"It Still Goes Pop" verse

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by dsp2k5, Oct 26, 2011.

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  1. dsp2k5

    dsp2k5 Dime Sack Pimp

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    Waking up everyday in this darkness of nonsense
    Im still feeling unconsience, but Im consience
    Maybe if i go to the market and spew vomit all on da carpet
    and get caught wit my pants down, forcing me to flaunt it
    Then I might feel alive, even If I gotta feel embarrasment
    Any natural feeling I have these days, I gladly cherish it
    Treasure it, Ive lost touch wit reality, where is it?
    It isnt fair is it? Just sit there and bare witness
    The way Im livin' will change dearly ...
    And maybe these demons and haters will leave if they hear me
    Pistol loaded ... its my "big bang theory"
    If they clearly dont get it, they better stay weary
    If they nearly step on my toes, Ill go off ...
    I stay sippin' my purple syrup, although I have no cough
    I stay sippin' it till Im fucked up, and have no thoughts ...
    But if this shit don't stop, it's not a glock, but it still goes "pop"
    test
  2. Joe_Young

    Joe_Young Fuck your heroes.

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2004
    Messages:
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    If the theme of this piece is one of falling into the same old rut, I think you could amp that up a little more. The middle seems to be where it needs a little more something. There's a vague wave at people leaving you alone if they hear you, but hearing your gun, which is syrup, which is why you don't have any natural feelings which is why you're back to drinking syrup and... and I just hear Search saying pop-pop-POP! with the end of this, but that's probably just me.
    test
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