If you ever lost your desire to have sex...

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Ignorant, Mar 6, 2007.

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  1. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    ...would you allow your significant other to get some on the side? Would you break up with him/her? Would you make him/her suffer and expect him/her to understand and wait, even if it might take years for you to regain your libido?
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  2. sweet_I

    sweet_I New Member

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    Birth control pills kill my sex drive. Found that out the hard way. Went 3 years w/o sex and w/o giving to my husband (who was my boy friend at the time). He didn't cheat. I know he didn't 'cause we spend more time together than we should. If you ask him, he will even tell you, our relationship is more than sex. But he was happy when I came off the pills.
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  3. ThisMiss

    ThisMiss Guest

    Lmao I doubt I'll ever loose my sex drive, I'm hornier than him!!
    But if I did, I'd expect him to wait, it's not all about sex.
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  4. Hidden_Poetry

    Hidden_Poetry New Member

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    There is no chance of that happening haha. I mean maybe, but I can't see it. I know he'd deffinently never lose his, and I don't see mine going any time soon. However, are relationship is more than sex. So yeah, I could wait. Plus I know how to take care of myself. It ain't the end of the world (remember I've never been in the position either so maybe it is haha)

    But there are times just after I had my boys, when they were babies. I wasn't in the mood. I was too damn tired. So we'd probably go a week without it here and there. It happens when you're exhausted ;o)
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  5. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    I know a relationship is more than sex... that's self-evident... I just don't think that a relationship, more specifically a marriage, is viable without it.

    To say that a relationship is or should be more than sex seems to suggest that sex is expendable, when I don't think it is.
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  6. Hidden_Poetry

    Hidden_Poetry New Member

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    Well, I do think sex is important. I just don't think it's like #1. It's not SO important that we shouldn't be able to go at least 2 weeks without for whatever reason. Without resorting to something else, or someone else.

    If there's a good reaosn why sex isn't being have, then the other person should respect that of their marriage/relationship. If they can't get through it and need to go else where for it. They obviously aren't meant to be with that person.
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  7. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    Actually, I wasn't thinking 2 weeks... that's minor... I'm was thinking a more significant number like 6 months or 2 years... there are wives out there who genuinely don't want to have sex and have made their partners wait that long.

    To me, a good reason why sex isn't being given would be some sort of physical deformity... if it's mental, then he or she should seek counseling and try to work through it if they really care about their spouse. I don't think the other spouse should have to tolerate physical or emotional neglect, which is abuse in my eyes.

    Women may need hugs and kisses... men may need a good romp in the hay... I don't think either need is more important than the other... they're both different, but essential.
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  8. sweet_I

    sweet_I New Member

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    Actually, I don't need either, but thats just me. If it was a reall issue with Husband than we would have delt with it. But during the 3 years it would have been hard to find a place anyway just because of our living arangements.

    He's gone over 2 months now because of the kids. He's getting a bit antsy so we will have to figure that out.
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  9. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    ^Ever thought about baby-sitters and hotels? There's always a way.
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  10. Hidden_Poetry

    Hidden_Poetry New Member

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    Oh, well I don't think other than pregnancy we've ever gone more than 2 weeks lol. So I dunno what we'd do if for whatever reason 6 months---yikes.
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  11. sweet_I

    sweet_I New Member

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    We arn't allowd to leave them with a baby sitter. If we left them it has to be with an approved foster parent resource and there is all sorts of red tape. I can't even leave them with my parents over night 'cause only my mom is approved not my dad.

    At least they have been sleeping through the night. That was a big issue. So when I get rid of my mothly 'friend' maybe we will try to get things back to normal.
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  12. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I would never lose my desire for sex; more likely my desire to have sex with the person I was with. If I ever did just lose complete desire, and he still wanted it, we would have to part ways... no sense in prolonging the inevitable.
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  13. pinky

    pinky yeah yeah yeah

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    ^^^^i agree with tight
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  14. DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA

    DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA The Silencer

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    ^^^ lol yeah i feel you, but damn three years? smh, i know a relationship should be more than just sex,but THREE YEARS? lol smfh................
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  15. sweet_I

    sweet_I New Member

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    LOL, yeah I guess he proved himself there. Plus I know he didn't cheat 'cause we work together and he came over every night and didn't leave until late, then would call me when he got home...so he didn't have time to cheat. There were other circumstances...I lived with my parents at the time and even tho I was old enough to do my thing, I just can't have sex in my parents house. I was also allergic to his house (cats and mold) so didn't go over there. Otherwise I probably would have had sex with him not 'cause I wanted to but cause I knew he did...but we made it through, and take our chances with birth control...
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  16. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    Baby girl, there is ALWAYS "time to cheat" if one so choose to make time for it... it don't take but a minute. In the time it took him to run down the street to the gas station and fill up his tank, he coulda been done ran up in something.

    Not saying he did, but don't fool yourself into thinking he couldn't possibly have, either... feel me?
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  17. sweet_I

    sweet_I New Member

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    If you lived here, you'd know better LOL Especially durring the time period we talking about. There is no way...but I know what your saying...I just know him too.
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  18. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    When you say "cheating," are you speaking strictly in regards to sex?

    I think not giving your partner any is tantamount to cheating, more so in a marriage, because you made a vow. Sexual infidelity isn't the greatest marital sin IMO.
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  19. sweet_I

    sweet_I New Member

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    If I'm not giving it to anyone else than its not cheating. That is the commonly held definition of the term. If I am witholding just to be a bitch than that would be fucked up and probably grounds for divorce for many people. I did not make a vow to have sex with him BTW. That is a bonus. I really didn't withhold. Like I said, if there was a time and place and he wanted I would have just because he wanted but there really wasn't. But I wasn't witholding to be a bitch I had whats equal to a man who has erectile disfunction. I wouldn't devorce my husband if he had that, so he should be understanding when I have issues....had I known what the issues were, I would have fixed them. I didn't know until I ran out of pills and my doctor moved and I couldn't find a new one...
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  20. cyphamasta

    cyphamasta New Member

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    exactly. which is why i think what is sweet I is saying is (no offense) bullshit. THREE FUCKING YEARS. that's ridiculous. i know sex isn't everything but three years is a long ass time and i think that's impossible for a man to sit around for three years and wait.

    if this is true you're stupid for thinking he didn't cheat. there's ALWAYS a way to cheat. whether it be at work or skipping work while you think he's at work. and if he stood around all that time and just accepted it then he's a herb (once again no offense). no self respecting man will just wait for three years and never complain. no man like that exists. and you are even more wrong for making him sit around for three years and not give him anything. not even some head (smh). a man does have needs. aint no way i'm jacking my shit for 3 years waiting. 3 YEARS??!! wow.

    i would've thought there was something wrong with you and took you to the doctor or i would've thought you weren't attracted to me anymore.
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