I Tried...

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by ikon211, Jan 17, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ikon211

    ikon211 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2010
    Messages:
    145
    When the time comes
    There'll be sadness and despair
    But to those sobbing know
    I’m in good care
    Know when my time comes
    I'll have but ONE man to fear
    I’ll await the divines answer
    Hopefully you’ll say a prayer…
    Know rather I've done right
    Or rather I've done wrong
    It won’t erase the scars
    On this planet I've caused
    The promises I've broke,
    The lies I've told
    The people I've hurt,
    The wealth I've stole
    I’ll convey this curse to heavens with hope,
    Staring God in the eye
    Begging mercy on my soul.
    (I tried)
    test
  2. patrown

    patrown student for life

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2011
    Messages:
    1,178
    this had some real feeling in it, despair.. regret. a bit of acceptance.
    keep on with it, maybe dive deeper into one emotion.
    test
  3. Prov3rb

    Prov3rb Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2013
    Messages:
    90
    Real emotion behind this, very well written. I think I've gone on this same thought process reminiscing about the end of the line and looking back on what I've done. It's overwhelming when you think about it too much; I think the best thing to do is to try and get to know the one Dude you'll need to fear as best you can in your life.
    test
  4. ikon211

    ikon211 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2010
    Messages:
    145
    @patrown: Thanks man, I was aiming for both emotions. Before posting this piece I should’ve clarified this question; “Exactly what is it the characters regret”? He repents because of his decisions (line 15 and 16 shows an example, but doesn't go into much detail...) Eventually regret turns into despair following his final judgment, instead of trying to fix what he did wrong; he accepts his fate. I hope this clarifies the poem a lot more.

    @Prov3rb: Thanks man! I’ll do that.
    test
  5. jesuit223

    jesuit223 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2013
    Messages:
    40
    hmmmm the ending was very powerful-the part that really stuck out to me
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)