~L.I.A.R~

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Mind~$oul, Feb 26, 2004.

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  1. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    before i developed my
    own mind...
    i wandered in footsteps that
    wasnt mine...
    and learned that great stories
    told to me were
    all lies...
    my soul finally gave away
    and inside of me
    jesus died
    inside of me is where i
    can only cry...
    inside of me there is a phoenix that
    will arise...
    and sorch the
    skies...
    with my blood...
    i never feared the thought of
    death because...
    the end never goes without
    a peaceful pause...
    and i could only wish i could
    explain the things
    i saw...
    my insecurities are becoming
    my downfall...
    if i could sing
    i'll sing the color of
    the sky...
    and the melody will be so in tune
    with my demise...
    i dont believe in myself, so what is there
    to believe in life...
    but i contradict myself
    everytime...
    with each breath
    of mine...
    there's a reason
    somewhere...
    i'm just a liar...

    Learing
    I
    Am
    Real...



    ehh yeah...it's not all that. It's not really finished though, but i think i'ma just keep it like this. I'm trying to come back to poetry.
    test
  2. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    Who was i to critizie the path outlined
    by the icy tears i cried for
    in my heart
    jesus died
    rosary beads and
    water baptized
    the soul of a lamb and
    body of a lion
    see i was not who they saw for
    skin so often covered
    my flaws
    beseached these blessings
    amongst a storm of sin
    eyelids hang low
    keeping emotion in

    this was my sanctuary
    and i prayed to the alter of
    forgivness knowing i would do it again
    dry tears fell slowly as i
    wondered down the isles of remenisence
    cluttering page after page with my pen
    eventually the memmories sank in and
    i was forced to spit each vowel out the
    corners of my mouth
    and when the after taste ran thin I again
    drank from the cup of filth lust and
    beautiful sin
    i just cant stop
    it feels so good to give in...........



    ......fuck it thats all i got right now

    man that line

    and inside of me
    jesus died


    that has to be my favorite line by you ever and one of my favorites out of all the ones i got...

    that shit inspired me

    glad you decided to post this
    test
  3. Zeta

    Zeta New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2004
    Messages:
    371
    Wow, i've felt that way too bro. Good expressions!
    Peace
    test
  4. j$crILLa

    j$crILLa ~$crillVille~

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2001
    Messages:
    12,589
    nice drop for sure, felt the whole thang
    test
  5. iLL Script.

    iLL Script. ~Poetic~

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2002
    Messages:
    15,884
    inside of me is where i
    can only cry...


    i never feared the thought of
    death because...
    the end never goes without
    a peaceful pause...
    and i could only wish i could
    explain the things
    i saw...
    my insecurities are becoming
    my downfall...


    very glad 2 see u writtin' again. this was a nice piece, quite a few lines stood out 2 me, veyr nice job
    stay up
    test
  6. nice, this was a Brave piece, deep.
    test
  7. InTheStars

    InTheStars Reflective

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2004
    Messages:
    510
    I love every piece of this poem. Before I even finished I had to catch my breath because there were tears in my eyes. It really touched me in a way that I have not been touched lately by words. I adore it. That is all I have to say.....My breath is taken away at the moment. Much luv
    test
  8. HOLLOW 55

    HOLLOW 55 You niggas cant trap here

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2002
    Messages:
    15,908
    Bout time you came back man.

    Good shit.
    test
  9. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    test
  10. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    uppin for the last time.
    test
  11. Lady_Love

    Lady_Love "Let it Marinate..."

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2004
    Messages:
    38
    see mind...there u go with that shit.
    makin a grown woman cry......completeness....

    we must get up soon.....hit me up when u can.

    Again, completeness.....i loved this. :MattMan_f
    test
  12. misspimp

    misspimp a.k.a KATURAH

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2003
    Messages:
    1,308
    Excellent piece, conccept, stylistically<if thats how u spell it or if its even a word...anyway i dont want to qoute anything cause the whole thing was wonderful...loved this!~

    mad love
    test
  13. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2001
    Messages:
    950
    Mind you never really left poetry silly =), retiring was just a marketing ploy for your self to get more replies hehe...as always hot
    test
  14. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2003
    Messages:
    2,940
    Wow that was real nice. The whole piece was fire I'd like to see it when it is completed, but in the mean while damn you hit some chords with this. Just a nice kind of self reflection type peace, just real nice and easy to relate with. The flow of the piece was nice, and just the whole thing was nice to read.


    Stay Up, Much Love, Peace
    test
  15. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    inside of me jesus died

    ......................
    test
  16. StubbilyMug

    StubbilyMug DayorDollar Records

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2003
    Messages:
    441
    eh, too much sounds generic
    but i did like the scorch the skies with my blood
    and really felt the peaceful pause line, but im not sure if i heard it somewhere before

    i dont know if it was on purpose but the rhyme scheme break in the middle then back really helped shape it well

    how many times people got to tell us to stay up, then i see all this shit written?
    dont be scared to turn your head.

    be easy man
    test
  17. ~Eloquent

    ~Eloquent Narcissistic....

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2003
    Messages:
    4,076
    good to see u comin back with it cuz ive been wantin to check out more of your work...

    alot of times learnin that your real doesnt get the respect of others...
    theyre so caught up with material possessions and fashion statements these days...
    that they disregard someone's most important asset
    their own heart....
    test
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