressed in a way that is intended to entice or attract men doesn't warrant the disrespect.

    Women want men to find them attractive, as do men want women to find them attractive... its not bad, its natural... we're sexual beings... we all do things to make ourselves more physically attractive to the opposite sex... and, for a woman, displaying a little skin and/or a form-fitting outfit to showcase the curves is very effective to that end.

    I don't think that, in and of itself, is wrong... I think having and expressing appreciation for those you find sexually attractive is a healthy thing, as long as you do so respectfully. Men walk around all the time displaying their sculpted chests and arms and other body parts that women find sexually attractive, too... its just that mens' bodies haven't been objectified and negatively sexualized and made "dirty" in the way that womens' have. Men can be overtly sexual and not have their "respectability" called into question... but a woman is for some reason "bad" or "dirty" when she does the same.

    Its that madonna/whore thing... just another way to control womens' sexuality, IMO. I agree with dressing tastefully, a woman can "show those thick thighs" without looking trashy... but a woman shouldn't have to refrain from displaying any part of her body that a man would consider "provocative" [which varies from person-to-person] in order for her to be respected.
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  5. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    Word!

    So wouldn't you change your expectations as well, depending on the type of environment you're in? I mean, why let some ignorant brute make you feel less than a woman? You're giving them too much power.

    I can respond to the same opinion differently if they're said by different people, depending on if I respect their tastes or knowledge of the subject they're opining about.


    See, now you got me thinking about erect nipples for the rest of the day. I heard some girls actually put tape on their nipples to hide that problem. But hey, if you make comments like that at work, you're subject to a sexual harassment case... most guys aren't going to do that, if they're smart... unless, they're close with the woman and it's all good... but even then, you still gotta be careful, because some chicks are shady like that.

    And some chicks lean over on purpose so that a guy she's interested in can check her out... it's happened to me a few times... and this one girl was just so obvious with it... I mean, she was almost swinging her ass back and forth directly in front of me when she leaned over... and her friend was like, "now you know you need to stop." I would've approached, but it was like she put me on the spot and I hate that feeling... I prefer to do it on my own terms.

    I hear ya on the conservative tip... guess it comes with the territory of being well-endowed. It's just hard for me to sympathize when I see so many well-endowed woman puttin' it on display... and they have no discretion... at church, work, funerals, etc. ... it don't matter where they are, they have to flaunt.

    And it's not just the way you dress, but the way you carry yourself more than anything... some guys I know make it a point to fuck wit the ones who strut and walk around like she's the shit... especially if she has that "look" like she knows how to work it. I'm telling you, the meek, humble ones get left alone.
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  6. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    What do you think of those who have the mindset of "I can't respect anybody who doesn't respect themselves?" Do you think walking around in public half-naked is respecting yourself? People tend to deal with one another on the surface upon initial meeting. It's human nature.

    And I think there's a difference between 'sexy' and 'slutty'... ie., Britney Spears=slutty... Halle Berry=sexy. 9 times out of 10, it will be a Britney Spears or a Trina or a Lil Kim type who will receive a "hey baby, let me suck on those titties for a minute" response more so than a Halle Berry type.


    Actually, they can have their respectability called into question... and their bodies have been "objectified" as well... ie., Chippendales, Playgirl, male strippers, soap operas, porn etc.

    Well, that's life... if you can control it, why invite it? Unlike race or gender, in most cases (some people, it's hard to tell), your body parts can be easily hidden. So if you want to command respect and maximize your potential for receiving respect as much as possible, then you have to control your presentation. There's no escaping that. You can't change people... and it's futile to even try... but you can change yourself.
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  7. .+*MiXd_BeBeQ*+

    .+*MiXd_BeBeQ*+ ReMi-Da dRuNkn pRiNcEsS

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    i dont really care, i just ignore those guys who are trying to come at me like that when i am walking around downtown or something unless i am having a bad day, then i might cuss em out or show em the finger.. those type of dudes are not even worth my time. if you wanntalk to me you can talk to me in a normal way cuz my booty or my titties wont answer back
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  8. UnbrokeN

    UnbrokeN Well-Known Member

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    womens bodies are constipated in a way to attract their male counterparts sexually, so you cant fight nature. make whatever you want out of it.
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  9. VishTaphney

    VishTaphney Guest

    if you hang at bars and clubs expect those kinda men no matter how you dress...its simple avoid areas that attract sleazeballs ladies....clubs, parties, bars wild places like that with tons of drinking.

    the truth is women enjoy that shit or else they wouldnt wear such tight clothes they love to be stared at or see guys whispering to there boy drooling when they walk by.

    you reap what you sow.

    birds of a feather flock together women shouldnt complain about that whistling and shit at clubs and bars...thats common behavior...go out of that minute enviroment and you will find the class guys guaranteed.
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  10. AGENTSPITS

    AGENTSPITS Got A BJ From AVA DEVINE!

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    couldnt said it better myself, u droppin some knowledge on these folks in here.

    i treat people how they present themselves, if they respect themself i will respect them... im not saying im gonna disrespect them but there is plenty of guys out there that will take advantage of girls like this and treat them anyway they allow themselves to be treated.

    RESPECT YOURSELF, BE INDEPENDANT and OPEN MINDED, DONT RELY ON ANOTHER PERSON TO BRING YOU HAPPINESS BECAUSE YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR DISSAPOINTMENT EVERYTIME and TREAT PEOPLE HOW U WANT TO BE TREATED AND HOW THEY TREAT U, if They Dont RESPECT YOU THEN U DONT NEED THEM IN YOUR LIFE. thats my best advice to anybody out there
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  11. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    please don't be dumb. i said "NO ONE EVER", that means EVER, not exclusive to the first time you see her. there are males i have known for years, and to this day, even after kickin it with me, they'll say "you got sum big titties!" or something off color like that.

    mind you, because of the size of my breasts (especially in comparison to my waist) no matter what kind of shirt i'm wearing, they're noticeable. I get stares and comments when im wearing a turtleneck, a tanktop, a bathing suit, a v-neck, a scoop neck, a scarf....anything...so what the fuck am i supposed to do? there is no way to justify treating someone you do not know disrespecfully. and all of you guys are fucking coping out, trying to find excuses so you don't sound like dogs. I don't MAKE you do anything. if im not even looking at you, and you go out of your way to yell something like "you a bad bitch!" to me from across the street, how the fuck is that MY fault??

    Igg, you said that provocative equates to anything "revealing", tight fitting, ect. now, i want you to go out in a department store, and find me a pair of pants, and a t-shirt that DOESN'T fit tight. i don't think i should be subjected to any type of off color remarks just because i don't walk around in a fuckin Moo Moo or a burlap sack.

    Granted, women want to look and feel sexy. I will give you that. And if I was walking around in an outfit that lil kim would wear to the club, then yeah, you're right, I shouldn't be complaining. But, when I was 16, grown ass 25 year old men were tryin to holla at me. When I was walking to the bus stop in middle school, men would stop, ask me if i would sleep with them, offer me rides, money, ect. That shit is uncalled for (and you know i wasn't dressed any kinda crazy way, because there are dress codes at school that are enforced).

    like i said, yes I want to feel sexy, but that doesn't mean I should have to tolerate remarks or attention that is negative or unwanted. now, compliments are a different ball game...there is a right and wrong way to do everything.

    true story: my friends were gettin hollered at by some dude they did not want to talk to. they sorta just kept it pushing. dude pulled a gun out on them.

    but i guess they deserved it because they were probably dressed like sluts, right??

    gtfoohwtbs.
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  12. .:AC:.

    .:AC:. Smokes or Bananas

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    i dont understand these long responses

    i can never come up with a post that is very long
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  13. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    are you popping pills??

    unless you watch gay porn, women are the main attraction in porn. You will have a fine ass girl with breast implants, make up to the nines, ect, and then some ugly guy with a pot belly.

    ok, there are mild instances where men have been "objectified" but where, oh where, has a man ever lost their respectability for not wearing a shirt??

    shit let's take it a step farther: when has a man ever lost his respectability for shit, being unrespectable?? how many male hos do you know?? and how many are congratulated, and brag about them being a "pimp"??
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  14. .:AC:.

    .:AC:. Smokes or Bananas

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    i am a unrespectable man

    i take advantage of others

    i am a bad man

    :-(
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  15. .:AC:.

    .:AC:. Smokes or Bananas

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    thats my poem for the day
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  16. UnbrokeN

    UnbrokeN Well-Known Member

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    this is just nature. men are driven by their hormones to fornicate with women. women dont have that much sexual drive unless they have a hormone dissorder, which causes them to by nymphhoes. women instead (statistically spoken) rather build up emotional relationships than sexual. so when girls sleep with many men they are being regarded as sluts, because all throughout history women who slept with many men and not stayed faithful have been outcasts, because of their lack of committment to a family. of course the same counts for men who have families and still sleep with other women, that is also an unjustifyable behaviour.

    men have diffrent struggles than women, we all have our cross to carry tho. but in general i would say women have it far easier in the west than men do.

    it is scientifically proven that women who have many sexual partners are much unhealthier than those who sleep with many. physically and psychologically.


    there is no equality possible, its called biology. males are very sexual by nature, so for them having sex is much more accepted as it is in females, because most females simply dont want to have sex with many diffrent partners (again statistically spoken). so its less acknowledged and accepted that females can have a very active sexual life.
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  17. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    No doubt, that's why I said that I know to expect different reactions depending on the type of crowd I intend to be around... but that presumes I have advance knowledge of the type of people I am going to encounter in any given situation... and that's not always the case. Certain outfits I won't wear to certain spots b/c I know off top that it's gonna be bad business and I don't want to be bothered with all that. But that's not to say that those types of reactions are limited to any particular "environment"... a fool is gonna act a fool any damn where he pleases... he don't need to be at the club or the Freak-nik [damn, you're old! LOL] Ask most women about instances where they have received these types of comments and I bet you they will tell you that the situations vary.

    I don't, b/c those comments don't effect me like that... I don't get indignant, I wear what I feel comfortable in and keep it moving. I would be giving them power if I blamed their idiocy on myself, but I'm well aware that those cats are idiots all by themselves and that it isn't any reflection of my womanhood or lack thereof. "sticks & stones" and all that jazz...


    They do... and its pretty damn sad that they should even have to do all that just to avoid harassment or disrespetful gestures/remarks. How many nikkas you know that have to [or would stand for having to] walk around with tape on their dicks for fear of women harrassing them about it everytime their "print" shows through their pants? Heaven forbid dude should pitch a tent!


    Do you have any idea how frequently sexual harrassment on the job happens? Apparently, many men must not be "that smart", cause they do it all the time. And that's just the cases that get reported. Again, ask women you know who would feel comfortable enough to disclose to you their personal experiences... they'll tell you. My mother won a major lawsuit against a former employer for just that reason... I'll shoot you the info so you can read up on it, its detailed on a few case law websites.

    That woman was clearly trying to get your attention... her method was just wack b/c she overdid it. Like I said, women want men to be physically attracted to them... particularly when they're dressing in ways to display commonly regarded sexual body parts or intentionally acting in sexually suggestive ways to get a guy's attention. Although her method was hella "extra", that still doesn't mean that she was [intentionally] inviting you to disrespect her or that she would have deserved it if you did [you didn't, did you?].

    So what I'm saying is that while she may have been giving you the green light to approach her, she wasn't inviting you to do it in a disrespectful way. You should have given her the business, scaredy cat... lol!


    Word... there's a time and place for everything. Though, well-endowed women have the added burden of taking extra measures [than do the less-endowed] just to minimize the appearance of certain body parts so that they don't receive that unwanted attention. But like my homeboy told me, men have that x-ray vision... the wind could blow a woman's free-flowing dress against her body, revealing its shape, and a man will get aroused just by that visual alone and comment on it... and its not because she [intentionally] "provoked" him.


    True dat. Tell me about "that look", though... how do y'all gauge whether or not a woman can work it... lol.
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  18. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I question how they measure another person's self-respect. If they're basing it solely upon a person wearing revealing clothing [or any type/style of clothing for that matter], I would question their judgement and definition of "self-respect".

    I also question why they feel justified in disrespecting a person, based on those assumptions. You want to hold women accountable, and that's cool... but you need to hold those men accountable for their behavior as well. I might believe a person doesn't respect or feel good about themself, but that doesn't mean I help disrespect them even further. I can have no respect someone and still not feel compelled to broadcast it or be insulting.


    Not necessarily, no... but I also don't think it means you're necessarily disrespecting yourself either. While some might be seeking validation b/c they lack that internally, some people are just really free like that or proud of themselves... they want to show off. Some folks go to nudie beaches or other places where its more aceptable to show skin, doesn't mean they don't value themselves. The attitude would determine how I thought they felt about themself.


    I agree. Sexy vs Slutty has more to do with how those women carry themselves, and not so much about what they wear. Halle dresses just as provocatively as those other women... I've seen her bare ass titties through her sheer tops on the red carpet, for crying out loud... I seriously doubt the guys there were cat-calling and making disrespectful comments to her. She couldn't wear that same fit to a club in the hood, though :()


    Come on now :-* How many men do you know that get the shit harrassed out of them when they walk down the street w/o a shirt on [particularly when he's nicely built]? Or a sexy male model wearing next-to-nothing in a magazine spread? How many folks are going to say "now that's a damn shame... that nikka just aint got no KIND of self-respect"? Certainly not women... other men might hate on them [with that "homo" shit], but women are busy drooling in awe, appreciating the beautiful specimen and making the mental note to get their own asses into the gym so they can meet men who look like that... but they're mos definitely not looking down on those men for displaying body parts that they find sexually attractive.

    Men's body parts just are not negatively sexualized in the way that women's are... they have not historially been attached to notions of shame or contempt like womens' have. I never said mens' bodies weren't ever objectified... but definitley not in the same negative way or near the extent to which womens' have been.


    Word, if you can control it and wish to do so, then do that. But you're not always going to be able to. And that still doesn't excuse the behavior of the offender.

    Can be, but shouldn't necessarily have to be.


    Truth.

    You can't change everybody, but you can most definitely challenge bogus ideals and effect change in some people.
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  19. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    And that is what I have been trying to explain. Its not as simple as saying "Oh, you got disrespected? Well then don't ask for it next time". Thats straight blame-shifting. "You don't want me to rob your house? Then lock your doors or else you're asking for it and it's your fault when I rob you!" Don't mean I wouldn't be realistic and smart to lock my doors and do all that I can to prevent getting robbed... but also doesn't mean you have the right to rob me, either.

    I don't think the men are getting it because they don't live it and experience it first-hand so they don't see the frequency or varied conditions under which this kinda shit happens... especially if they themselves don't engage in the behavior. You're not unique, sammii... a lot of women experience what you just described. I know women who are extremely self-conscious and ashamed of their bodies b/c growing up they would receive all kinds of negative, unwelcomed, unsolicited attention from grown ass perverts... especially the girls that were more developed at early ages.

    Exactly what I have been saying.

    LMFAO... I'm over here saying that same damn thing.
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  20. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    *shaking my head* The sad thing is that you're probably dead serious.


    What about women who are single and don't have family commitments?



    Much like the concept of "race" was once scientifically substantiated [by White scientists, no less] to "prove" that blacks [and any other "race" that wasn't white] were genetically inferior to whites, in order to justify slavery and other forms of racial oppression... only to later be scientifically disproven as a bunch of bull. Not even "science" is above personal subjectivity and bias... nor is it above criticism or skepticism.

    And define "unhealthy". Couldn't it also be said that men who sleep around are also "less healthy" than men who don't?

    Please do share those scientific studies.

    If males are so much more sexual and having more sex than women, who in thee hizzel are those men having sex with? Blow up dolls? For every straight man that is having sex, there is a woman having sex right along with him. Just because its not socially acceptable doesn't mean women don't still do it.
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