Ink Never Dries

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by absolute zero, Feb 28, 2005.

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  1. absolute zero

    absolute zero Among the living

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    Two hours, bleeding puddles onto the coldest street
    With gazing eyes. I search for a way out of these whispers,
    And ache for the moment when these vultures will leave
    Me to my wording: It is my only escape.
    These holes are gushing now, and the stench
    Of my funeral looms quietly over my head
    Like a midnight lullaby; spinning and sending me in spirals.
    I have come to regret these wicked events,
    And it seems as if I'll need more than a mirror to turn time backwards,
    As they will need more than a compass to find me.
    Flash lights and hounds to sniff the ground beneath us.
    I'll lay under her forever, but for now I will just wait
    With a still heart and open eyes,
    My fingers gripped the weapon I trust,
    but this ink may never dry...
    test
  2. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

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    And it seems as if I'll need more than a mirror to turn time backwards,
    As they will need more than a compass to find me.

    mmm that was nice. I'ma tell you from the jump though, I'ma have to get back at this tomorrow cuz its past 11 on my end lol and I need to get some sleep. But I saw you posted something and the song "Reunited" came to mind lol. Been a minute since I read something from you in other words.

    My fingers gripped the weapon I trust,
    I like how you said that, "weapon" very good yet careful choice of word, it just brings a calm feel to it. like breaking the ice. BUT-with what your poem is talking about, we all gotta face the music. It ain't easy, but what is--you know,

    -Much Love
    test
  3. screamer

    screamer New Member

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    This is like a slice of an action melodrma film. The world starts spinnin and then your dyin....You nicely depicted the confusion and regret of being near death (involved in a shoot out) but this is a story, (it seems so to me) and more needs to be written....

    or at least say.. to be continued....
    test
  4. Madnick

    Madnick Modern Laureate

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    it wasnt what i expected it to be but it was real nice. It had a lot of emotion in it and that seemed to tie everything together the last couple of lines were awesome.

    With a still heart and open eyes,
    My fingers gripped the weapon I trust,
    but this ink may never dry...

    I thought that this was a nice way to finish off this poem nice job. And this part seemed so descriptive and had a nice element to it.


    And it seems as if I'll need more than a mirror to turn time backwards,
    As they will need more than a compass to find me.


    Overall nice drop I loved reading it.
    test
  5. Philly_215

    Philly_215 The Silent Poet

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    but this ink may never dry...

    ^^ the way you put it this line haunted me. yo but i liked it had a dark feel to it

    nice

    stay up dude
    test
  6. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    "These holes are gushing now, and the stench
    Of my funeral looms quietly over my head
    Like a midnight lullaby; spinning and sending me in spirals"

    ^Those lines were in incredible man.

    A very short piece but it held a lot of weight. Piece was in the dark and the reader was kinda forced to dig into the lines. I'm writing a poem similar to this. I might have you to check it out before I post it.

    One luv
    test
  7. absolute zero

    absolute zero Among the living

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    ^^^please do. It'd be an honor, or somethin.

    God Bless
    test
  8. Amerrorist

    Amerrorist American Terror Is..

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    You wording was pieced to perfection. Very few people can paint such imagery with words. My friend.. you are one of those few. Beautiful poem.
    test
  9. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

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    woooooord up

    talk about a inspiration!!!!.....ode to the pen and breath of a poet....this was mind blowing work right here....the idea of leaving your legacy in the ink...and the imagery!?!?!?....the word play added a poetic touch to this as well....different from your other pieces but just as strong....props

    Peace and Godbless
    test
  10. AlmostFamous

    AlmostFamous U got a problem?

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    You from Sioux Falls South Dakota arent you?!!

    btw nice post....
    test
  11. absolute zero

    absolute zero Among the living

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    yeah i'm from su fu.....holla at me on aim or somethin.
    test
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