keystyle

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by *GeMiNeYeZ*, May 31, 2003.

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  1. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Messages:
    11,131
    do you know what its like to be so alive...
    ... you're dead...?

    i'm talking so alive that to the world, the universe, all matter in its very existance INCLUDING the high heavens...
    ... you cease to exsist...?

    so wrapped up in what matters to you because no one else seems to
    care
    about the reality of your storm, as if it isnt even there...

    ... or is it...

    ::thunder::


    can you tell me in the least bit how it feels
    when every belief you've ever had turns into eels...
    shocking your mind to numbness, slithering away from you who once were pure... back into the dark waters of the black sea we call the world...

    the black sea we call the world...

    in the world all we see is black...


    wait a minute...if black symbolizes death
    then...
    ... who is the one thats really dead here?

    am i yet still... alive...?


    ~ § ~​

    i think i want to continue this one day...
    test
  2. Kpucha

    Kpucha Guest

    No, you need to continue this......it has a beautiful voice! Especially here:

    "so wrapped up in what matters to you because no one else seems to
    care
    about the reality of your storm, as if it isnt even there...

    ... or is it...

    ::thunder::

    This has a purity of thought to me, gorgeous piece!
    test
  3. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
    Messages:
    869
    Yes, continue this piece, because you've started it off great and I know it'll end even better at the pace you're on. Other than that, I love the concepts within your poetry, as well as the metaphorical content. Both of the joints I've read from you, I thought were impressive due to the aspects, especially organization and the topic overall. My blessings..
    test
  4. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Messages:
    11,131
    aww, thank you!
    test
  5. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Messages:
    1,734
    Keep going with it....you may surprise yourself with where you take it. That's the beauty of freewriting. However, if it feels complete to YOU, then let it be.
    test
  6. this was a gem, but it needed more in a sense, more length..keep it up girl;-)
    test
  7. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2002
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    37,722
    "so wrapped up in what matters to you because no one else seems to
    care
    about the reality of your storm, as if it isnt even there..."
    ^^^
    that part spoke to me

    good piece........keep going with it....
    test
  8. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
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    12,678
    wow......youve been gone for a while, and i forgot how much i liked your work...this was excellent....loved it from top to bottom.....pls stick around this time...lol

    UPin for ya
    test
  9. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Messages:
    11,131
    lol i'm trying... had alot of things going on! senior finals... prom... 18th birthday... scholarship applications... now graduation and preparing for college! i'm off from school now so i'll be around alot at least til august... but i'm gettin a laptop for graduation so i'll still be around while in college i hope!
    test
  10. utsukushikumegami

    utsukushikumegami That's Ms. Goddess to you

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2002
    Messages:
    2,715
    my God....::puts down her writer's quill:: I'm not longer allowed to write...EVER AGAIN CONTINUE THIS NOW PLEASE! Nothing but the best from my twin! Keep em' coming!
    test
  11. PrOvOcAtiVeThOuGhT

    PrOvOcAtiVeThOuGhT New Member

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    well well I havent seen you post in ages...but you always show love to my pieces..so I'm more then happy to return the favor ..or so I thought...cuz as it turned out..I did maself a favor by readin it..it kinda spoke to me... cuz I've got a similar thought proces..I ask myself similar..q's...lovin this piece...


    <---strike by the way
    test
  12. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    about time i get to see some of ya work again. This was a nice keystyle here and you should finish it like everybody else said. The concept was off the hook....

    "so wrapped up in what matters to you because no one else seems to
    care
    about the reality of your storm, as if it isnt even there..."

    Yeah you still got it alright

    one luv
    test
  13. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Messages:
    11,131
    aww, thanks you guys! ~.^ i'm glad to be back!
    test
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