~Jesus Got Played~

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Mind~$oul, Jul 5, 2004.

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  1. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
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    Keystyle I did a few days ago.


    i'm tired of the same played
    out subjects...

    tried of dreaming about the colors of heavens
    door steps...
    I may live long enough to
    regret this...
    but these tatted verses in hopes
    for forgiveness...
    I often find
    ridicolous....
    because we really dont
    mean it...
    we playing
    jesus...
    you cant hold a sin as
    a secret...
    and you cant live the way a preacher
    falsely preaches...
    ask those he ran off
    to massachusettes...
    mark me as a sinner because I choose
    no religon...
    I know somebody keeps
    me breathing....
    but i'm too stubborn to
    believe it...
    and within that same breath you
    just witness...
    how we often
    contradict...(ourselves)
    but we're to ashame to
    admit it...
    so we just walk a sinful(simple)
    life blinded....


    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=767019

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=766832

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=766217
    test
  2. MarQuise*

    MarQuise* Can You Hear Me*

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2004
    Messages:
    5,268
    well u kno wha u thought of this from the first time i read it, but didnt u add more on? I not sure *i not feelin well* anywayz, this was interesting, and it was madd different, ya know i Lv ur work, and i wish that u posted more often, *happy birthday again by the way sweety*
    Much Lv
    *S*
    test
  3. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    2,245
    I've got a poem almost JUST LIKE THIS one here, but I'm just a little bit more on the direct line of fuck what religion says, lol...Anyhow, I liked this cause it's different than your usual writing, but not straying at all from what you speak about...good shit...
    test
  4. D i a m o n d

    D i a m o n d Pretty Pink, Baby Blue

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2001
    Messages:
    8,014
    tried of dreaming about the colors of heavens
    door steps...
    I may live long enough to
    regret this...
    but these tatted verses in hopes
    for forgiveness...
    I often find
    ridicolous....
    because we really dont
    mean it...
    we playing
    jesus...
    you cant hold a sin as
    a secret...



    that was STRONG

    you cant hold a sin as
    a secret...

    that is sooo TRUE

    I loved this on the first read...and I love it even more now...that's real talk and I really really enjoyed this piece
    test
  5. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2004
    Messages:
    16,576
    you cant hold a sin as
    a secret...


    damn..


    mark me as a sinner because I choose
    no religon...


    I know how that feels as well.

    the closer was really strong as well.. Good drop relative.
    test
  6. InTheStars

    InTheStars Reflective

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2004
    Messages:
    510
    I thought that was great!!!
    My fave lines were

    You can't hold a sin
    as a secret


    This keystyle was great and I can definatley relate. It is hard for me to write anything about Jesus and somehow I can't and won't believe in something untill I am proven. Sorta like my other fave lines from this piece,

    I know somebody keeps
    me breathing....
    but i'm too stubborn to
    believe it...
    and within that same breath you
    just witness...
    how we often
    contradict...(ourselves)
    but we're to ashame to
    admit it...
    so we just walk a sinful(simple)
    life blinded....


    Real nice drop.
    test
  7. Clarksvegas_Dan

    Clarksvegas_Dan Registered Voter

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2004
    Messages:
    767
    I really didn't get this. But I'll read it a few more times. maybe I'll get the rhythm, or understand the rhymes. But then again, maybe I was just confused. I dunno.
    test
  8. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2003
    Messages:
    2,940
    Yea I guess I get sick of thinking of heaven and getting there, sometimes you just say fuck it, what is real... is god real is heaven reachable... religion is hard cause it is all on belief made facts, not real facts. Anyways I like how you didn't rule out there being a god or heaven, you just questioned them both. I'm liking the piece and it was a nice keystyle man... gotta love it


    Stay Up, Much Love, Peace
    test
  9. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    i actually wrote a lil poem to this but i didnt like it so i just erased it

    anyhow...

    i really like this.always enjoy coming in here and seeing something by u...

    honestly...

    if i ever stop writting or stop coming online all together i will always enjoy your work

    you are the only person that i can say that about...

    very nice man...i'm gonna write something now
    test
  10. Heavenly Father

    Heavenly Father ~~~~~~~

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2003
    Messages:
    19
    so true so very true. alot of people don't realize that God is always there, without him satan would have killed us along time ago. evil in the world has nothing to do with God condeeming you but rather satan trying to destroy our faith in God..ok enough preaching, stay strong always
    test
  11. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    *shurgs*

    i havent shown u any of my work in LONG time so heres what i wrote to your shit

    Sometimes I wonder if life is a dream b/c
    Nothing really appears to be what it seems when
    ears are open and eyes to the sky
    Lord Jehovah Allah Yah
    Who should I choose
    Mind numb
    Heart heavy
    tempuls beating
    Cluttered mind

    For a moment I was open and

    Sin slivered through the cracks and found
    A home in the depths of my self made asylum
    lost
    phisically
    mentally
    emotionally and
    spiritually
    hopeing that the enevitalbe isnt enevitable
    but what since does that make
    test
  12. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    Messages:
    17,331
    appreciate the love
    test
  13. illpoetical

    illpoetical raising the bar everyday

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2000
    Messages:
    1,533
    very nice i liked the way it flowed, tight piece

    1
    test
  14. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2004
    Messages:
    5,023
    That was good M~$, I can agree when you said you choose no religion b/c I feel the same. In the beginning I guess that should've been "tired" instead of tired, but anyway I'm glad I saw this; it's something different but at the same time interesting. Very good read-what's new!
    Love
    test
  15. ~Eloquent

    ~Eloquent Narcissistic....

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2003
    Messages:
    4,076
    nothing was to complex about this...
    it was just straight forward and to the point....


    tried of dreaming about the colors of heavens
    door steps...
    I may live long enough to
    regret this...
    but these tatted verses in hopes
    for forgiveness...
    I often find
    ridicolous....
    because we really dont
    mean it...
    we playing
    jesus...
    you cant hold a sin as
    a secret...
    test
  16. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    thanks again for the love

    last up!
    test
  17. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2002
    Messages:
    17,838
    I wont quote this whole piece...I'll mere;y say...it's lovely!

    I have felt this way sometimes.

    Much respect for you dropping this!

    Peave luv!
    test
  18. quotive

    quotive 3

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2004
    Messages:
    13,756
    I read this when you first posted it. I must say, its true.

    "I know somebody keeps
    me breathing....
    but i'm too stubborn to
    believe it..."

    I share the same beliefs as you. Hurts, but its true. I liked that part.


    Pretty good, should have gotten deeper into it. But it was nice, keep writin' man.
    test
  19. ChyllTyrant

    ChyllTyrant AmIEternalOrAnEternalist?

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2003
    Messages:
    795
    life blinded was a good term, and the message was strong, but it didn't really do too much for me. i'm not sure if the "three periods" after each line is really necessary either...

    it was an alright poem tho, no doubt.

    PEACE
    test
  20. nathedawg

    nathedawg New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,804
    uppin for mind

    good piece here
    test
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