If you were a super-villian....Which superhero would you rival?

Discussion in 'The Alley' started by Vince Vaughn, Jun 6, 2005.

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  1. Vince Vaughn

    Vince Vaughn New Member

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    Let me be the first to say Superman.

    Superman is an arrogant piece of shit, and I'd crush his face while he does his pathetic writing at work in his normal virgin nerd form. Yeah...Clark Kent...big fucking mystery....and I'd fuck lois lane on Clark's desk....because lets face it, he's never gonna get the balls to do it himself. Vagina seems to be his 2nd form of kryptonite.


    2ndly - spiderman.

    Why? Have you seen that commercial...Capital One I believe? The way spiderman talks in that irritates me. And i'd kill him, steal his peter parker capital one card and commit some random identity theft crimes and purchase many odd things with his card. He'd never know, because I would've already killed him....but credit companies would talk...and his name would be tarnished for forever.

    Spiderman is lame. Got bit by a spider so now he can fly from building to building with some super web? I'm not buying it. The day I see a spider shoot web out of one of it's 2 arms....you may have me on your side spiderman. And how the fuck do you see out of those chrome eyes? Bullshit. Spiders have 8 eyes by the way....may want to make the upgrade on your costume before I smash your ass into the ground.




    anyway - you?
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  2. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    the whole xmen team, id teach them mormon fucks to mess with the best

    they think they are hot shit but yet they all hang around and eat chips and drink pop while watching disney...
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  3. Vince Vaughn

    Vince Vaughn New Member

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    oh, and on a side note I'd hang out with Wolverine and maybe even Gambit....batman if I need some new home appliances. Wolverine would probably drink too much and try to fight me because he doesn't know who his dad is. Later...once he was sober...I'd tell him that I am his father. But...he'd be really confused and believe that I'm REALLY Darth Vader from star trek....due to the scenario.
    Gambit would just throw cards into the wall and say "c'mon guys, lets just be cool....have a fun time. Does this computer have solitare"....I'd say "ok gambit. and yes, it does have solitare, but I recommend that you not play it because you're a faggot superhero. Hahahaha....superheroes....you too wolverine."............"guys, I'm just kidding".

    That's how it'd go. I dreamed it so.
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  4. Vince Vaughn

    Vince Vaughn New Member

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    hell yes. I see you've thought about this previously aswell. Fuck Xmen...I'd break that parapalegic leader of theirs in half without a sweat. I can gaurantee that one a victory.
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  5. Steve Schade

    Steve Schade Bears>you

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    Captain America, what a fuckin tool.
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  6. ANGEL-OF-DEATH

    ANGEL-OF-DEATH ................

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    I'd beef with Goku
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  7. Nazi Camp Jesus

    Nazi Camp Jesus New Member

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    superman.

    he really is a fucking faggot.

    it's really not his fault though, it's on whom ever created him

    the guy is just too perfect.

    he only has one weakness, and it doesn't even exist on this fucking planet. its just not fair to create a character so flawless.
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  8. XpOeT

    XpOeT no title needed

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    aqua man....enough said
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  9. Krighst

    Krighst ,//,';./';.//''./';''/.;

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    Fantastic Four. They're gay...I mean, 'fantastic'?...Come on...
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  10. Stranger

    Stranger New Member

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    darth vader
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  11. stellationfunk

    stellationfunk New Member

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    Spiders don't have any arms. They have eight legs. Spiders have to shoot their web from somewhere right? Well, guess what Peter Parker isn't a spider... he's Spider-Man.

    Anyway, I'd knock out Flash Gordon faster than Flash Gordon.
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  12. yayo

    yayo Polar Bear LaFlare

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    id rival santa clause

    and if you say hes not a superhero then i dont know what to tell you, he lives in a remote area, has a gang of flying venison and can cram his fat ass down a chimney by rubbing his nose, he can also deliver over 3 billion gifts in 1 single night and fits them all on a sleigh....hes got some serious superhero powers

    but hes a fat fuck, his gal is ass ugly and all he does is eat and make midgets dressed in costumes work all the time

    id be the grinch because i fucking hate kids, i hate fat people and i dont like good will or magic very much...i reckon id bake him some poisonous chocolate chip cookies and make him a video collage of children suffering worldwide that he could watch before the cyanide sets in...but first id let the elves line up and fuck his mouth and his woman in front of him before i smash his nuts in with a wiffle ball bat taped up with lead tape at the end and press his fingers in a pencil sharpener

    the idea of santa has always been good to me, then i figured out santa doesnt do shit, parents buy the gifts and that lazy fatass gets all the credit for it, ON JESUS'S FUCKIN BIRTHDAY NONE-THE-LESS
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  13. Vince Vaughn

    Vince Vaughn New Member

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    Good points.

    Spiders don't have arms, they have legs?

    you say tomato I say tomato. My dog has only 2 arms.
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  14. Look im Gangsta

    Look im Gangsta New Member

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    Captin America, 2 Pac, Martin Luther King or Xavier.
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  15. SuB zer0

    SuB zer0 A.D.R.I.A.N.N.A

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    superman

    just cause he wears those tight ass drawls on the outside of his suit
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  16. BEEF Z

    BEEF Z New Member

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    I'd destroy the Autobots
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  17. Nam Dekan

    Nam Dekan i got a tip in my pocket

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    Aquaman and Bruce Waynes butler
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  18. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

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    Superman - Pants over trousers? Dudes a damn fashion victim. Needs to die.
    Captain america - Whata spanner.
    Thor - Nah, dude.. i'm a god.
    Batman - Utility belt, hell nah. Earn your status mawfuka.
    Ironman - Idunno why, that guy always irked me.
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