I stand Alone... I want To Walk With Jesus Side By Side

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by MisterEThoughts, Oct 7, 2004.

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  1. Evg.poet

    Evg.poet As the Heart Speaks...

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    Tuff Man...tuff
    test
  2. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    thanks meaning?
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  3. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    thanks meaning?
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  4. quotive

    quotive 3

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    I didn't like this at all..

    Two reasons..

    I'm an Atheist, and theres an EXTREME amount of repitition in this piece.. do you though homie.
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  5. nathedawg

    nathedawg New Member

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    what i mean is the same base.... Repeating I stand alone.... and this is why... and whatnot... i think every poet has a piece like this in their archives... good piece...

    now understand when i say like this... i dont mean exactly like this... b/c i dont write about jesus... no disrespect.. just dont do it... peace
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  6. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    ohh aightz bro i feel you you write about religion basically?
    and how do you do the quote thing? and then it fits in the thing like that?
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  7. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    interesting quot well thansk for your feedback it's interesting some like the rep... some don't heh can't suit everyone but thank you all you to kind....
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  8. *DowntownStar*

    *DowntownStar* ____________________

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    i'm feelin this a lot. there's a lot of emotion behind the words.
    I stand alone without a helping hand….
    I stand alone

    I would like to see many things…
    Many things might be too much things to ask for…..
    I just don’t want to stand alone anymore…

    I always stretch my hand to people I don’t know….
    My hand keeps stretching like a melody of emotional potion

    Take me away from a world that is cold and bitter…
    To somewhere where I can be free….
    Free to describe my feelings through circulation of a pen

    plus other lines that really got me. keep up the good work! pce.
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  9. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    Hey man thanks a lot haven't seen you fooorr soo long man thanks bro where you at?
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  10. areeyesee

    areeyesee New Member

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    i like this. i can really relate to it
    I want to have God reach out his hand and take my…
    Leading me to where I pray to be…..
    i want the same thing, cause where im at aint where im supposed to be right now.
    you speak for alot of people keep it up
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  11. DaJackle

    DaJackle ThoughtS ProcessinG

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    i'ts called anaphora for you guys who doesn't know..the repetition in the beginning...it's use to help intensified the point that the writer is trying to convey...it's a progression of imagery really...pounding them one after another to set the feel and the seriousness of the writer's point...just thought i'd brought that up
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  12. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    haha thats dajack hahah that was nice of you and thanks everyone and you too av thank you....
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  13. Surreal The A.D. Prophet

    Surreal The A.D. Prophet Wondrous Poetic

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    revsion by subtraction would make this a stronger piece. but i think that there could be more added.

    ex of revision i mean

    I stand alone in pain….
    without anyone to accompany me…..
    I stand alone without a helping hand….
    I stand alone….
    perhaps awaiting a gentle souls offering
    a hand?

    for ever I stand
    alone…..

    standing, begging….
    hoping for clarity….reality…
    hoping that this is a dream…

    when I open up my eyes I will see…
    I would like to see many things…
    maybe too many things to ask for…..
    test
  14. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    haha i feel you cool man sounds coolio i try that next time it's keyed so maybe thats why....
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  15. Anaphora

    Anaphora was here

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    I like surreal's ideas, but even the first two lines are repetitious... I stand alone means there's no one there... but yea... give it another whirl by all means, usually less is more, just stick to the most vibrant, and powerful images.
    test
  16. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    thanks yooo much lovee
    test
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