~In Love With A White Woman~

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Mind~$oul, Sep 23, 2004.

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  1. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    A Keystyle...i'm struggling people.


    I
    Came back to you
    cause I knew...
    you'll be waiting for me
    though i'm the
    fool...
    because you're
    only...
    innocently killing me
    slowly...

    backed into a corner
    running nose...
    nappy hair
    dirty clothes...
    stick a needle into
    my soul...and
    let the corruption
    flow...
    pray to
    a god...?
    no...
    gotta face these demons
    on my own...
    a fiend's sorrow
    is so deep to
    the bone...
    no remorse to
    hold...
    rolling paper taken
    from pages of the bible...
    smoking away a belief that
    was lied to you...

    I
    came back to you
    cause i knew...
    you loved taking
    lives...
    loving you is caressing
    suicide...
    loving you is putting my
    past behind...
    not from a
    pen...but
    through this
    syringe...
    a cowards
    revenge...
    my only way to face the
    pain from
    within....
    the love for white
    women...
    test
  2. BrokenSoul8604

    BrokenSoul8604 Apparently Emotionless

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    705
    hmmm....this was an interesting piece...

    "stick a needle into
    my soul...and
    let the corruption
    flow..."

    That line hit me...... nice wordplay

    "loving you is caressing
    suicide..."

    sounds like you hate the fact that you love her....

    anyways...good read....stay up

    God bless
    test
  3. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 1999
    Messages:
    2,986
    thanks for peeping my poem yo

    this piece was interesting

    I like the middle part the most

    Yeah what is up with our black brothers and white women?...I feel the same way yo?...I dated white girls didnt work out...but now I want to find me a soul sister or something other then white girls

    I dunno yo

    stay up
    test
  4. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    12,678
    sometimes i wonder
    how long i could possibly be
    stuck in this addiction
    my heart screams for repentece
    but my mind doesnt even
    aknowledge the sin in this

    perhaps its just uneducated foolishness
    people yearn to become things
    theyve dreamed not wittnessed
    for reality reaveals weakness and
    memmories of past grivinces

    .........

    may finish that latter...what u think...wrote that after i read this again this morning

    shits nice man...like those lines i pointed out to u on aim...wish it were longer though

    UPIN
    test
  5. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    lol no, no, no, man. This poem is about drug addiction.


    heroin, coke, and Mary Jane.
    test
  6. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 1999
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    2,986
    LMAO...oh snap now after re-reading it makes more sense

    I get it now...lol...my bad....it still can work both ways...lol

    wow really good poem in that case
    test
  7. Cockmaster700

    Cockmaster700 Worst Textcee Of All Time

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    Feb 27, 2004
    Messages:
    2,048
    look better watch those that seem inocent you hate me and I'm inocent just don't forget who you are you can love anyone you want to now listen kid

    1. you're the true Jew the chosen and don't forget that
    test
  8. quotive

    quotive 3

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    13,756
    ahaha @ the title..

    diggin' the structure, kinda reminds me of the style ive been using as of late..

    i thought it was about an actual white woman myself.. good drop m~$

    haven't read anything by you lately.. stop hidin' lol
    test
  9. Sole Sovereign

    Sole Sovereign Hungry But Never Starving

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    I told you on aim, I can relate to this piece, lol.. nice style too. Shit was dope
    test
  10. ~Eloquent

    ~Eloquent Narcissistic....

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    4,076
    oh word...this was about your herion problem(or past)
    it was definitely touching
    i know how it feels to turn to drugs cuz you think no one else will hold you down...

    ive been addicted to the weed cuz it helps me limit my depression
    and it makes me feel more comfortable, with all the anxiety attacks ive had with being sober
    nice drop
    test
  11. Sun_Flower

    Sun_Flower Bluez By Loves Eye

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    Mar 12, 2002
    Messages:
    647
    Wow you got me for a minute, brought back the days when I use to "loving you is caressing
    suicide... loving you is putting my past behind... not from a pen... but through this syringe..."

    Powerful state to be in, I find this piece very creative, for a moment I thought you was talking about a love interest and how she came back to you. But to find out later to the end that its a drug that has you like this is believable. This piece shows how honest and real it is to be an addict, and at the same time when craves hit the dome and its all you got!

    Got me thinking I love this gotta upppppp!
    test
  12. Revo1

    Revo1 Rhythms & Sounds

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2003
    Messages:
    88
    This was ill. Loved the metaphor. A keystyle, huh? Too many cats are doing that. There's nothing like taking the time to fully unwind, wine and dine that white lady, homey. LOL. If I do a keystyle, I won't tell anyone. See if they can tell. I wouldn't have been able to tell if you hadn't told us before you shared the piece with us. Nice work, poet. Good share.

    WUN.
    test
  13. sagacious infant

    sagacious infant reflecting the sun

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 1999
    Messages:
    14,487
    This joint reminded me of Wendy Williams and her repetition of "me and the white lady" in her autobio.

    drugs scare me
    test
  14. Revo1

    Revo1 Rhythms & Sounds

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    88
    ^Word. I don't be fucking with Miss Blow or Any Other Joe either.
    test
  15. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    3,706
    loving you is caressing suicide. malik- as always, an emotional and beatiful piece.
    test
  16. illpoetical

    illpoetical raising the bar everyday

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    Messages:
    1,533
    i liked it alot, you came strong and used alot of methaphors in this. tight stay up
    test
  17. AliuqeT

    AliuqeT New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2004
    Messages:
    65
    i lyked this fa real' had me fooled too i thought it was about sum gurl, nice twist keep this up
    test
  18. nathedawg

    nathedawg New Member

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    Oct 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,804
    rolling paper taken
    from pages of the bible...

    done that before!! oops.. im going to hell, interesting piece man

    good drop, the structure reminds me of my writing sometimes, because of the continuous .... and... know what i mean...

    Here i lay in my dismay... thinking of all the "could-of beens" and "should-of beens"
    The pipe lying next to me continues to talk to me, words of sin... "come on in to my world"
    My right eye is twitching from the night before, could it be from the meth, quite possibly..
    Here i lay in my dismay... trying to find answers to all my deadly cancers.. left eye starts to give up on me... Heartbeat begins to pick up and my breathing is getting heavier by the minute... Here i lay in my dismay only to realize that im a junkie that has gone overboard... why do i continue with this?..... could it be because im addicted or could it be its the only thing i know.... Looking for guidance on this issue is way too late... Im 6 ft deep in my apartment's walls and im vomiting what i have left of a body... Mom, dad I want you to know that im okay, ill be alright... for im on a high that i cant even deny... Oh fuck shit pissed my self, alright now im laying in a puddle of piss, wow, look how grown up i am now, im sure this would be humourous if anyone else was here... Inner conscience is starting to kick in and all i can do is reject it... Eyes get real fucking blurry, and i pass out without a worry...




    a lil something i felt like writing after reading this
    test
  19. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

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    Feb 27, 2004
    Messages:
    5,023
    Y'all should be the ones collaboratin here hah.
    Anyway Mind-what kinda writer's block were you in? Take me there one day! Sho didn't show it in this poem, magnificent comeback I guess you could call it. Had me fooled, but something made me think otherwise, couldn't put my hand on what it was. When you think of it, it could be about anything.

    rolling paper taken
    from pages of the bible...
    smoking away a belief that
    was lied to you...

    ^Pretty wise of something to say, I guess its how its worded, and when you say it, its like damn I know he didn't just say that. Keep it up, impressed with it. Yes sir-
    -Much Love
    test
  20. Poetickz

    Poetickz The Humble One

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,008
    this was niiiccee, i feel ya on the love, but not jus on white women, but all women, or at least the ones i felt for, all been ungrateful, made me sacrifice everything i had, and still didnt get shit.... anyway before i start ramblin...

    this part in the 3rd verse was off the hook man, felt every word in there, the wording, how the delivery goes.

    this was tight, some of that resortin to unholy shit, cuz shes brought you down to such a low level, you dont give a shit bout nothin...feelin it

    after reading this again lookin for more quotables, i decided this is a really cold piece, very strong message, full of emotion...keep doin you man.
    one
    test
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