joy

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by CurrolinaCenter, Jun 18, 2003.

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  1. CurrolinaCenter

    CurrolinaCenter PSYCHO STALKER TYPE

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2003
    Messages:
    836
    id like to kill but i wont rejoice
    i will when theres no recourse
    no marriage no divorce
    no carriage no remorse
    forced against your will
    theres no hard feelings
    building deep from within
    tending to come out of nowhere
    blank stares into black holes
    until you see the light
    test
  2. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    17,331
    kind of hard to understand once you read it. But i think i got what you was gettin at. Keep it up

    one luv
    test
  3. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    i like it...wish there were more...but i like it
    test
  4. Infonation

    Infonation Info for the Nation

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    Jun 3, 2003
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    Short, but perfect, almost like a thought. Very creative.
    ^One
    test
  5. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    i would like to see you elevate this piece some more, i like where you going, but it just felt that it ended too soon.
    test
  6. varentao

    varentao New Member

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    765
    Was nice.

    Though i felt it was bursting to be compressed more. You know, for such a short piece, it seemed too loose. And therefore too short.

    But nonetheless, nice;.
    test
  7. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

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    I'ma be honest and blunt, so don't take it personal...What the fuck were you talking about?I mean...it rhymes ok...it sounds ok...but what are you talking about? [dunno] It was a little all over the place, and it just didn't seem like YOU were feeling it when you wrote it.
    test
  8. Johnnie French

    Johnnie French Voodooradio.podomatic.com

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    I'm not fully understanding it BUT I do like the fact that it's short cause it gives you that scattered, lost, and scared feeling. If there was a precursor to it that might enlighten us more.
    test
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