If a woman gets divorced

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Shit with corn in it IRM'S BITCH, May 10, 2008.

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  1. but keeps her ex's name for the sake of their child so it is the same, does the new guy on the scene who intends to marry her have a reason to be upset about the fact that she 1.) has no problems keeping her ex's name and 2.) wants to have your name and her ex's name?
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  2. Temperanza

    Temperanza Cunt

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    I've never heard of anyone doing that.
    My mom kept her maiden name, and I've never been married so I don't know about all that.

    I wouldn't want to keep my ex husbands name though. For the sake of the kids? That's corney.

    Personally I don't think after a divorce you have any reason to continue using your ex's name. Especially if you're getting remarried.
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  3. that's pretty much how I feel. I know its traditional but I never understood why women give up their names so easily. And If you get a divorce from a guy and you still have his name you are still tied to him in some way.
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  4. ThisMiss

    ThisMiss Guest

    My parents have been divorced for 16 years and she still has his last name. She almost got married again, but I don't know if she would have took his last name...
    I don't really see why someone should be upset, I wouldn't really want to have a different last name than my mom, especially since she's the one who raised me.
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  5. ThisMiss

    ThisMiss Guest

    My parents have been divorced for 16 years and she still has his last name. She almost got married again, but I don't know if she would have took his last name...
    I don't really see why someone should be upset, I wouldn't really want to have a different last name than my mom, especially since she's the one who raised me.
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  6. It's upsetting because she still has her ex's name when she isn't even with him anymore. It's basically like being in a relationship with her and shje has her ex's name and thats weird to a guy.
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  7. ThisMiss

    ThisMiss Guest

    Mmm.. I still don't see it... I'd want to have the same last name as my children.
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  8. I dont understand why you do not see why a guy might be upset that his wife to be wants to keep her ex's name and not his exclusively.
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  9. Temperanza

    Temperanza Cunt

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    I personally think that's a stupid reason to keep your EX husbands last name.

    What would it matter to the kids? I don't have my moms last name and I could honestly care less.
    She is still my mom regardless. Her last name doesn't subtract from that.

    My son dosent have my last name, and I don't see him coming to me saying anything about it.

    I see exactly where Brit is coming from. Keeping your ex's last name would seem to me like you're trying to hold on to a piece of that person. Like you're not ready to let go completely. Using the kids as an excuse is weak.
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  10. Teen Prodigy

    Teen Prodigy Short2003's e-child

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    My mother and I don't have the same last name.
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  11. exactly, so whats the point of keeping it?

    The problem is that she is not with him anymore so why carry on his name like she is still with him. If i'm with a woman and she still has her Ex's name, i'm thinking why do you need it anymore when you can just revert back to your old name? I can kind of understand it for the sake of the kids if they are young, but i can't understand the woman who says "whats the big deal" . A name is a very big deal, and the EX has almost got one over on the new guy by her still having his name and I think a woman should try to understand why a guy might feel weird about it.
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  12. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I can see why a man would have a problem with it, but I can also see why a woman wouldn't want to have to change her last name, again, too. Its a big hassle... who wants to have to keep changing their name? Gotta file paperwork and alert all the companies you have accounts with that your name is changed, show documentation, file with social security, etc. It's a pain.

    I'm pretty much anti-changing my name, in the first place (why is it the woman who is expected to give up her identity?), so I doubt I ever would do it, but if I ever took my husband's last name and we divorced... I'd change it back to my maiden name and never change it again... regardless of whether or not I ever re-married. Second hubby wants us to have the same last name? He can take mine.
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  13. Completely agree, and I've never understood why women give up their name so easily. The power of tradition.

    I doubt his pride would allow it.
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  14. Im not gonna keep going back and forth about this. I feel i've said everything i've wanted to say. I guess we fundamentally disagree. I wouldn't be with a woman who kept her ex's last name, especially if we were going to get married. I do not agree that it's "just a name". Call it a lack of understanding or whatever, but I wouldn't be comfortable with it.
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  15. she wouldn't be "the one" if she felt that keeping the name of her ex was more important than taking mine when we got married.
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  16. It doesn't matter because I don't think women who hold your opinion are in the majority. I think most women would appreciate the fact that a guy wouldn't be ok with her keeping her ex's name if they were to get married.
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  17. In my opinion it's not just a name. Its about all the symbolism that goes with it. The fact that you have a connection through the children is hard enough, add that to the fact that your EX union is still marked by the connection in the same name which you are going to keep for life? then yes we have a problem
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  18. I don't know, i've never been in the position. But I would take her decision as her not wanting to be fully with me and kind of like a rejection and inconsiderate of my feelings which might lead to me not wanting to stick around. It would really insult me if she was asking me why i'm taking "a name" so seriously, etc., I know that. Call it male pride or whatever. On the other hand, if a woman didn't want to take my name, because she wanted to keep her maiden name, id be ok with that.
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  19. Because reverting back to the maiden name marks a definate break from you and him and the new guy would expect you to want to do that.The maiden name is not the name you took from your ex. You may feel like the only reason you are keeping it is to stay connected to the children, but you would be hard pressed to make the guy see it that way especially if you wanted to marry him.

    He would feel like you were asking him to marry you and your ex in a roundabout way, not to mention he would feel like it was flat out disrespectful to him if you wanted to marry him. The guy also might feel like your Ex has one over him by you keeping his name. He might feel like the ex is loving the fact you still have his name even though he isn't with you. If the new guy has any pride at all he is going to be pissed that you wouldn't respect that and act accordingly.

    Depends how serious we were, how long we'd been together etc. If she planned on always keeping it I wouldn't be happy about it.

    For me it's not about saying "take my name or we are through" because I am not even expecting the woman to take my name if she doesn't want to. It's about her not having her EX's name anymore.
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  20. Well, I wouldn't want to marry a woman who wanted to keep her ex's name, not because I would be jealous but because I think it is the most appropriate thing to do for yourself and the most respectfull thing to do for your new partner.You can say it's not being understanding enough but I disagree. I actaully think I would be over accomodating her to allow this. I simply don't wanna be with a woman who is totally cool about walking around with her ex's surname. It's basically saying "I still belong to him" in an indirect way. I don't see having a different name from her kids as being a massive deal. I would have no problems about her kids having the father's name and i'd never expect them to change to my name. If she wants to marry me and keep her ex's name it's not gonna happen. But that's just me.
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